Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The number one thing that changed my social and dating life.

Jesse Pinkman

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So I have received a lot of PMs asking me to share more about what has worked for me and what hasn't when it comes to women and even social life. I actually wanted to post this because in almost all male spaces whether it is red pill, manosphere, or whatever, I see very few men who are able to do this. In fact, I'd wager to say that 90% of men in these spaces will never experience dating success because they are unable to do this very thing successfully. While I don't consider myself a slayer or anything, this is what took me from borderline incel to having success with women and with social life.

Be okay and even happy with not having success with women and dating.

It's that simple.

Think about it, whenever someone tries to press you or aggressively sell you something, you want to get away from them because they are coming off as needy.

Most incels, dudes in the red pill spaces, and pickup guys come off as needy without even realizing it. Even if you are trying not to be needy, people usually sniff out your thirst and desperation. I mean these guys are claiming to be red pilled but then a week later, ask about how to approach a relationship with one girl in particular. Then you have hordes of guys crying about how miserable they are due to not having a life partner or not being married at their age because of the way society is going.

Deep down inside, all of these dudes are needy even if they outwardly claim to reject women and not need them. The amount of time and energy these guys are taking to debate gender politics and talk about how crazy women are, that's energy they are investing into hoping women want them. Deep down inside, they want female attention but are just masking it over some fake alpha persona.

However, when I stopped caring that much about women, saw everything as a game, and didn't care much for female attention; it came to me. With social life, this was even more evident. As soon as I stopped wanting to fit in and be a part of any in crowd, people came and wanted to be friends with me.

People are more likely to want you and to want to be around you when they sense that you do not want them or need their approval.

Women are more likely to go for men that aren't crazy about the idea of wanting a woman in their life.

"But Jesse you daygame bro WTF!"

Lately, I have been daygaming and to be honest, it's because it is freaking fun and freeing. It feels good and almost rebellious to go out, talk to hot women, and get the steps in. I've lost 15 lbs by all of the walking I have done and noticed that some of my wings are also cool guys I can get drinks with afterwards. If I get rejected from a woman, I laugh it off because it's just fun. I find daygame a far better use of my time than playing golf on weekends or doing boring dad hobbies. I am not attached to the outcome, it is just fun and I love sharing stories with you all when I can.

I've met amazing women through daygame and been okay with the idea of the relationship not being more than a fling. Learning daygame has also made me bolder and more confident in a lot of social interactions. If you can walk up to an attractive woman and be confident then you can be bold in most social interactions.
 

SW15

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As soon as I stopped wanting to fit in and be a part of any in crowd, people came and wanted to be friends with me.
I am a lone wolf sigma male and this hasn't happened too much with me.

Jesse you daygame bro WTF!"

Lately, I have been daygaming and to be honest, it's because it is freaking fun and freeing. It feels good and almost rebellious to go out, talk to hot women, and get the steps in. I've lost 15 lbs by all of the walking I have done and noticed that some of my wings are also cool guys I can get drinks with afterwards. If I get rejected from a woman, I laugh it off because it's just fun. I find daygame a far better use of my time than playing golf on weekends or doing boring dad hobbies. I am not attached to the outcome, it is just fun and I love sharing stories with you all when I can.

I've met amazing women through daygame and been okay with the idea of the relationship not being more than a fling. Learning daygame has also made me bolder and more confident in a lot of social interactions. If you can walk up to an attractive woman and be confident then you can be bold in most social interactions.
If you can do non-bar venue approaching, it can be the most amazing feeling in the world. There are so many great attributes in non-bar approaching. Here's what I am grateful for in non-bar approaching as a means of arranging dates

1. There's no need to stay up late
2. There's no need to drink alcohol....though you'll likely be drinking alcohol on the first date with someone you meet from a non-bar approacher
3. There's no need to play in a random co-ed sports league
4. There's no need to build a social circle and deal with social circle drama
5. There's no need to swipe and text

I agree that doing boring dad hobbies like golf sounds bad. I am a tennis player. Tennis and golf are country club sports but tennis is far more exciting and a better workout.

Jesse -- You're doing a lot of outdoor approaching, though I have read an anecdote about a coffee shop approach. Outdoor approaching is a small segment of non-bar approaching. Approaching in parks, streets, and on paths is good. You could also approach on the beach and likely do.
 

devilkingx2

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I agree overall

it's important to set realistic expectations and understand that you won't be getting laid every week or have a new girlfriend every month.

being overly negative or bitter or hateful is very likely to express itself outwardly and turn off girls. However the biggest cure for such negativity is going outside and actually interacting with humans.
 

Dr.Suave

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Last time I was single, I noticed something. The less I cared about getting the lay, girls would show more interest. Its like they can sense the thirst and that dries their puzzy. They can also sense when you are not thristy and then they are all into you.
 

corrector

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However, when I stopped caring that much about women, saw everything as a game, and didn't care much for female attention; it came to me.
Explain to us how you got to that point. You are making it sound like there is a switch you can put on or off.
 

Dr.Suave

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Explain to us how you got to that point.
I cant speak for OP. For me, I just realized dating is not efficient if girls can flake. I said f0ck this. I started triple booking and the "dates" were stuff I actually enjoyed or wanted to do regarless of company. I started focusing less on the lay on more on enjoying the actual dates, Girls sensed this and they loved it.
 

RBK

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I learned you can't make women your mission. It's almost like you have to forget about them for awhile. Whenever I am thinking too much about women or a certain girl I know I'm losing the battle. They should be the side part of your life, not the main mission.

Go to the gym, figure out a side business do SOMETHING to better yourself.

