The Nastiest Big New DJ at work

[Mr.Hash wid da Stash]

Hey people,
So there is this new guy at work who loves making fun of his male co-workers in front of the female staff. For example, I've been sick for the last week throwing up buckets of spew and sh!tting out diahreaha like there's no tomorrow for the last week. All this leaving me pretty gaunt and pale looking when I returned to work today after 1 week. Anyway as I was waiting to sign off this dude comes up to me and says "Michael Jackson, you look a little more pale then usual you ugly bastard..." He's all smiles while taking the piss outta me. Also the girl of my dreams(a co-worker) is looking at me with one of those 'aren't-you-going-to-stand-up-for-yourself?' looks.

I didn't even shoot back at the pr!ck. Just stood there and looked at him with a smile. The thing is this dude is 6'4" and BUILT like a BRICK HOUSE. He has arms like fvcken tree trunks and is nasty looking as hell. Which is why I didn't wanna say anything back coz he is a DJ and could shoot me down in front of the ladies worse and/or beat the living sh!t outta me after work... Also I heard if you say things back it means that what they're saying is getting to you. Which it is.

I mean what p!sses me off the most about this dude is how he puts dudes down infront of the chicks just to get a few laughs from them.. He's like the grown man version of a highschool bully you could say.

Anyway, what the hell should I do next time he tries some sh!t like that with me in front of the other staff? Keep on ignoring this kunt or what?

 

[ManOMan]

I would definitely shoot back with something about his muscle/lack of brains, I seriously doubt he is going to fight you after work, he could get fired.

I would just be playful with him, but not insulting, you got to stand up for yourself.

If you are worried about being left speechless, have a few pokes already memorized in your head, and have them ready for when he strikes again.

 

[Mr.Hash wid da Stash]

Thanks ManOMan,
The thing is I have a few comebacks in mind, just to chicken sh!t to say them. The thing is if I say some comebacks, doesn't it look like this d!ck is getting to me(he is) I don't want to look like this dude is annoying me infront of the ladies.

I know he is dyslexic.... He writes **** like "I hav to go hom erly, I fell sik today" but if I make fun outta his writing impairments he may very well get physical with me... So what when I "jokingly" make fun of this dude just do it with a smile? I can't say he's ugly.... chicks at work cream their panties for this guy...

 

[CLOONEY]

Just give him some hash from your stash, there wont be a problem after that...................

seriously, u need to stand up for yourself. U just gotta be quick on your feet, I would probably go with the too much brawn and no brain insults. He dont sound like a DJ to me, he is just a playground bully. Dont take sh*t from anyone EVER!! U just cant take his insults seriously, if you do you will look like the looser.

Or possibly just give him the "grow up" line. How can he respond to that? Whatever you do, just be confident about it, if you hesitate the "girl of your dreams" will see it. And if shes the girl of your dreams, why not get her number, are you afraid of being rejected?

 

[coldcoal]

First off, it's not personal for him. You're just a readily available prop in ths guy's "technique" with women. So don't put it on a personal level. Besides, he's not that funny...

All you need to do is secure the fact that you are not a choice prop that will help him serve his means. Whatever he dishes out to you should be your cue to openly flirt with the nearby women. Run with what he gives you.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Make sure your comeback to him is witty and intelligent. People that know me also knows that going into a wordbanter with me is not the most sane thing todo. With people like this you need to make them feel inferior intellectually. Just smack his remarks back in a way that makes him seem like a less intelligent, adolescent bytch. But also make sure the remark is krass enough and eloquent enough to put him so offbase he isn't able to return it.

 

[ShortTimer]

Talk to your manager about him, or go to HR. My only question is: where do you work where the kinds of things he says hasn't gotten him fired? I don't know where you work but most modern office places (execpt in the gov) won't tollerate the kind of behavior you're describing. If you do go to your manager / HR let them know he's creating a "hostle work environment" and press the issue.

 

[squirrels]

You've got two choices...

-Throw a friendly insult back his way...pretend the two of you are buddies exchanging friendly jabs. It may be what he's doing.

-Ignore him completely...just smile and go on doing what you were doing.

And if he gets physical with you, get physical with him back. Even tough guys have knees.

How old are you, anyway?

 

[TheLadiesMan]

I would have said.... one of the followings....

"Dude, you are stale... MJ?.... that's teh best you can do? I am sick as a dog, and I ain't got time for you, so go away... I'll play with you later or something...."

or...

"Hey man, that problem that you had, did you go to the doctor and get that sh*t clearded up, like I told you to?"

 

[FreeStyleZ]

This guy isnt no DJ... a DJ doesnt have to put down others to make himself appear more attractive to the ladies.

Next time just ask this ******* how is steroid addiction is working out.

 

[ManOMan]

I usually like this one , "ohh, some lady called for you, she said something about the test came back positive and to call her immediately"

 

[Walden]

Best comeback ever is a dismissive "Blow me".

 

[RedJuan]

reply to big A$$HOLE:

Should you be sharing your Micheal Jackson sex fantasy in front of the ladies???


or something like that!!

 

[legolas]

Originally posted by Mr.Hash wid da Stash
Also I heard if you say things back it means that what they're saying is getting to you.

BULLSH1T!!!!!

That is pure and utter bullsh1t.

If there's one lesson I've learned, is that is totally opposite. If you don't stand up for yourself, they will walk even further on you.

There are two ways to deal with this. if someone is making fun of you, the very first time you hear it, you tell them!! You say "Hey you're pissing me off" or you go talk to them in priivate and say "Listen buddy, I didn't appreciate you calling me 'michael jackson' back there.. I've been sick for a week and I wouldn't wish it to my worst enemy, so I'd apreciate it if you showed some respect."

Another thing I like to do is point a finger at them, look at them half-seriosly and say "Hey it's not funny!!"

And yet another thing to do is to go along with the joke.

Him "Hey MJ looking paler today aren't you?"
You: "Buddy, you can't even wish to have half the money I have" and smile

Never ever take any verbal abuse of any kind. I've been bullied a lot in HS simply because I just didn't stand up for myself.