But I am a ****ing moron. I'm a failure at girls. For all of the success I've had since coming here, for all of the confidence and independence I've found since coming here, I am a ****ing ***** when it ****ing counts. Listen to this story and groan aloud boys - you won't often hear one this bad.
I went to a party tonight. Most of the people there were a year younger than me, and it was an alcohol free party, but I brought some peach schnapps in my coat for myself. I have a friend, a senior, whose sister (Jane) had been flirtatious with me every few weeks since...October or so. We first met when I was talking to her friend, and Jane runs up and loudly whispers "introduce me!" Why didn't I take the opportunity then? I hadn't yet found this site and didn't know how to go about it. I was and still am a ****ing loser.
Anyway, tonight, I just had a feeling. I knew something would happen with Jane. Have you ever had that feeling? You're hte king, you're number one, and nothing can go wrong.
As soon as I walked in I purposely didn't say hi to her. I greeted all of my other friends, and after a couple of minutes she said hi to me. I said hi back, and left it at that. She comes by a few minutes later, and says "Matt, I know my sister told you that I'm going to marry Mary (her best friend) instead of you, but that's no true. I want to give this relationship a shot." It's a joke that her sister has with me - she wants me to marry Jane. She puts her arm around me and I respond in kind, and we're flirting. I didn't even have a chance to initiate kino she was so into it.
I keep my distance from her for the next hour and a half or so. I'm partly testing her interest level, and this was my first mistake. It was ****ing obvious from the first encounter that she's into me and wants to hook up - WHY THE **** didn't I do anything then? I fear rejection - I'm not often rejected, but the fear of it is great enough that it keeps me from siezing the moment much of the time.
30 minutes after I enter, somebody has busted out some edible body paint. Jane comes up to me, I ask what's on her arm, and she says "body paint. it tastes good. want to lick it?" So, I do. I then have my friend write "suck here" on my neck in the body paint, with an arrow pointing to a spot. Guess who gives me a huge ass hickey that's going to last for at least a week? Jane came up, and just said "Matt, come here." And sucked away. And away. And away.
She keeps this up the entire night. She shows up where I am a little while after I arrive there. At one point she's talking to her friend about this burrito place, which I tell her sucks. She says "where do you like to go?" I respond with "baja fresh." She then asks me to take her to baja fresh. ASKS me. I say fine, we'll go next weekend. At this point I number closed, right? NO. WHAT THE ****. NO, I didn't. I left to talk to some other friends.
Eventually something's changed. I was flaking on her. My fear of showing interest kept me from showing any, and at some point she just...stops trying. I can't blame her. When I left she was cozy on the couch with a friend of mine. No offense to him, but I'm 90% sure they won't do anything. He had his arm sort of around her, but her body language was off. Towards the end one of the girls running the party comes up and says "matt, you should return the favor to Jane." I told her that Jane wouldn't let me give her a hickey - she was already in trouble for going to a party that got busted by the po-po. To which the girl replies "so give her a hickey where her parents won't see her." Then winks. At this point I nearly kick myself. Christ.
To some extent I think my own subconscious was working against me - I'm friends with Jane's sister, and I like her a lot. I kind of feel like I shouldn't do anything with Jane until I get her sister's blessing, as it were. It always annoyed me when my friends would develop crushes on my brother.
Yell at me. Call me a *****. SCREAM at me. It's what I need. This isn't a thread asking for advice - this is a thread where I'm telling you guys, DON'T be afraid to sieze the moment. What did I do? nothing. What did I get? nothing. Take control of the situation boys.
I kind of feel like I still have a chance with Jane - it was 4 or 5 months ago when she first showed interest, and she still was showing it tonight. I feel like I NEED to number close monday. ****ing a. Somebody yell at me.
I went to a party tonight. Most of the people there were a year younger than me, and it was an alcohol free party, but I brought some peach schnapps in my coat for myself. I have a friend, a senior, whose sister (Jane) had been flirtatious with me every few weeks since...October or so. We first met when I was talking to her friend, and Jane runs up and loudly whispers "introduce me!" Why didn't I take the opportunity then? I hadn't yet found this site and didn't know how to go about it. I was and still am a ****ing loser.
Anyway, tonight, I just had a feeling. I knew something would happen with Jane. Have you ever had that feeling? You're hte king, you're number one, and nothing can go wrong.
As soon as I walked in I purposely didn't say hi to her. I greeted all of my other friends, and after a couple of minutes she said hi to me. I said hi back, and left it at that. She comes by a few minutes later, and says "Matt, I know my sister told you that I'm going to marry Mary (her best friend) instead of you, but that's no true. I want to give this relationship a shot." It's a joke that her sister has with me - she wants me to marry Jane. She puts her arm around me and I respond in kind, and we're flirting. I didn't even have a chance to initiate kino she was so into it.
I keep my distance from her for the next hour and a half or so. I'm partly testing her interest level, and this was my first mistake. It was ****ing obvious from the first encounter that she's into me and wants to hook up - WHY THE **** didn't I do anything then? I fear rejection - I'm not often rejected, but the fear of it is great enough that it keeps me from siezing the moment much of the time.
30 minutes after I enter, somebody has busted out some edible body paint. Jane comes up to me, I ask what's on her arm, and she says "body paint. it tastes good. want to lick it?" So, I do. I then have my friend write "suck here" on my neck in the body paint, with an arrow pointing to a spot. Guess who gives me a huge ass hickey that's going to last for at least a week? Jane came up, and just said "Matt, come here." And sucked away. And away. And away.
She keeps this up the entire night. She shows up where I am a little while after I arrive there. At one point she's talking to her friend about this burrito place, which I tell her sucks. She says "where do you like to go?" I respond with "baja fresh." She then asks me to take her to baja fresh. ASKS me. I say fine, we'll go next weekend. At this point I number closed, right? NO. WHAT THE ****. NO, I didn't. I left to talk to some other friends.
Eventually something's changed. I was flaking on her. My fear of showing interest kept me from showing any, and at some point she just...stops trying. I can't blame her. When I left she was cozy on the couch with a friend of mine. No offense to him, but I'm 90% sure they won't do anything. He had his arm sort of around her, but her body language was off. Towards the end one of the girls running the party comes up and says "matt, you should return the favor to Jane." I told her that Jane wouldn't let me give her a hickey - she was already in trouble for going to a party that got busted by the po-po. To which the girl replies "so give her a hickey where her parents won't see her." Then winks. At this point I nearly kick myself. Christ.
To some extent I think my own subconscious was working against me - I'm friends with Jane's sister, and I like her a lot. I kind of feel like I shouldn't do anything with Jane until I get her sister's blessing, as it were. It always annoyed me when my friends would develop crushes on my brother.
Yell at me. Call me a *****. SCREAM at me. It's what I need. This isn't a thread asking for advice - this is a thread where I'm telling you guys, DON'T be afraid to sieze the moment. What did I do? nothing. What did I get? nothing. Take control of the situation boys.
I kind of feel like I still have a chance with Jane - it was 4 or 5 months ago when she first showed interest, and she still was showing it tonight. I feel like I NEED to number close monday. ****ing a. Somebody yell at me.
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I know alot of idiots that do stuff like that. They're just trying to be funny and dont understand that it makes things more awkward for you.