The often misused term: "Alpha"

[Dash Riprock]

There's a lot of talk on SS about being "Alpha." I see commercials on TV for "Alpha" supplements that will boost testosterone, etc. There's even a movie out now called "Alpha" though I think it's more about a wolf befriended by a boy--which brings me to my point:

Being Alpha is not bad thing.

It's also not a 100% good thing. Unless we're talking a wolf pack, which we're not. We evolved humans (most of us...).

Let me explain:

Being "too alpha" can be detrimental to your personal, professional, and dating game. "Pure Alphas" though aggressive, dominant, and authoritative, are also very apt to making bad decisions in life, love, and business because of the aforementioned qualities. Yes, the alpha can pull women, absolutely. He's also most likely the guy who cheats (and gets caught) and/or has been divorced 2-3 times, paying multiple women alimony and may even have kids with multiple women involving child support for all. Good for a wolf pack? Great. Human? Not so much. We are held accountable for actions in society unlike wild canines. Pure alphas are also far more likely to look for that next "rush" by way of substance abuse, misuse of money, and violence. Being a violent alpha leader in wolf pack? Great. Humans? Not so much. So though the "Alpha" has some strong qualities that account for some success, the paradox is that they are also their own worst enemy giving into detrimental T-fueled impulses that drive emotionally-charged decisions which can lead to personal, physical, and financial strife or ruin.

Strive to be a Don Juan/DJ. The DJ knows when to turn on the high testosterone to get things done, and when to dial back as to not lead oneself into bad decisions (in love, life, physical, etc.). They are assertive, not overly aggressive, and certainly not passive. They are calculating and know when and where to apply their energy to women, dating, personal, and business and when to pump the brakes.

A NASCAR has 800-900 HP and a max speed of over 200 MPH. But ask any pro driver and they do not have the pedal to the metal in 100% of race situations. It's actually only in a limited number of instances; passing, some straightaways, some open space. That's it. Maybe 20% of the time, tops.

So, the goal is to be a "Controlled Alpha" or simply put a DJ. Be the NASCAR driver if that helps. You are driven, assertive, aware, goal-oriented and your awareness and senses are keen. You don't answer to anyone nor do you take any BS--from anyone. You drive your life. Your success and happiness is NOT determined by the acceptance of some woman or any women. You employ IDGAF and the Abundance Mindset--always. You are continually working on your game and self. You are never finished or complete.

Employ this mindset and your life will change for the positive in all aspects forever.

Best of luck.

~Dash

 

[ohrein]

Perfect summary. Women want a man, not an a$$hole. They're attracted to the a$$hole, but attraction alone is not the only ingredient in a happy relationship, exclusive or not. So be formidable, that's attractive. But be kind too. That's also attractive.

As always, this advice doesn't apply to sarging.

 

[guru1000]

Yes, it's about being fluid.

Many young (and even older) men operate unilaterally whereas they forge one identity (conditioned through observation of others) and hold steadfast to that identity as (they feel) it gives them meaning. A two-sided sword where one side enfranchises but the other imprisons.

Far better to be fluid, like water, and form action as the situation accords. Be formless, be shapeless ... at least initially. Simply respond (not react) as required to bring the frame into your favor. Some contexts require subtlety and finesse. Others require no action other than vigilance. While others demand extreme boldness.

Be cognizant of the context, and feed the frame as needed ... to win. Dangerous is he who has no set form to contend with.

 

[Spaz]

There's no alpha or even beta for higher life forms such as men.

There's only and always has been dominant and passive men.

 

[Billtx49]

There's no alpha or even beta for higher life forms such as men.

There's only and always has been dominant and passive men.

Yes, last century they used to call them Type A and Type B. A was more active and got things done in his life with minimal regard to his experience level, whereas B was a couch sitter and think about things type of guy with no risks taken unless forced to by external circumstances …
A is more likely to be a leader, but as OP thought, he has to also be a thinking man in action as it’s needed.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Nah, **** that. Be alpha. You want to dominate every situation you are in. Don't be insubordinate at work, but use your alpha leadership qualities to be one step ahead of everyone.

 

[zekko]

Yes, last century they used to call them Type A and Type B. A was more active and got things done in his life with minimal regard to his experience level, whereas B was a couch sitter and think about things type of guy with no risks taken unless forced to by external circumstances …
A is more likely to be a leader, but as OP thought, he has to also be a thinking man in action as it’s needed.

I remember all the talk about type As and type Bs.

