HIGH SCHOOL DANCES
Your social status is determined, often enough, by your actions at a handful of public events. Click circles are forged and broken on the dance-floor/gym-floor.
Why Tony?
Simply enough – HSers are immature and especially insecure. Deciding who is cool, who is hot, and who to reject are all choices kids do not want to make alone. They cant handle the mental responsibility. However, when in groups, each person makes a partial decision about the newcomer and collectively [through a sum of many half-formulated opinions] a verdict is reached.
So any function where the entire school (or the majority of the “fun” kids) are present allows groups of kids to reach decisions quickly and act accordingly. Dances are no exception… they are a perfect example.
Before we begin, you should understand a few things:
Dance clubs are the HARDEST venue to cold approach. Dance clubs are the BEST place to warm approach [I just made that up]. A cold approach is any initiation by a pick up artist to seduce a target. A warm approach is an attempt to seduce after you already have a foundation of interest and rapport (you have cold approached her already, she remembers you and is interested).
Why again, Tony?
If you were a tipsy woman in a 100 dollar halter and 200 dollar jeans would you feel comfortable with a drunken man in an ugly pink polo putting his crotch on your ass – even if hes got rhythm? I didn’t think so. Even worse, what if he was the tenth loser to try? Thats just frustrating. BUT! You met this CUTE guy on campus last Monday and you havent had a chance to talk to him again. But you think he likes you. If HE was here... youd shake your ass and HOPE he got the message – and hope hes got some rhythm.
Clubs are great for partying with a circle of acquaintances on a Saturday night... they are a perfect opportunity to get physical with the all the girls youve met, but havent dated.
BUT THIS IS A GYM FLOOR – AND THERE ISNT A BAR ACROSS FROM THE DJ!!! That just makes things harder. High school dances are TOUGH first approaches, but EASY kiss closes on girls who you have already begun to seduce.
Ok, so what the hell am I supposed to accomplish, Tony?
FIELD REPORT TIME =)
I had agreed to take a family friend to her homecoming dance. I dressed to impress, so did she. There was a 30 minute wait to get in, and I talked to EVERYONE around me in line. I got into the dance and mingled for an hour. My date and I walked to EVERY click circle where we knew ONE person or more, said hello, then introduced ourselves to everyone else in the circle. Chit chat, say its been fun, leave, and repeat. More and more people began to dance so I grabbed my date, stood by a circle where people were particularly friendly and were already dancing. I half danced for a moment, looked into my dates eyes and held out my hand. She took my hand and I pulled her to me – we grinded for a few songs. Im not a spectacular dancer by ANY means. BUT I was smiling and having fun, so was my date. All the girls in that circle took notice. After 3 songs of dancing non stop I took a step from my date, fanned myself jokingly, and then [again, as a joke] fanned a girl who was dancing in the circle by herself. She smiled, I held out my hand and moved my fingers as if to say “C’mere!” She took my hand, and I pulled her to me... I danced without touching her body with mine for half a song... holding her hand lightly with mine. Still smiling, I yelled my name @ the top of my lungs. She pulled me to her and said her name... we danced w/o a smidgen of daylight in-between us for the rest of the song. I turned to some guy from another near by group and motioned for him to dance with my date – he was grateful.
I told the new girl it was nice to meet her, fanned her off again, and wrapped my arm around my date and walked her away from the guy she was with to another circle. When I started dancing this time she was ALL OVER ME. The fact that the other girl from the circle liked me made her want me all the more. She ran her fingers through my hair and looked into my eyes as we danced. After 2 songs I simply made eye contact with a different girl [who was dancing with a guy, her ass on his crotch]. I took a few steps from my date and put MY ASS ON HER CROTCH and danced like a girl, running my fingers thru my own hair an shaaaking what my momma gave me. She had seen how my date was dancing with me – instantly she was interested. So what did she do? SHE SPANKED ME!!! I looked back with my hand over my mouth like “O MY GAWD!” She burst out laughing, I grabbed her and pulled her away from the guy she was dancing with. There was no chivalry period this time... she rode my leg like a fvckin mechanical bull. After I realized this girl was SUPER interested I motioned to the guy she WAS with to grab my date. He didnt get it. So I pulled my date over to him, winked, and turned back to the new girl. After 2 songs of grinding HARD a slow song came on. Instead of being a shmuk and treating a slow song seriously with some girl I JUST MET I simply took a few steps back, held out my hand, and danced with a good 12 inches in-between us. It was too funny. When her laugh turned into a smile with eye contact I slowed the dancing [skipped every other beat] and kissed her.
