The MySpace Girl

[alphawolfx]

first of all... I am an attention *****.

read my f.ucking posts, you a.ssholes. i have some long a.ss FR's for you all to learn from, and they're entertaing... so read them f.uckers...

okay, met this girl on myspace 2 days ago.... basically left a comment under her picture that said "You're a pretty girl. I like you."
she instantly JUMPED on this. and on a scale of 1-10, i don't know people look different in person than on pictures, but on my scale of 0-1... well, she seems to be a 1
she IM'ed me and then told me she had to go to class, and would catch me later

here's the conversation... any suggestions? what i did right or wrong?

Shortie: heeey wats up
Alpha Wolf X10: chillin like bob dylan
Alpha Wolf X10: fixing my cell phone actually
Shortie: lol fun stuff
Alpha Wolf X10: what class did you have
Shortie: math... had to take a test
Shortie: i think i did so baddd
Shortie: i missed that last 2 days or something lol that cant be good
Alpha Wolf X10: oh ****
Alpha Wolf X10: that sucks
Alpha Wolf X10: ur at MDC or FIU
Shortie: mdc
Shortie: i hate it
Shortie: i cant wait to move to orlando
Alpha Wolf X10: gonna go to UCF?
Shortie: yesssssa
Shortie: wat do u do?
Alpha Wolf X10: labor import and export
Alpha Wolf X10: find cheap labor for companies in homestead
Shortie: that's gotta be exciting huh...
Alpha Wolf X10: you don't have to pay non-citizens minimum wage
Alpha Wolf X10: so it's kind of like slave trading
Shortie: wat?
Shortie: r u serious?
Shortie: wat do u get paid?
Alpha Wolf X10: i'm commissioned off of how many people i get
Shortie: oh
Alpha Wolf X10: i have friends in other countries
Alpha Wolf X10: who send their friends over to the u.s.
Alpha Wolf X10: and until they get citizenship
Alpha Wolf X10: they work for me
Shortie: wow
Alpha Wolf X10: or whatever company
Shortie: so your like, top ****
Alpha Wolf X10: for like $15 a day
Shortie: wow
Alpha Wolf X10: jenna...
Alpha Wolf X10: ...i'm ****ing with you
Shortie: ohhh man i dont even know your name
Shortie: but
Shortie: if i did
Shortie: i'd say **** you're an *******
Alpha Wolf X10: hahahah i can't believe you fell for that
Shortie: well
Shortie: wat the fukkk
Shortie: how am i supposed to know ur not some like immigrant trader..?
Alpha Wolf X10: i am laughing my ass off over here
Shortie: grr
Alpha Wolf X10: i don't know, i made up all that ****
Shortie: lol crazy kid
Alpha Wolf X10: sounds realistic tho
Shortie: u suckkk
Shortie: kinda yeh
Shortie: it does
Shortie: wats your name!
Alpha Wolf X10: Theron
Shortie: theron...like there on
Shortie: oh
Shortie: thee ear on
Alpha Wolf X10: no... Theron like Theron fool
Shortie: lol waat
Shortie: ur crazy- watever
Alpha Wolf X10: i'm crazy?
Alpha Wolf X10: you're the one who called me stoned
Shortie: yess
Shortie: YOU ARE
Alpha Wolf X10: no... haven't been stoned for like over a year
Alpha Wolf X10: when was the last time you got stoned, chica
Shortie: um
Shortie: 3 hours ago?
Alpha Wolf X10: hahaha
Alpha Wolf X10: i used to smoke before my drama class in mdc
Shortie: lol..yeh
Shortie: it was fun
Alpha Wolf X10: wait a minute
Shortie: ?
Alpha Wolf X10: 3 hours ago you were about to leave for class....
Alpha Wolf X10: hahahhhaa
Alpha Wolf X10: you went to class stoned
Shortie: lol
Shortie: yeh
Shortie: it was fun
Shortie: yeh
Alpha Wolf X10: so what do you do for fun?
Alpha Wolf X10: .. besides smoke
Shortie: haha i can function very well high
Shortie: um
Shortie: i plead the 5th
Shortie: lol how did u know
Alpha Wolf X10: hey, the 5th only works in court
Alpha Wolf X10: so TALK, woman!
Shortie: well
Shortie: i like to...
Shortie: drink n smoke... n do it? hehe lol no i really just work and go to school
Shortie: all day
Shortie: everyday
Alpha Wolf X10: sounds boring... totally unlike you
Alpha Wolf X10: you need to quit school
Alpha Wolf X10: quit your job
Alpha Wolf X10: and lay around in a hammock on an island somewhere
Alpha Wolf X10: smoke, drink, and do it all day long
Alpha Wolf X10: and occasionally go on the internet
Shortie: lol
Shortie: where do u live?
