Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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The older I get, the less I care.

49au

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I've been spinning several plates recently but have been really been enjoying one in particular that I thought was GF material. 25yo, solid 8, maybe 9. We went out 5 times and genuinely always have an awesome time.

I had a very strong frame and she has seen me with several other quality girls. I've fvcked her and she has commented on how physical/aggressive I am.

Then, out of the blue... she throws me a curveball sh!t test and flakes on me (in a disrespectful way) without offering an alternative plan for what would've been the 6th date. The next day she really starts trying to provoke a reaction from me with some petty Facebook games. Here's how I would handle this, by age:


At 18: Send a poem about how special she feels, and chase her like crazy. (Result: FAIL)

At 21: Ask her if there's another guy, and try to convince her to go out with me instead of him. (Result: FAIL)

At 25: Wait a few days and invite her out again. (Result: She probably goes out with me again, but IL drops and she gets the upper hand.)

Now (29): Just say "ok", don't reveal anything, and never ask her out again. Focus on my other plates. Ignore her unless/until she starts begging to see me. And if/when she does, tell her that I don't feel like doing anything, so she can come over. (Result so far: She sends me a very frustrated text after a couple days of ignoring her contacts. I continue to maintain the frame.)

I wish I was this apathetic when I was 18. Ugh.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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st_99

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yeah, we all wish we were enlightened sooner. Sh!t, when i think back
to how much of a freaking idiot i was in responding to women in the past
i don't know whether to cry or laugh. lol.
 

DonGorgon

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LOL WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG YOU ARE HYPER AND FULL OF ENERGY TO WAIST ON BS.. but when you are old you loose that drive and simple dont want to do it.. and you dont feel like dealing with rejection and failure .. its the cycle of life..
 

Pimp-sicle

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Good post, I couldn't agree more and it coincides with my progression as well.

Aside from experience, a big key to learning all this is it tends to go hand in hand with developing your life as a man.

Get a job, your own place, more responsibility, hobbies, meet more people etc etc; women find you attractive for various reasons and it seems almost effortless compared to before.




PIMP
 

49au

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I agree. I have a much better perspective on life in general than I did a few years ago, hell, even a year ago. And I realize in the scheme of things, women are everywhere. Developing yourself is everything. All the other stuff will then fall into place.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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bigneil

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49au said:
At 18: Send a poem about how special she feels, and chase her like crazy. (Result: FAIL)

At 21: Ask her if there's another guy, and try to convince her to go out with me instead of him. (Result: FAIL)

At 25: Wait a few days and invite her out again. (Result: She probably goes out with me again, but IL drops and she gets the upper hand.)

Now (29): Just say "ok", don't reveal anything, and never ask her out again. Focus on my other plates. Ignore her unless/until she starts begging to see me. And if/when she does, tell her that I don't feel like doing anything, so she can come over. (Result so far: She sends me a very frustrated text after a couple days of ignoring her contacts. I continue to maintain the frame.)

I wish I was this apathetic when I was 18. Ugh.
Age 41: When you find about another guy she's been seeing behind your back (or you behind his rather), you tell her how handsome he is, and that they should stay together. She begs you for sex and confesses her feelings in writing after an orgasm.
 

49au

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Nice.

This girl I've been seeing recently tried to make me jealous of one of my friends and I said something like "I can give you his number. I think you two would have fun." I never heard about it again.

His ex did the same thing with him. I told her I was going on a trip to cage dive with great white sharks in Mexico, and she told him she wanted to go with me. He said he didn't care what she did. Then she asked something stupid like, "but what if we end up hooking up?" I was just laughing and he again told her he could give a sh!t less.

He has complete mind control over that girl to this day.
 

BMX

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^^Nice!
I don't even dress up anymore when I go out if I'm not feeling it. Surprisingly I get better results. LOL
 

Zarky

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sh*t test came because she could tell you were getting more and more into her.

Hope you learned your lesson. In your 30s you won't make that error (or you'll make it less often ;)
 

Night-hawk

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49au said:
I've been spinning several plates recently but have been really been enjoying one in particular that I thought was GF material. 25yo, solid 8, maybe 9. We went out 5 times and genuinely always have an awesome time.

I had a very strong frame and she has seen me with several other quality girls. I've fvcked her and she has commented on how physical/aggressive I am.

Then, out of the blue... she throws me a curveball sh!t test and flakes on me (in a disrespectful way) without offering an alternative plan for what would've been the 6th date. The next day she really starts trying to provoke a reaction from me with some petty Facebook games. Here's how I would handle this, by age:


At 18: Send a poem about how special she feels, and chase her like crazy. (Result: FAIL)

At 21: Ask her if there's another guy, and try to convince her to go out with me instead of him. (Result: FAIL)

At 25: Wait a few days and invite her out again. (Result: She probably goes out with me again, but IL drops and she gets the upper hand.)

Now (29): Just say "ok", don't reveal anything, and never ask her out again. Focus on my other plates. Ignore her unless/until she starts begging to see me. And if/when she does, tell her that I don't feel like doing anything, so she can come over. (Result so far: She sends me a very frustrated text after a couple days of ignoring her contacts. I continue to maintain the frame.)

I wish I was this apathetic when I was 18. Ugh.
Awesome post.

bigneil said:
Age 41: When you find about another guy she's been seeing behind your back (or you behind his rather), you tell her how handsome he is, and that they should stay together. She begs you for sex and confesses her feelings in writing after an orgasm.
This is some real manitude right here.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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49au

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Zarky said:
sh*t test came because she could tell you were getting more and more into her.

Hope you learned your lesson. In your 30s you won't make that error (or you'll make it less often ;)
Yeah, it's weird... most women I could care less about. Every now and then I meet one that I fall for pretty hard and I give them too much too soon. But I know how far I've come because I would've handled this situation so much differently in the past. Now I'm genuinely willing to let her go rather than concede and be in a dynamic where she gains control.
 

zekko

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bigneil said:
Age 41: When you find about another guy she's been seeing behind your back (or you behind his rather), you tell her how handsome he is, and that they should stay together. She begs you for sex and confesses her feelings in writing after an orgasm.
I think this is the fundamental difference between you and I.
Why would you reward her with sex for seeing a guy behind your back?
I would drop her and never look back.
 

5string

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zekko said:
I think this is the fundamental difference between you and I.
Why would you reward her with sex for seeing a guy behind your back?
I would drop her and never look back.
Yep!
 
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