"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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The night started out so well...FVCKING YELL AT ME

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Porky

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PORKY - the DJ who doesn't like to hook up with girls - I'm going to help a soory-ass so-called DJ out!
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Oh ho! A hit under the belt! well done.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Porky

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Originally posted by KbTo
Don't see it as a failure, see it like an experience
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that is my philosophy with everything, yes. It was one of those situations where I greatly regretted my actions, but given the opportunity I would not have changed what I did. I spoke tot he sister today, she's fine with whatever, so it turns out I could have hooked up guilt free.
 
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