Shortie: do u do anything?
Alpha Wolf X10: Miami
Shortie3286: are you totally loaded or soemthing?
Alpha Wolf X10: besides slave trade... yeah i work and go to school
Shortie: lol
Alpha Wolf X10: not loaded yet
Shortie: *immigrant trade
Shortie: yet haha its coming yeh me too
Alpha Wolf X10: what do you wanna do
Shortie: in all reality
Shortie: i'm going to finish school get my masters for psychology... i wnana get married and have kids and be a stay at home mom, i don't like to work
Shortie: i'd rather clean and cook and do girlie things lol
Alpha Wolf X10: my kind of girl
Alpha Wolf X10: you don't see that a lot nowadays
Shortie: haha really?
Shortie: yeh i know
Alpha Wolf X10: either the girls want to work or do NOTHING at all
Shortie: i mean of course i'll have my degree to fall back on in case of anything
Shortie: but
Alpha Wolf X10: i say one person has to be at home at lest, for the kids, for the house, etc. - and THAT's a job
Shortie: exactly
Alpha Wolf X10: i wish we could all be native americans
Alpha Wolf X10: so the men could hunt
Alpha Wolf X10: and the women could cook
Shortie: lol
Shortie: i like to cook
Shortie: it's fun
Shortie: if i dont **** it up
Alpha Wolf X10: what can you cook?
Alpha Wolf X10: pollo fricasse?
Shortie: come again? english this time
Alpha Wolf X10: i don't know what it is in english - fricasseed chicken?
Alpha Wolf X10: i've only ever heard it by it's spanish name
Shortie: i can cook chicken
Shortie: hehe i know that
Alpha Wolf X10: what's the best thing you make
Shortie: mm probably chicken with anythign
Shortie: i can make tacos too
Shortie: and order food, im good at that hehe
Alpha Wolf X10: hahaha
Shortie: i CANT cook breakfast- im breakfast illiterate
Alpha Wolf X10: breakfast = denny's
Shortie: fer sure!!!!
Shortie: or wagons west... mm
Shortie: im so hungryyyy
Shortie: i wanna eat now
Shortie: now nownow
Alpha Wolf X10: i'm abotu to go make some sloppy joes
Alpha Wolf X10: you got the munchies
Shortie: lol
Shortie: no i got hunger pains
Alpha Wolf X10: aw... you poor girl
Shortie: i know
Shortie: *sniff sniff*
Alpha Wolf X10: here, let daddy make you some food and tuck you in
Alpha Wolf X10: you want some soup?
Shortie: hehe yeah
Shortie: actually
Shortie: no
Shortie: i want a big fat meal damnit
Shortie: like an 8 course.. could be coarse... meal
Alpha Wolf X10: damn girl
Shortie: haha
Shortie: eyh
Shortie: mmm fattening stuff lollll i love eating it's awesome
Alpha Wolf X10: hey now, don't get fat on me
Shortie: na
Shortie: wont happen
Alpha Wolf X10: why not
Shortie: wont let myself..
Shortie: cuz i would never wanna be fat
Shortie: i like being skinny
Shortie: i'm not like perfect, but ya know i'm skinny..
Shortie: still hot
Alpha Wolf X10: i can see that
Shortie: aw thanks hun
Shortie: so someone actually has a serious side? lol didnt know you had one
Alpha Wolf X10: har har har
Alpha Wolf X10: funny girl
Shortie: hehe
Shortie: i know.
Alpha Wolf X10: one of these days you're gonna have to cook for me
Alpha Wolf X10: i like pasta
Shortie: i love pasta
Alpha Wolf X10: ooh good... what past can you cook
Alpha Wolf X10: pasta*
Shortie: everything
Shortie: well
Shortie: kinda
Shortie: not manicotti..
Alpha Wolf X10: nah i don't like manicotti anyways
Alpha Wolf X10: penne is aight
Alpha Wolf X10: like angel hair
Alpha Wolf X10: fettuchini
Shortie: mm yeh i like that stuff
Shortie:
Alpha Wolf X10:
Alpha Wolf X10: you sound fun
Alpha Wolf X10: the next time i smoke, i'll smoke with you
Shortie: promise
Shortie: oh
Shortie: I AM FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Shortie:
Alpha Wolf X10: dammit your buddy icon keeps flirting with me
Shortie: it might like you.
Shortie: i duno it kinda has a mind of its own
Shortie: i told ya i keep my speakers down
Alpha Wolf X10: i dunno... she's kind of cute
Shortie: hhaha i thought she was annoying..?
Alpha Wolf X10: annoying personality
Alpha Wolf X10: cute face
Shortie: haha yeah it is
Shortie:
Shortie: anyways hun, i'm outta here gotta get my passport picture taken..
Shortie: talk to ya later xoxo
Alpha Wolf X10: l8r

