"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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The one I really want.

Downrock27

Don Juan
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So I met this really great girl at work... funny thing is.. she's not even that great looking. She has the most amazing personality though and I find myself very attracted to her.

Anyways i've known her since I started this job in February, and up until about 3 weeks ago she had a boyfriend of 3 years. Ever since I started there she has been extremely flirtatious towards me.. as well as constantly throwing compliments my way.

Long story short... she broke up with her boyfriend about 3 weeks ago. About a week later... she is "seeing" some new guy.

Right now he is visiting a friend in Mexico, and since they arent official yet, I asked her to come with me to see Cirque du Soleil.

After this unnoffical date in which no moves were made by me as usual... she asked me back to her friend's housewarming party. Again, had fun but too ***** to make any moves.

Anyways, I know I'm jumping around here... but the point is.. I'm pretty sure this girl is into me.. but I have an insane fear of rejection. I'm a confident person in most aspects of life including socially, but I have a real problem asking out a girl when I'm really into her.

Not sure what to do at this point. I really like her but if I get rejected I'll have to deal with seeing her at work 40 hours a week...(we share a cubicle).

As a side note I am without a doubt better looking than she is... not to sound arrogant but that much is obvious. Also at times I wonder if she has the feeling she is inferior and really has no chance with me... shes not used to dating guys that have much in the looks department.

She also constantly mentions this new guy to me... which i have seen a picture of, as if she is trying to prove to me her worthiness. I don't understand why she would constantly mention this other guy and then turn around and flirt with me.

I think I'm just ranting here at this point, but I had to let it out somewhere. Really confused about this one. Not even used to being attracted to this type of girl. Thanks to anyone who reads this.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Quit being scared and ask her out immediately so that you will not have any regrets later.

I think you are in love with her. :)
 

Pimp-sicle

Master Don Juan
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One, you shouldn't be worrying about this so much this early!!! There are two sides to every coin and it sounds like she could be mentioning this other dood to make you jealous or to indirectly tell you she likes him. But the only way your going to win her over is by ATTRACTING HER to you!!

Basically your confused because your suppose to be! Its only been one get together, so you shouldn't really know what's going on in a sense. But if she's not giving you the opportunity to make a move on her and keeps mentioning the other guy, then you should take the hint.

Two tips to keep your mind straight:

1-Definitely date other women, shiat you already know she is.

2-Really think about whether she's worth it or not, because you work with her. I think its rule #3 in the unoffical Player's Handbook not to dip your pen in the company ink.




PIMP
 

Hubris

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She mentiones her boyfriend because she's intimidated by you. Having someone is a form of status. Just like driving a car or having your own place.

She diggs you, trust me. She might think she has no chance with you for some reason. So this is what you do...

Next time you go walk somewhere, out to lunch at work, out to a movie or when you're just standing around, give her a few rakes with your hand on her back. Just quick, friendly but a little unexpected. Just go up and down two or three times and do it when she's not looking.

See what her reaction is. A bit later, try something else (hand touching?)
 

NatureGuy

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Some good advice here, but I wouldn't get involved too much with someone you work that closely with, especially where you share the same cubicle.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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