Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

"The One" -hints for losing the thought

WhAcKeD!

Don Juan
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Ok, I know most of you don’t know me, and you may think I have inexperience in this forum and the art of the DJ through my lack of a couple hundred posts plus, but I am here to give information and help those who think they have found “The One.” The One is a delusion of the mind that insists to the holder that the girl they are obsessed with is the person they have to be with and they need to be with. A more intense form of oneitis I believe. This is the girl they dream of every night, the girl that comes to their mind when they hear that song on the radio, the single girl that is stopping them from having intimate connections with other beauties.

A Little Background (Okay maybe a lot, but it helps)

The reason why I believe that I can speak about this and help others with this issue is because I have been through “The One” phase of thinking. This girl, whom I shall refer to as J from now on, is the girl that has changed my life. AFC you say? Think again, this girl changed my life because she shed upon me the harsh truth of reality: you can’t always get what you want. She made it clear to me that if I were going to get her, or any other girl and keep them, I was going to have to change. Wanting is a desire, acting and obtaining is something completely different. If you go into a relationship with a girl wanting her, than sorry my friend, be prepared to enjoy torment and torture for as long as you are stuck with her. Real men are not worried about attracting girls and wanting them. They already have them.

When I first laid eyes upon J, I knew my life would never be the same. The not yet discovered AFC within me surfaced, and it ruined everything I could have had with her. I was attached like a magnet to a refrigerator. Every pathetic second of my life I thought about her; What is she doing right now? What does she think about me? Does she like me as much as I like her? Does she even like me?

Day after fvcking day I would be by her house considering the fact that we basically live right beside each other. I would hang out with friends by her house, I would play basketball on her hoop, I would sit down and look at her window in hopes to catch even the slightest glimpse of her. I would purposely go out of my way to drive by her house to see if she was outside. Freaky huh? A sort of stalker if you would. I was as AFC as you could get, WBAFC, Way Below Average Frustrated Chump. People would laugh at me and tell me how childish I was acting, but I didn’t care, I had found “The One.”

My feelings grew for her day by day. She was a goddess to me. I thought she was perfect, beauty radiated from her in every possible way. But I was a pawn in her kingdom, a slave to the master, I was wrapped around her finger so tightly she could tell me to jump and I would have asked how high. She even had a boyfriend, but this did not slow me down at all. When I listed to music in my car, all I thought about was her, all it did was remind me of her. With this train of thought, failure would be the only outcome.
One day I was driving in my car with her and some of her friends, when I told her I needed to tell her something. I wished I had found this site beforehand, because what followed is the single most important step to never reveal to a girl. I TOLD HER EVERY SINGLE THING I FELT ABOUT HER. I got her alone with me, I told her how every morning I would wake up and be happy because I knew was going to be there again, how I looked forward to the day because she was a part of my life. I told her she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. Guess what happened? This was so pathetic to her, half way through my little display of captivation she asked if I was done yet and rolled her eyes at me. This hurt me, bad, I cried when I came home that night. I cried, I had not cried seriously since I was around 12 years old. I was 16 and I was crying like a pathetic loser. I got online that night, waiting for her to appear so I could talk to her. She told me that night that she didn’t have any feelings for me at all. She told me I was an attractive person, but she told me that nothing could ever happen. I cried, again, “The One” was gone, my life was deteriorating, and I was at an all time low in emotional stability.

Enter SoSuave, the crutch for another pathetic AFC that was seeking guidance.

From AFC to DJ

I was PISSED now. I didn’t give a fvck about anything anymore. Everything meant shyt to me. I had lost my girl, I wasn’t a socially active person, my grades were slipping, and I was a wreck with no self-esteem or confidence. I searched in Google one night, “Getting girls to like you” and some how I found www.SoSuave.com. I read and I read, I devoured information throughout the website. I wanted things to change for me, and I realized that the only way for that to happen was to take hold of my life.

This girl caused me to find SoSuave, for that I thank her, because if I hadn’t, who knows what would have happened to me. I read posts about avoiding contact, improving yourself (physical and mental), and a load of others that contributed to my rise in a boring life. I began to get more active with school, talk to people I didn’t know, hold and start interesting conversations, I learned how to be ****y and funny (which is a major aspect of the DJ, I am very successful with it), I learned the art of kino and how it could help me, I started cold approaches and developing friendships with people I didn’t know. Things were starting to look up for me, people noticed a huge change in my attitude and the way I presented myself. But I knew in my mind I had unfinished business to attend to.

I began to work my new found abilities on J. I think she was somewhat shocked of what was happening. No longer did I wait around for her, no more did I call her or talk to her on AIM, I was now free and she knew it, my primary focus was not on her anymore and she hated it. She loved it when she ruled my life, why? Because she did not even have to try. I was her emotional tampon, I was always there for her when she needed it, I always gave her compliments and tell her how much she meant to me, I was the perfect friend. No longer was I there for her, after about 2 months of detachment, I showed her my evolved state of being. I was ****y and funny, I was a fun person to hang out with, I separated myself from her, I used kino a lot, most importantly I didn’t give a fvck about her or what she did with other guys anymore. Because of this, I started noticing her rapid increase in interest towards me.