 

[alphawolfx]

AND TODAY'S CONVO _ THE LESSON HERE IS PERSISTENCE

after a ****load of persistance, i got that number, BOO YA!

Shortie: hellooo my rich little friend
Alpha Wolf X10: hey
Shortie: wats up hun
Alpha Wolf X10: in honor of my feelings for you.... i send you this link, a true expression of my deep deep feelings
Alpha Wolf X10: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bang.php
Shortie: oh great, lol i'm scared. hold on i'll look at it in a few.
Alpha Wolf X10: i am such a romantic, i hope you're impressed
Shortie: lmao
Shortie: omggg
Shortie: you are so crazy child.
Alpha Wolf X10: who you callin child, ur 18 over there sweetheart
Shortie: so
Shortie: blah
Alpha Wolf X10: so what's up
Shortie: **** u
Shortie: nuttin left work early, i'm sick
Alpha Wolf X10: aw poor baby
Shortie: i know and i gotta work the next 3 days grrr
Alpha Wolf X10: jesus
Alpha Wolf X10: where do you work
Shortie: gardners market
Shortie: ugh
Shortie: i hate it.
Alpha Wolf X10: oh i think i've passed by there
Shortie: i HATEEE working... house wife house wife house wife
Alpha Wolf X10: on the beach?
Alpha Wolf X10: house wife is still working
Shortie: no no, it's on 124 st and US1... it's in pinecrest
Alpha Wolf X10: ah
Shortie: yes, but it's my own hours, i'm my own boss
Alpha Wolf X10: nice
Shortie: lol i dont have to listen to anyone.. except the husband...occasionally
Shortie:
Alpha Wolf X10: occaisionally my ass
Alpha Wolf X10: he's your boss
Shortie: hahahaaaaaaaaaa fuk that ****
Alpha Wolf X10: ....right... you know you need to be told what to do
Shortie: lol maybe in bed.
Shortie: haha
Alpha Wolf X10: hm...
Shortie: i like to be dominated... lol
Shortie:
Alpha Wolf X10: good... i like to dominate - let's get married
Shortie: haha right now?
Shortie: vegas- here we come.
Alpha Wolf X10: yea lets fly up to vegas
Alpha Wolf X10: 55 hour marriage baby
Shortie: only if ur paying, u know the rules
Alpha Wolf X10: i'll pay for the wedding, u buy the tickets
Shortie: no way
Shortie: you work i clean... you pay.. i spend.
Alpha Wolf X10: my wish, your command
Shortie: suure
Alpha Wolf X10: listen here
Alpha Wolf X10: do you have to watch
Alpha Wolf X10: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bang.php
Alpha Wolf X10: again?
Shortie: hahaha
Alpha Wolf X10: your fun, i wanna chill with you sometime
Alpha Wolf X10: whats your cell #
Shortie: remember the boyfriend.
Alpha Wolf X10: who?
Shortie: my kinda-sorta boyfriend
Alpha Wolf X10: nah it's okay, i dont' want his number
Alpha Wolf X10: i'm don't swing that way
Shortie: lol
Shortie: come on now
Alpha Wolf X10: don't worry i'll only like call you at 2am 50 times a day
Shortie: hahaha
Shortie: i dunno if he'll like that too much
Shortie: ;-P
Alpha Wolf X10: whatever, just gimme yours, and i'll give you mine
Shortie: give me yours
Shortie: hey i have a question
Alpha Wolf X10: damn it's not like we're ****ing or something
Alpha Wolf X10: what's ur question
Shortie: how come in your default picture you look like .. um.. white? and in your others ones.. you dont lol
Alpha Wolf X10: no idea what you're talking about
Shortie: wtf
Shortie: how can u not
Shortie: better question-
Shortie: wats your nationality?
Alpha Wolf X10: trinidad
Alpha Wolf X10: i'm like a medium brown skin
Shortie: ahhh gotcha
Shortie: yeh
Shortie: i know
Shortie: i see
Shortie: but in your default pic
Alpha Wolf X10: looks darker in darker light
Shortie: you look WHITE ......
Alpha Wolf X10: the other ones were taken at night
Shortie: uh huh
Alpha Wolf X10: with low lighting
Shortie: lol are u really gunna be a model or wat?
Alpha Wolf X10: considering it
Alpha Wolf X10: one of these fashion people told me they like my look
Shortie: they like your look lol
Shortie: hey where do u live by?
Alpha Wolf X10: but at the time i wasn't interested, but i might call them back when i have time
Shortie: la playaaaaaaaaa?
