I have had a lot of hard lessons. Here's one.
Shortly after I kicked drug addiction, I met what seemed to be a cool girl. I told her from the get go that I had been an addict, and that I didn't hang out with or date anyone who uses anything. She agreed that drugs were bad and said I had nothing to worry about with her.
1st Date/warning sign - She asks me to pick her up at her friends house. I get there at the agreed time. A girl comes out of the house and says "Kelley will be just a few minutes." 20 minutes later Kelley emerges from a room under the house, acting kind of different. Didn't give it much thought but had a weird feeling. Fvcked her that night.
2nd date/warning sign - I pick her up after work. She worked selling satellite dishes on the side of the highway. She claims she is waiting for a friend to come by who she owes money. When friend arrives(a weird looking older guy) she asks to borrow $20 to pay him, and she'll pay me back later. I dont give her it, and she spends 20 minutes in his car having a difficult looking conversation. When she returns she is quiet and frustrated. Fvck her again that night.
A couple weeks later - she has moved in with me, and borrowed my pager, which she somehow left it with "a friend." I finally discover that she is a total crack ho. Her boss pays her with crack, and she gave my pager to a dealer for collateral. When I call her on it she get's all up in my face calling me a piece of sh!t and all kinds of other nonsense. I tell her to get the fvck out.
Revenge step 1 - I lived a ways from town and refused to give her a ride when I was kicking her out. I had a walmart bike outside with a chain that slipped when you peddled. Knowing she would try to ride it, I sat and listened with an ear to ear grin.
Peddle peddle slip crash. She ate sh!t on the gravel driveway. I heard her cussing, then she walked off.
Revenge step 2, get back the pager - I conveniently have all of her clothes. I wont give them back until she gives me my pager. Her crack head boss starts calling and threatening me. I tell him she aint getting her stuff until I get my pager or $50. He agrees, and we plan a meeting time and spot. I dont trust him and know he will try to pull some shyt.
Revenge step 3 - By now I have a new GF, soon to be wife, with an 8 month old baby. I happened to have thrown a couple of his shyt diapers out on my patio, where they sat in the sun and rain for two weeks, incubating and cultivating into a hazardous substance of unimaginable stench. Knowing that the crack head boss had no intention of giving me my pager or $, I chose a pre-emptive strike. I put on large kitchen gloves and a face mask, and then stirred the evil diaper sauce into her bag of clothes. Plunging the rotten diapers deep into the bag. I then put the bag in a few more plastic bags so it couldn't be smelled.
The drop off - Sure enough, the crack head boss pulls a fast one and grabs the bag out of my car, put's it in his car and tells me to fvck off. I had a broken wrist so I couldn't really do anything. I let him go on his way.
30 minutes later he calls me back in a rage. He had brought the bag to his house where kelley was waiting. They had dumped the bag out in the living room, thereby getting shyt strewn clothes and shyt all over his rug. He was livid, threatening to kill me etc. I called him a pvssy and told him to meet me back at the meeting spot so I could give him a nice beat down. With my broken wrist I had no intention of going there. I hung out with my new GF, watching a movie, and laughing about the whole thing.
I dont know if that was a DJ way to handle it, but I made my point. Funny thing is, a few years later, I ran into Kelley at a club. She was sober and looking pretty good. We almost went home together that night. She remembered how good I f'd her, and all else was forgiven.
