The NEXTING MYTH

[guru1000]

Bump for all the new AFC's. Learn VALUE and Self Respect.

 

[Solomon]

It's simple economics: if a stock is not producing adequate returns in spite of your investment, you drop it.

All you gotta do is change a few words in the above sentence: if a girl is not producing adequate results in spite of your time commitment, you drop her.

The problem is, most guys see value where there is none, and thus continue to waste time on a girl who has no hope of ever giving the guy what he wants.

BINGO!!!

If I make plans with a woman, and she flakes or disrespects me, I may give her another chance if she apologizes(the takeaway) but if she does it again NEXT

When i Next chicks I don't say "biatch, you out of my life" I simply stop calling and move on, even when it's cow-grazing season (that means slow) I know I will meet another woman, abundance even in a rescission is around me of women!!!

I do agree this site keeps it black and white with Nexting or "charging a chick to the game", We don't discuss The Takeaway on this forum enough.

For example

I went on a date with this hot blond, it didn't go well on both ends. Mentally I moved on giving her "The takeaway" if she contacted me again, great, I'll readjust my self and game accordingly if not, keep moving.

Guys forget that hot women, next guys all the time. I've had women next me cause of a "dirty joke" or I didn't say something they liked. Some women are fickle on how they "next" just as some men here. If you have standards (whatever they may be) and a woman doesn't meet them

NEXT

 

[guru1000]

Funny, I created this thread 2.5 years ago. At the time, marriage was not even a goal; I am married today. Rereading the original post and reflecting, I certainly NEXTed countless number of women prior to meeting my wife. For her to have prompted me for marriage, she must have proved to be leagues beyond the norm.

 

[HalfAddict]

I bet you can't show me one story where some guy got flaked on and his gut yelled next and he didn't and there was success to be had with that woman.

 

[Jitterbug]

Funny, I created this thread 2.5 years ago. At the time, marriage was not even a goal; I am married today. Rereading the original post and reflecting, I certainly NEXTed countless number of women prior to meeting my wife. For her to have prompted me for marriage, she must have proved to be leagues beyond the norm.

If you don't mind sharing how your wife passed your qualifying process for marriage, that'd be great.

 

[guru1000]

Jitter,

A woman needs to be compatible with respect to her values, reasoning and short term/long term goals. I met my wife while I was rebuilding my life for a third time, and at the time, had no intentions to marry until my ship was in order. As contrary is this may appear to my statement of a man’s value (ladder theory), she knew my value not based on tangible assets, but my character. Character in the sense of – I DO WHAT I SAY I WILL and I would “WILL” success back into my life. This, in and of itself, was an admirable trait in a woman knowing in the future if I will need to rebuild a fourth time, I can maintain a respectable level of trust in her thinking.

I mentioned once in a previous thread to look at a woman’s parents and observe her upbringing. My wife has a genuine respect for the complementary gender-specific roles of a marriage due to her upbringing. She understands her position as a woman, and at the same time respects my role. Complementary gender roles cannot be negotiated. Either the understanding is inherently present or it will never be; you cannot train woman to respect your MANhood.

I waited longer than average prior to our first intimate encounter, certainly not as a result of interest level. I said a numerous amount of times, be cautious of one-nighters. There is a fine line between a woman having high interest in you, and a woman possessing values and self-respect.

In the end, our short and long term plans were congruent. There was no controversy in what it to be expected moving forward. The aforementioned appears to be a list simple enough to request for, but extremely difficult to find in one woman who also brings good looks to the table.

If you are looking for a bucket list; here it goes in appropriate sequence:

• High interest in you
• Attractive
• Upbringing (Complementary roles clearly understood)
• Self-Respect
• Congruent Goals

Samspade, great to hear brother; keep us posted!

 

[jophil28]

If you are looking for a bucket list; here it goes in appropriate sequence:

• High interest in you
• Attractive
• Upbringing (Complementary roles clearly understood)
• Self-Respect
• Congruent Goals

This ^^ advice is as good as it gets, men.

 

[Jitterbug]

Thank you, guru. That is a great post.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Guru,
"If you have ever been to the the UK, you will have noticed you drive on the left hand side of the road. This feeling is very uncomfortable. Your GUT screams NO! But it is the correct way to drive there.
What you are feeling when you go against you GUT is COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.
Cognitive dissonance is a psychological state that describes the uncomfortable feeling between what one holds to be true and what one knows to be true. This feeling is SHATTERING because it is an instant PARADIGM SHIFT.
When career criminals are let out of prison(if they are let out), they go trough a vigorous 500 hour program to help UNTEACH thier GUT. Their GUT believes for example dealing drugs is normal.
You would be surprised how wrong the GUT may be sometimes.
This is why you should never follow the GUT 100%. You may listen to it, but do not put it's weight in GOLD."