It wasn't all good for the type As,, because they were thought to have more stress, more anxiety, and be more at risk for things like heart attacks, strokes, and general bad health.
Type Bs were thought to be more laid back, relaxed, mellow, and in better health overall.

 

[Ranger]

I don’t pay attention to that much.

 

[Billtx49]

I remember all the talk about type As and type Bs.

It wasn't all good for the type As,, because they were thought to have more stress, more anxiety, and be more at risk for things like heart attacks, strokes, and general bad health.
Type Bs were thought to be more laid back, relaxed, mellow, and in better health overall.

There are many causes for stress related illness, but a big one is if a man takes on a life roll he is not well suited for personality wise.

 

[Chi Town]

Dominant vs submissive
Feminine vs masculine
Tough vs soft
Bold vs fearful
Doer vs talker
Tough-minded vs weak-minded
Disagreeable vs agreeable

Everyone falls on one side of the list, can't be something your not, either it is or it ain't. Be yourself.

There's pros and cons to both.

 

[Spaz]

There are many causes for stress related illness, but a big one is if a man takes on a life roll he is not well suited for personality wise.

Correct billtx49.

I'll expand a bit on ur post.

A man who's born into an inherently passive personality trait WILL be unhappy when he assumes a wholely dominant trait.

Likewise for a dominant assuming a wholely passive personality trait.

There r 4 personality traits that's only applicable to men.

Yet each one of those personality traits produces great men. With each trait playing an important role within a world of men and beast.

The Alpha that most men here subscribe towards being is actually the personality of a motivator who is dominant by nature. No one can be successful into that personality unless he is born into it.

Albert Einstein is an intellectual/passive personality whose greatness has shape mankind. Who can deny his greatness ?

Charlie Chaplin or Micheal Jackson whom belongs to the expressive/passive personality offer their greatness by providing entertainment - a great stress reducing element that humanity cannot do without. Who can deny their greatness ?

However each man in ALL the personality traits MUST acquire masculine frames, these can be learned and be mentored into.

Know which personality quadrant you belong in, work within it for that enhances ur inherent abilities to be great.

 

[Ranger]

Correct billtx49.

I'll expand a bit on ur post.

A man who's born into an inherently passive personality trait WILL be unhappy when he assumes a wholely dominant trait.

Likewise for a dominant assuming a wholely passive personality trait.

There r 4 personality traits that's only applicable to men.

Yet each one of those personality traits produces great men. With each trait playing an important role within a world of men and beast.

The Alpha that most men here subscribe towards being is actually the personality of a motivator who is dominant by nature. No one can be successful into that personality unless he is born into it.

Albert Einstein is an intellectual/passive personality whose greatness has shape mankind. Who can deny his greatness ?

Charlie Chaplin or Micheal Jackson whom belongs to the expressive/passive personality offer their greatness by providing entertainment - a great stress reducing element that humanity cannot do without. Who can deny their greatness ?

However each man in ALL the personality traits MUST acquire masculine frames, these can be learned and be mentored into.

Know which personality quadrant you belong in, work within it for that enhances ur inherent abilities to be great.

A really good post.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Good posts everyone. I think it´s good to try different things to see what works most of the time.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I worked with a CEO who was alpha to the point that most people couldnt stand him. Dude was a loud talker, a really, really loud talker. He also insisted on not using his office and preferred a cubicle on the main office floor, to show all of us little people that he was on our level, so everyone had to listen to him scream into the phone all day. He even had a weekend rock band with his executive buddies, where of course he was the lead. At the time I knew him, he was going through a messy divorce and getting screwed in court by his estranged wife.

 

[EyeBRollin]

There is no such thing as “too alpha,” as one of the chief characteristics of alpha is emotional self control. A hyper masculine type with no level of restraint is the antithesis of an alpha male.

 

[EyeBRollin]

If you’ve seen the planet of the apes reboot trilogy, Caesar is one of the best movie adaptations of alpha male there is. Ape society was shown in full evolution to primative to human-like.

Caesar was strong, though not the strongest physically. He dethroned former alpha Rocket, by outsmarting him to align himself with the physically strongest ape, Buck. Koba vs Caesar in Dawn tackles this topic, as both are an even match physically and intellectually. However, Caesar succeeds through stronger moral code and higher levels of self-restraint than Koba. Put another way, difference between two men that are even physically, intellectually, and / or financially comes down to emotional intelligence and ethics. One uses his power for good, the other uses his power just because he can.

As mentioned in the other thread - alpha is the embodiment of leadership. It is a combination of confidence, strength, intellect, conviction, and self control. Macho men are not alpha.