My date was jealous, but she was a friend of the family so she knew nothing was gonna happen anyways. I made out with the girl for 2 consecutive slow songs, took her to the bleachers and made out for another 2 songs, got her #, found my date, and repeated the whole process again.
I did this last year, I was 16 y/o and if I can do that... you can pull the girl from science class, believe me!
TONY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HOW DO I DO THAT!?
Talk to people the week of the dance. What time does it start? What will people be wearing? What kind of music is played? Are people from other schools aloud in?
Usually dances start at 8 and end at eleven on Friday nights. Popular people wear clothes just a little nicer than what they wear to school – upper tier A+F, louder colors/combinations. DJs play whatever is top 40 with a beat. Right now its Rap or Mixed R/B. There is usually 1 slow song an hour and another slow song at the very end. Also, DJs will throw in a “good times” song, like an oldie, just for fun. Most schools allow kids with ID from other schools in.
If you have popular friends, talk them into going. If your friends will hold you down DO NOT BRING THEM. It is very easy to get rapport with GUYS at dances because they are all distracted by the girls.
Find something to wear. Make sure it fits correctly. Dont wear what everyone else is wearing – try and stand out. Its better to dress up than dress down. A dress shirt [button up shirt] with a stiff collar and nice jeans or even slacks is great. If you own a peacocking shirt – WEAR IT! Something that is so LOUD that everyone will take notice. For example, I have a black mesh shirt with pink inserts in the front. I also have a reflective red tight fitting shirt with white stripes on the sleeves that is great under backlights. DO NOT WEAR A SCRUFFY A+F POLO AND RUFFLED CARGO PANTS. DO NOT WEAR A JERSEY/JEANS 10 SIZES TOO BIG.
Use a lot of deodorant [unscented] with an informal cologne. Armani Mania is PERFECT. When you do your hair use mostly water and gel... waxes will run HORRIBLY as soon as you sweat. Make sure and have comfortable shoes on. Have as little as possible in your pockets. Wallet, keys, cell, 2 quarters and condoms. Leave one pocket for PAPER TOWELS [ 3-4 folded up to get rid of sweat when youre dancing hard with the girl from science class]. Baby powder on your ass/crotch helps control sweat.
Before you leave... put some ****ing music on! Get in the mood to dance – close the door and dance by yourself. You do not have to be a good dancer to get girls. You have to be comfortable enough with yourself to have fun dancing.
When you arrive – take advantage of the line to get in. Talk to everyone you know. Remember, cold approaches on the dance floor are HARD, so make a few approaches outside to get warmed up. If your lucky you will make a smooth approach on the way into the dance and you can just grab THAT girl and dance with her a little later.
Your social standing is at stake – so NEVER look like you are bored, not having fun, or rejected. Once you are inside find people you know... talk to them about ANYTHING. Once conversation has peaked [even with guys] exit the convo and find other people you know. You are developing connections you can use for social proof later.
Spend a few minutes in the cafe, get something to drink and be friendly with the staff. If your going to make a cold approach... youre better off making it off the dance floor – so go for it. Take a minute to recollect yourself in the bathroom, make sure ur lookin good [wipe sweat, tuck in shirt if nessesary].
Once the dance is underway and people are having fun dancing – find a circle of guys who you are particularly cool with. Its time to warm up those dancing shoes! Warm approach some toss aways... look for the closes 6.5-7.0 you know that is dancing, but not with a guy. “Heyyy, whats up!?” No matter what she says, as long as she doesnt blow you off, hold out your hand and make the “C’mere” motion as you begin to dance. If she doesnt shake her head “no” then step close and dance with her for one song. If she rejects you – man... its a ****ing 6.5-7.0, you werent gonna **** her anyways. Find another one and rock it till you get a full song of dancing in with a girl.