Verily you are a Guru,that is one wonderful analogy....I felt this way when I first dated Asian Girls.

 

[jophil28]

Dear Guru,
"If you have ever been to the the UK, you will have noticed you drive on the left hand side of the road. This feeling is very uncomfortable. Your GUT screams NO! But it is the correct way to drive there.
What you are feeling when you go against you GUT is COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.
Cognitive dissonance is a psychological state that describes the uncomfortable feeling between what one holds to be true and what one knows to be true. This feeling is SHATTERING because it is an instant PARADIGM SHIFT.
When career criminals are let out of prison(if they are let out), they go trough a vigorous 500 hour program to help UNTEACH thier GUT. Their GUT believes for example dealing drugs is normal.
You would be surprised how wrong the GUT may be sometimes.
This is why you should never follow the GUT 100%. You may listen to it, but do not put it's weight in GOLD."

Verily you are a Guru,that is one wonderful analogy....I felt this way when I first dated Asian Girls.

Scara, why did you feel that way. Do Asian chicks drive on the wrong side of the road ? :crackup:

 

[Borknagar]

I next quite often, but it also depends on how many women you have to choose over.

Those of us in a situation where it's Friday night and you got 6 chicks texting you wondering what you're doing, then nexting a chick is EASY and no big deal, you'll soon forget their name once their out of your cell.

Nexting is probably harder for the type of dude who goes for one girl at a time(which I would NEVER recommend, it's very afc unless the one girl is a sure thing and you're looking long term). like my former self

 

[HalfAddict]

Im still waiting to hear that story about the comeback kid who turned a flake into a good relationship.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

This was a very insightful thread, I'm glad this was brought back up and is definitely eye opening. There are lots that I would like to quote, but rather I'd like to highlight some concepts that stuck with me the most:

1. AFC mentality makes it very hard to NEXT even when we know that it is right. I KNEW the girl I was with had PROBLEMS. I KNEW she WAS NOT MEETING MY NEEDS. Why did I not next? FEAR! PvSSY! I was disarmed by fear, would I meet a woman with such shared interests again? Will I meet a chick who is so damned sexy again? These things held me back -- tied me down -- and slowly my balls disappeared and what remained was a hollow sort of shell of what was once me, of what attracted her to me to begin with...I COULD NOT LET GO...I was addicted.

And that is probably about 85%-90% of the cases. People are addicted to a sh!tty relationship.

Now NEXTING can be cold also -- there is some truth in allowing leeway in some regards to people. For example, my mother or brother has definitely pissed me off in my life, these are FAMILY. I FORGIVE. Surely I have pissed them off also. There is some necessary degree of UNDERSTANDING in certain relationship roles -- FAMILY for instance is BLOOD.

But a woman...this is a CHOICE...our friends are CHOICES...if our CHOICE is not meeting our needs, we ought to make a new CHOICE...

But this can only be done with great self-resolve, great self-confidence, self-assurance...if you believe a woman is going to make you happy...well...you'll learn the hard way like I have...at the end of the day, the more you place your happiness outside of yourself the more you'll steadily take away from you. And soon you'll have nothing.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Guru,
My Goodness such an Old Chestnut...2007!...And now just as then it all boils down to Paretos Social ratio 20/80...The top 20% get 80% of the goodies...Depending which side of the bed I get up on I feel either at the bottom end of one or the top end of the other...If like the majority you are in the 80% of the great unwashed then I caution completely cutting off contact by cold nexting,life is a revolving theatre and down the line you might want to jump on board again.

 

[Glassguy]

In Sosuave, there are 2 types of men here. Those who believe in "Nexting" and those who Don't (believing in self improvement and controlled discipline).

Not necessarily true at all.

I have nexted women, I have laid low and some come back around, etc. It depends on the woman's ACTIONS.
Disrespect for me and my time- NEXT.

And by next, its simply silence and distance......or better yet, silence and disappearance. There is no need to verbally tell a woman that you are nexting her. Just disappear.

There is a lot of gray area and self improvement should be a priority for all men who arent lazy. Nexting (S&D) should also be a priority for all men to be able to do naturally, to all people who disrespect them or their time.