Alpha Wolf X10: kendall
Shortie: nahhh uhhhh where in kendall
Alpha Wolf X10: oh ****, your not gonna stalk me are you
Alpha Wolf X10: i mean ur cute and all
Shortie: na... well mayeb... where
Alpha Wolf X10: but stalkers are scary
Shortie: hahah give me your number, address, and stats. ill see u soon.. but you wont see me... muahahaha lol jk
Alpha Wolf X10: tell you what, i'll tell you where in kendall if you give me your number
Shortie: cant do that
Alpha Wolf X10: oh well then
Shortie: approx. where in kendall
Shortie: by dade? by dadeland mall? WEST kendaallll?
Alpha Wolf X10: i live....
Shortie: in a box?
Alpha Wolf X10: ..."in ______________" right next to your cell phone
Alpha Wolf X10: yes, i live in a box
Shortie: me too
Shortie: i live in a big box.
Shortie: it's 2 stories
Alpha Wolf X10: hahahaha funny
Shortie: hehe
Alpha Wolf X10: i thought ur kinda sorta boyfriend broke up with you and you hated men for all eternity
Shortie: ..i do..
Shortie: and we did.
Shortie: but, that's why he's my kinda sorta- i'm gonna stay with him until i move. but i really don't know
Shortie: i'm kinda taking a month or so to think about what i really want
Alpha Wolf X10: OMG that is such a azy thing to do
Shortie: azy
Shortie: nice
Alpha Wolf X10: lazy*
Shortie: lol
Alpha Wolf X10: hahaha
Alpha Wolf X10: **** u
Shortie: shutup no it's not
Alpha Wolf X10: yeah it is
Shortie: no way man
Alpha Wolf X10: trust me... i've been there
Shortie: wat if i break up with him and i decide that its the biggest mistake ever? u know... i dont like being sad
Alpha Wolf X10: was there like 2 months ago
Shortie: ya well
Shortie: i really care for him-
Alpha Wolf X10: yea i feel ya
Shortie: he's a virgo too
Alpha Wolf X10: hahaha
Shortie: i get along with virgos really well
Shortie: they fit my sign
Alpha Wolf X10: maybe i know him, whats his first name
Shortie: bobby
Shortie: whered u go 2 highschool?
Alpha Wolf X10: nope, don't know any bobby's
Alpha Wolf X10: braddock
Shortie: damn so you ARE in west kendall
Shortie: hahahaha
Shortie: im gonna estimate
Alpha Wolf X10: not necessarily
Shortie: about kendall drive.. and ... 127 ave
Alpha Wolf X10: go ahead, you'd be wrong
Alpha Wolf X10: youll never guess
Shortie: sunset and 137
Alpha Wolf X10: and even if you did, i wouldn't tell you... you owe me something first
Shortie: i live by dade, are you close?
Alpha Wolf X10: ooh trick question
Alpha Wolf X10: you're smart... i like that, but u can't fool me girl
Shortie: ha ha ha
Shortie: sure can
Shortie: ill catch off guard
Shortie: catch ya*
Alpha Wolf X10: right
Alpha Wolf X10: i'm not on my guard now
Shortie: my best friend is from trinidad
Alpha Wolf X10: i just don't get fooled easily
Alpha Wolf X10: see i learned not to get fooled easily when i was exporting immigrants
Alpha Wolf X10: and they would lie about which country they came from
Alpha Wolf X10: for them, it was a cheap way to travel
Alpha Wolf X10: they come over here for free from colombia, we send them to cuba for free... and they don't have to pay anything
Shortie: lmao
Shortie: you damn immigrant trader.
Alpha Wolf X10: "i don't want relationship, i just want bang bang bang"
Shortie: bang bang bang
Alpha Wolf X10: god i've singing that **** all day
Shortie: THERON
Shortie: where do you live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shortie: i hate you.
Alpha Wolf X10: what's your number
Shortie: 305
Shortie: *** 262*
Shortie:
Shortie: haha even my buddy icon is laughin at you.
Alpha Wolf X10: okay, then i live on ke**all & ***
Shortie: ah ha... 3 digits
Shortie: now you're screwed
Shortie: kendall and
Shortie: 137
Shortie: kendall and 157
Shortie: kendall and KROME
Shortie: kendall and 117
Shortie: that would be close to my house.
Alpha Wolf X10: u think i'm stupid enough to put 3 digits if i actually had 3 digits in my ave
Shortie: so theres 2
Alpha Wolf X10: i am WAY too smart for you

