"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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The new magic pill...

seek&destroy

Don Juan
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Lately I have come to realize that getting that girl you really want is no different than getting a ticket for a nearly sold out concert/show. If you don't act soon, something just might stop you from achieving your goal.

But my problem is this...

Even though I fully realize this message, I still can't bring myself to ak her out. She seems like the nice type of girls...always quiet and reserved, although she can be explicit when she wants to.

And if I was to ask her, what would be better???

A) Asking her to hang out with me and some of my best buds

OR

B) Asking her out on a date
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Max Power

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More info, please.

Who is this girl? How do you know her? How often do you see her?
 

seek&destroy

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I see her at work pretty much evry fvcking day lol. And we do talk to eachoteher pretty often. I've thrown in a bit of KINO on her, and she smiled back and got a little more energetic while saying bye to me cause I had to leave early.
 

wjh

Master Don Juan
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B. would be a better option

she doesn't know your friends and because you've been seemingly weak with your approach she might be more interested in one them...

do something casual and try to get her to tell you more about herself... ask a lot of open-ended questions and get the conversation flowing and look for IOI. end it on a good note.

note: if you give a **** about your job, read and memorize your hostile work environment sexual harassment policy. you can lose your job if there is a zero-tolerance policy in effect.
 

KarmaSutra

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I'm going to help you for two reasons:

1. You're a young brother in need of direction.

2. You're a Tool fan.

You need to first get the dreaded word "date" out of your vocabulary. It's a misnomer and will do absolutely nothing but get your mind focused on the event rather than allowing the girl to enjoy you.

This is Karmic law #7: Whenever you are out having a fun time with a girl for the first time NEVER spend more than $20.

No matter what. Coffee and a slice of pumpkin cheesecake for both of you will not burden your wallet. If she says it's not good enough or some other dumb sh!t, you leave the b!tch right there and go somewhere else because she is NOT interested in you, you dig? She is vying for attention from something else; your pocket.

Next, listen to more Tool.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Max Power

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Are you worried she's going to say no if you go direct because she's a "nice type of girl?"

Or are you not sure you have not built up enough attraction?

If you want to build more attraction arrange some kind of post work get together with a few people from where you work, not your buddies. If she's really interested she'll go.

Sit next to her and have fun and try to isolate her at some point in the night either there or via a venue change.
 

seek&destroy

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I actually don't give a fvck about my job...it's just grocery store! But still...you're right about her being interestd in one of my buddies...I'm actually failrly sure she is interested in my best friend...this is why I have to make a move today.
 

seek&destroy

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Not like my friend will go for her, he knows I like her already. He's told me that she's mine for the taking.
 

sadburger

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If you are interested in this girl and want to date her, then ask her on a date. Too many times men will sit at the wayside while a girl they are interested in goes out with other MEN.

Approach her with confidence, get some rapport going, and then ask her out. "We should get together outside of work sometime. Give me your number and I'll give you a call and set something up." No games, she is aware of your intentions, and by doing so you have told her that you find her interesting enough to see on a real, outside of work basis.
 

penkitten

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KarmaSutra said:
I'm going to help you for two reasons:

1. You're a young brother in need of direction.

2. You're a Tool fan.

You need to first get the dreaded word "date" out of your vocabulary. It's a misnomer and will do absolutely nothing but get your mind focused on the event rather than allowing the girl to enjoy you.

This is Karmic law #7: Whenever you are out having a fun time with a girl for the first time NEVER spend more than $20.

No matter what. Coffee and a slice of pumpkin cheesecake for both of you will not burden your wallet. If she says it's not good enough or some other dumb sh!t, you leave the b!tch right there and go somewhere else because she is NOT interested in you, you dig? She is vying for attention from something else; your pocket.

Next, listen to more Tool.
#3 find a band playing somewhere and invite her to that by saying "wanna go pal around with me in a mosh pit"? if she says yes, then you might have a blast with her instead of getting all "date-like".
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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