It seems women flake INSANELY more now than ever I've noticed and it's really annoying. Women wonder why they can't find a good man now.
 

corrector

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I cant speak for OP. For me, I just realized dating is not efficient if girls can flake. I said f0ck this. I started triple booking and the "dates" were stuff I actually enjoyed or wanted to do regarless of company. I started focusing less on the lay on more on enjoying the actual dates, Girls sensed this and they loved it.
The OP said he got to a point where he did not care about female attention. I just found that to be a bit disingenuous because I seriously doubt he's ever at a point where he gets zero female attention, gets an epiphany, and then decides it does not matter to him and is all of a sudden successful.

In your case, if you are triple booking company that means you are getting attention in the first place. If you are not getting any female attention, and feel hungry about that, well how are you supposed to mask that?
 

Jesse Pinkman

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Good points by everyone but I do think this deserves clarification. As much as I hate to brag, I have not had a point in my life when I have received zero female attention. The closest has been when I was living with my grandma for the summer in a small town where most women were hideous or taken. However, I came to this epiphany after I realized just how much I was social ladder climbing in NYC and how fruitless it was for me. So while I could get the attention from the odd 4 or 5 in social groups, I could never get the hot girls and game rarely worked on them.

As a result, I endured through seeing hot girls going with guys that were not me and it used to make me miserable. After all, no one really wants to bang 6s and be happy with it. I found that I was too sucked into the social games and valued women as well. Overtime, I decided to detach from the opinions people had of me and do my own thing. I tried not to fit in and I tried to be the guy that would not get involved with the in crowds as much.

Long-term, I started to see better quality of women come into my life and better quality of friends as well.
 
M

member160292

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In your case, if you are triple booking company that means you are getting attention in the first place. If you are not getting any female attention, and feel hungry about that, well how are you supposed to mask that?
It's not about pretending you're hot sh!t. It's about focusing on self-improvement and knowing women will follow.

Think of women as buyers, they want to get the best bang for their investment as possible. There's so many vendors offering the same solution at the same cost. She's looking for one that is a key differentiator, provides the highest value and future-proof. She does not want to have to go through this process again.

Now as a vendor, you and I, if we are not able to differentiate ourselves, what would we do? We would need to discount ourselves - dating down. How far down you go depends on how desperate you are for the sale. What OP is trying to get at is when you invest in your solution, you can keep the pricing the same while having the mindset that we don't want your business anyways because someone else will come along and buy it. That's having a sustainable, abundant mindset.
 
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I agree, but to reach the mindset or not caring so much, one must have women trouble in the first place. Freshman college me heard this a LOT, but I was a virgin and desperate for women, so this never helped me at all lol.

I’m also curious at what @Jesse Pinkman looks like. I’m getting an Andrew Schultz white guy type impression? Tall, slender, edgy but not overboard.
 
Last edited:

redskinsfan92

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So I have received a lot of PMs asking me to share more about what has worked for me and what hasn't when it comes to women and even social life. I actually wanted to post this because in almost all male spaces whether it is red pill, manosphere, or whatever, I see very few men who are able to do this. In fact, I'd wager to say that 90% of men in these spaces will never experience dating success because they are unable to do this very thing successfully. While I don't consider myself a slayer or anything, this is what took me from borderline incel to having success with women and with social life.

Be okay and even happy with not having success with women and dating.

It's that simple.

Think about it, whenever someone tries to press you or aggressively sell you something, you want to get away from them because they are coming off as needy.

Most incels, dudes in the red pill spaces, and pickup guys come off as needy without even realizing it. Even if you are trying not to be needy, people usually sniff out your thirst and desperation. I mean these guys are claiming to be red pilled but then a week later, ask about how to approach a relationship with one girl in particular. Then you have hordes of guys crying about how miserable they are due to not having a life partner or not being married at their age because of the way society is going.

Deep down inside, all of these dudes are needy even if they outwardly claim to reject women and not need them. The amount of time and energy these guys are taking to debate gender politics and talk about how crazy women are, that's energy they are investing into hoping women want them. Deep down inside, they want female attention but are just masking it over some fake alpha persona.

However, when I stopped caring that much about women, saw everything as a game, and didn't care much for female attention; it came to me. With social life, this was even more evident. As soon as I stopped wanting to fit in and be a part of any in crowd, people came and wanted to be friends with me.

People are more likely to want you and to want to be around you when they sense that you do not want them or need their approval.

Women are more likely to go for men that aren't crazy about the idea of wanting a woman in their life.

"But Jesse you daygame bro WTF!"

Lately, I have been daygaming and to be honest, it's because it is freaking fun and freeing. It feels good and almost rebellious to go out, talk to hot women, and get the steps in. I've lost 15 lbs by all of the walking I have done and noticed that some of my wings are also cool guys I can get drinks with afterwards. If I get rejected from a woman, I laugh it off because it's just fun. I find daygame a far better use of my time than playing golf on weekends or doing boring dad hobbies. I am not attached to the outcome, it is just fun and I love sharing stories with you all when I can.

I've met amazing women through daygame and been okay with the idea of the relationship not being more than a fling. Learning daygame has also made me bolder and more confident in a lot of social interactions. If you can walk up to an attractive woman and be confident then you can be bold in most social interactions.
The "cook" didn't change your life?
 

SW15

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Think of women as buyers, they want to get the best bang for their investment as possible. There's so many vendors offering the same solution at the same cost. She's looking for one that is a key differentiator, provides the highest value and future-proof. She does not want to have to go through this process again.

Now as a vendor, you and I, if we are not able to differentiate ourselves, what would we do? We would need to discount ourselves - dating down. How far down you go depends on how desperate you are for the sale.
What I see from most men is that they are willing to drop the price far enough to get the sale.
 
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