 

[alphawolfx]

Alpha Wolf X10: there could be
Shortie: lol there can only be so many choices.
Alpha Wolf X10: there could be 2
Alpha Wolf X10: oe 3
Shortie: kendall is only on 2 and 3 digit aves
Shortie: jerk face
Alpha Wolf X10: but i just put 3 stars so you wouldn't know
Shortie: i hate you
Alpha Wolf X10: gimme the rest of your cell phone
Alpha Wolf X10: and then you can come visit me
Alpha Wolf X10: if you call me first
Alpha Wolf X10: or else
Shortie: no
Alpha Wolf X10: BANG BANG BANG
Shortie: ok
Shortie: 4** 262*
Alpha Wolf X10: not good enough
Shortie: na i cant give u more than that cuz 2 numbers would be easy to guess
Alpha Wolf X10: look sweetheart, stop playing around... you obviously want to stalk me so just give me your number so i know who to cal the police on
Shortie: lolll i hate you.
Shortie:
Shortie: you dont trust me
Alpha Wolf X10: well... being secretive doesn't exactly foster trust
Shortie: well
Shortie: well... i hate you
Alpha Wolf X10: i didn't say i was gonna seduce you, kick your boyfriends ass, break your heart, get married, and then divorced...
Alpha Wolf X10: all i said was gimme your number so we can chill sometime
Alpha Wolf X10: don't make it into some big drama
Alpha Wolf X10: although drama can be fun
Shortie: i know but if i get a phone call from a guy.. he's never heard of might i add.. he's gonna flip ****.. wouldnt you if your girlfriend had random guys callin her cell?
Shortie: i wouldnt appreciate him giving his number to a girl
Shortie: i don't do things that i dont want done to me
Alpha Wolf X10: who says i'm gonna call you out of the blue?
Shortie: then watcha need the # for?
Alpha Wolf X10: i just want ur number before i let you call me
Shortie: who said im gonna call you?
Alpha Wolf X10: I DID
Alpha Wolf X10: duh
Shortie: oh i see.
Alpha Wolf X10: haven't u been reading
Shortie: you look hot in your default pic
Alpha Wolf X10: thank u
Alpha Wolf X10: my ego is now 12 inches
Shortie: instead of 11?
Alpha Wolf X10: now you really won't be able to stand me
Alpha Wolf X10: hahaha funny girl
Shortie: i know/
Alpha Wolf X10: so gimme those 7... no wait, those 10 digits
Alpha Wolf X10: i hate people who say digits
Shortie: me too
Shortie: man i just had some guy email me on myspace n this is wat he said to grab my attention..
Shortie: yo baby, youre cute.. let's talk sometime
Alpha Wolf X10: hahahaha
Shortie: lmao, wat the fuk? where does that acutally work?
Alpha Wolf X10: i don't know
Alpha Wolf X10: on the internet, everyone is ghetto
Shortie: men are rejects
Alpha Wolf X10: well most
Shortie: and everyone is a porn star too and a model...
Alpha Wolf X10: except for me and my friends
Shortie: and has blonde hair blue eyes
Shortie: oh of coruse.
Shortie: course*
Alpha Wolf X10: and implants
Shortie: uh huh, and a washboard stomach
Shortie: wat happened to the brunettes with saggy boobs and a fat tummy? lololol
Alpha Wolf X10: um
Shortie: hahaaaaaaa
Alpha Wolf X10: they went to facethejury
Shortie: face the jury...
Alpha Wolf X10: or do you mean these people?
Alpha Wolf X10: http://www.fatchicksinpartyhats.com/
Shortie: omg they are so hot. my idols.
Alpha Wolf X10: yea i know