I separated myself from her for another month, and this is when she began to get really uneasy about what was happening. I created mystery about myself, which is a very important thing one most apply to hold interest. I talked to other girls, I developed relationships with other girls and no longer was she the focus of my life. After this month, she was in my hands. Now it was my turn. She poured her heart out to me on how much she liked me, how much I meant to her, she told me if there was one person in the world she could be with, it would be me, a previous goddess to me, who is now a girl with flesh and blood, has since told me that she loves me.

The Demotion of a Goddess, the Elimination of “The One”

Through everything said, something you must keep in mind is that no matter what a girl puts you through, no matter how much you think you love her, she is a girl. She is a human being, not some step above mankind. If any girl is putting you through shyt, fvck her then, you are a damn man, no one has control of yourself other than you. You do not deserve the hurt that could happen from a disaster waiting to happen. No matter the beauty and personality a girl might have that you think is fvcking grand, you must be able to put it through your head that there are others out there, you just have to have the balls to find them. You must always go into a relationship willing to let her go at any moments notice. If you are able to do this then you have successfully realized she is a girl, there are many others out there that better suite you, and you know it. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it is always necessary. If you are stuck with a situation where you believe a girl you have met is “The One,” get her out of your head quick if you do not want to go through what I went through.

See when you get this mindset that she is one girl among a sea full, you begin to realize that it doesn’t matter anymore. All you need is the confidence to change your life around and find a girl that can better suit your needs.

-Girls love being worshipped, turn the tides and make them worship you
-Be a God to them, don’t let them be a goddess to you
-The day you give a shyt IS the day you lose
-Sacrifices must be made if success is to made
-Think of long term opportunities, not short term
-Surround yourself with other girls, this will help you keep your mind off her and concentrate on more important things
-Improve yourself when you are not doing something productive. Go to the gym, or something else that could improve the way you look.

~WhAcKeD!
 

SageOFAllenAge

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Did you hook up with J ?

Ive been through something like this as well, but i dont think its good to hook up with the girl thats given me so much heartache, I see her as more like the one that made me wake up & smell reality.
 

chicksrock

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Great post whacked.... inspirational stuff...
keep up the good work...

Ok, I know most of you don’t know me, and you may think I have inexperience in this forum and the art of the DJ through my lack of a couple hundred posts plus

I certainly don't have that attitude, I believe we all have something to learn from each other to improve ourselves ...whether we are the beginner dj or advanced dj is irrelevant...
 

InsidiousNstinct

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I REALLY enjoyed this post. Sticky!
 

neobrood

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Put this in DJ BIBLE!!!

... cuz it deserves to be in it.

This post... I give this 5 stars... :)

***I can perfectly relate to what you're sayin.
 

WhAcKeD!

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Thanks for the feedback guys. No I never hooked up with J, I realized she was not worth the time and effort that I put into her so I have since moved on.
 
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Great post, so true! I love the way women who once dissed you chase you when you no longer want them. :)
 

WhAcKeD!

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seeing an increased number of these types of situations appear...
 

Austin Allegro

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It's been said before, but probably the best and simplest way of overcoming oneitis is to think back to what happened in your LAST case of oneitis. Did it work out? No. Same thing will happen this time.
 
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Originally posted by WhAcKeD!
Thanks for the feedback guys. No I never hooked up with J, I realized she was not worth the time and effort that I put into her so I have since moved on.
This is the most important part! Good post bro!
 

SageOFAllenAge

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Originally posted by WhAcKeD!
Thanks for the feedback guys. No I never hooked up with J, I realized she was not worth the time and effort that I put into her so I have since moved on.
I agree, I hope that im as strong willed if i end up being in your shoes.
 

SOLDIERM16

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Dude. Thank you. Thats all i can say.



I came on this site tonight... for the purpose of figuring out what to do with a girl that i am starting to fall for (despite my dj'ness). I was wondering what to do. U have solved my prob... im gonna read this thread every day to help me keep my mind right.
 

rocalot

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good **** whacked its so true I started doing the same as sosuave suggests and man it fvcking changed my life ... its so true man because I went through the same **** and man now I am becoming a damn winner because of so suave
 

Engetsu

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Good post, but I have to disagree with you calling her "The One", because that's not what "The One" is. You have just experienced pure and simple oneitis.

"The One" is when you have found the girl that fits your criteria for a wife: she has all the traits you desire in a woman (you should make a list) and, (more importantly), you have GONE OUT with her and you already KNOW her, which, if I'm not mistaked, hasn't happened in your case.

You can't call her "The One" because, even if you know her perfectly on all aspects, you haven't experienced the way she handles a relationship with YOU. That's the missing elements.

But seriously, if you desire to live the player lifestyle, it's up to you. I'm just telling you that there are other alternatives, and that it would be nice to find a girl that suits you that you could spend the rest of your life with.
 

WhAcKeD!

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Im glad some of you can benefit from this post, remember no girl is worth the potential pain they can cause, if there is one that is giving you shyt, get rid of her, youll benefit greatly from it.

Thanks everyone for the feedback.
 

thefonz

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great post whacked....to add to this"the one" conversation, I thought "the one" was as neophyte commonly refered to as an afc who has had the matrix removed from his eyes......who can see the world for what it really is and not some terrible fanasty that has been created to make us feel comfortable......

anyways don't listen to the radio if you have one-itis, ugh...."I FOUND A REASON FOR MEEEEEEEE, TO CHANGE WHO I USED TO BEEEEEEEEE" -emotional drivel
 

urbanwhite

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Great Post

That was a great post. You seem pretty experienced to me. I wish I had your wisdom at 17.
 
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