Shortie: why do fat people eat even if theyre not hungry... that's why theyre fat you know
Alpha Wolf X10: they eat because it makes them feel good
Alpha Wolf X10: i am currently 270 pounds
Alpha Wolf X10: you shouldn't make fun of fat people
Alpha Wolf X10: i'm fat
Shortie: well drinking makes me feel good when i'm drunk, but you don't see me going out to drink a beer at 7am
Shortie: i'm fat too, it's ok.
Alpha Wolf X10: no, u smoke a blunt at 7am
Alpha Wolf X10: you wake and bake
Shortie: i weigh 271 lbs (ha beat ya.)
Shortie: nah uh... its lik e8 am jerkface
Alpha Wolf X10: i am so fat i can't see my **** in the shower when i'm standing up
Alpha Wolf X10: i need to use a mirror
Shortie: i dotn even know if i have toes anymore
Alpha Wolf X10: i'm so fat that it takes 5 minutes for farts to get through my ass
Alpha Wolf X10: i found gary coleman in one of my rolls
Alpha Wolf X10: and richard simmons in another
Shortie: hahahahaha
Alpha Wolf X10: gary was like "****, that's what willis was talking about"
Shortie: youre a drummer huh
Alpha Wolf X10: and richard was like "i'm an annoying ****, someone please kill me"
Alpha Wolf X10: yeah
Shortie: i dated a drummer once
Shortie: i wanted to kill him
Alpha Wolf X10: hahaha
Shortie: but he had serious issues
Alpha Wolf X10: why
Alpha Wolf X10: what issues
Alpha Wolf X10: drummers can be SUCH *******s, myself included Smile
Shortie: his mom is psychotic and he is a mommas boy
Shortie: well i love the ****y ******* type.. theyre hot..
Alpha Wolf X10: but i'm better than all of them cuz i'm coll like that
Alpha Wolf X10: cool*
Alpha Wolf X10: i have no idea what coll is, but if it's something good, then i'm coll as hell
Shortie: of course
Alpha Wolf X10: "we will we will rock you"
Shortie: ahha
Shortie: youre funny
Alpha Wolf X10: yea i am
Alpha Wolf X10: and ur fun
Alpha Wolf X10: and cute
Alpha Wolf X10: too bad u won't gimme ur number
Alpha Wolf X10: i guess we'll never get to chil
Shortie: er
Shortie: we will darling, one day i swear
Alpha Wolf X10: and i'll be stuck at home all alone with no cool people
Alpha Wolf X10: i'll believe it when i see it
Shortie: just not now, not at this point in my life
Alpha Wolf X10: cuz ur gonna go up to orlando
Shortie: yeh well my heart will always be in miami.. i love it here
Alpha Wolf X10: me too
Alpha Wolf X10: love the nightlife
Shortie: i dont have pretty hands
Alpha Wolf X10: look forward to the weekends, ALWAYS
Alpha Wolf X10: ok
Alpha Wolf X10: well let's see the check list
Alpha Wolf X10: u play with your hair?
Shortie: constantly
Alpha Wolf X10: can you...
Alpha Wolf X10: have fun with the boys without being one of them.
Shortie: lol is this my test?
Alpha Wolf X10: yeah
Shortie: yeh, i choose to hang out with guys over girls.. i have 3 very close girlfriends and i keep it that way
Shortie: girls stab you in the back and dont give a ****
Alpha Wolf X10: you ARE difficult, and stubborn, so that' staken care of
Alpha Wolf X10: yep, so true
Shortie: mmhmm
Alpha Wolf X10: you can be pretty one moment, and stunning the next
Alpha Wolf X10: oh, you missed one, you told me yesterday that you know ur hot
Shortie: maybe i dunno... sometimes i get down on myself

Alpha Wolf X10: you make me laugh
Alpha Wolf X10: you have flaws no one knows about?
Shortie: too many
Shortie: i know im hot.. it's a front...
Shortie: its a confident booster. it works, i walk around like i'm the **** and i get treated like i'm the ****
Alpha Wolf X10: okay, and you have warts on your hands, that's okay, just get some medicine
Shortie: lol who said anything about that
Alpha Wolf X10: i walked around like i was the **** once, but then i stepped in some
Alpha Wolf X10: you have secrets
Shortie: lol
Alpha Wolf X10: i love your eyes
Shortie: a lot
Shortie: really>
Shortie: thanks
Alpha Wolf X10: and ur not not obsessed with ur looks
Alpha Wolf X10: well.. i dunno, they look good from here... but i gotta see them in person
Shortie: hehe i actually like my eyes
Shortie: and my lips
Alpha Wolf X10: oh wait a minute
Shortie: my eyes are brown but theyre deep
Alpha Wolf X10: you stare in the mirror at yourself don't u
Shortie: i have very dark features
Alpha Wolf X10: ur like, "oh jenna, i love you"
Shortie: its hard not to i have mirrors everywhere in my house hehe
Alpha Wolf X10: nice
Alpha Wolf X10: i bet you like to watch urself having sex
Alpha Wolf X10: ur like "oh i'm so hot"
Shortie: sometimes
Shortie: i told you i get down on myself sometimes
Alpha Wolf X10: yea we all do
Alpha Wolf X10: it's a condition called being human
Alpha Wolf X10: duh
Shortie: i like having attention on me all the time
Shortie: i hate talking and being ignored, big pet peeve
Alpha Wolf X10: what's ur nationality
Shortie: i'm white 100%
Shortie: and jewish
Shortie: hehe
Alpha Wolf X10: really?
Shortie: yeah
Shortie: not too many of those in miami
Alpha Wolf X10: you look like you have a little hispanic in you
Alpha Wolf X10: and a lot of ur traits are like traditional spanish
Shortie: yeah
Shortie: i'm as white as they come
Shortie: ...looking at your pictures...
Shortie: um
Shortie: a gun and a lighter (even tho u dont smoke) a palm pilot (knew u were rich) alcohol u drunkie
Alpha Wolf X10: lighter is for when i smoke once in a while
Shortie: smoke wat
Alpha Wolf X10: and for my friends who smoke around me
Alpha Wolf X10: menthols or bud
Alpha Wolf X10: only two things
Shortie: menthols
Shortie: ughh yuck
Shortie: gross
Alpha Wolf X10: nah u gotta be kidding me
Alpha Wolf X10: there the only stuff i can stand
Alpha Wolf X10: besides black and milds
Alpha Wolf X10: but those don't count
Shortie: yuck
Alpha Wolf X10: and no i'm not rich
Alpha Wolf X10: i am dirt poor
Shortie: double yuck
Shortie: yeh right
Alpha Wolf X10: i am so poor i had to steal a quarter from this bum today
Alpha Wolf X10: he was lying on the street
Shortie: hahah sure.

 

[alphawolfx]

Alpha Wolf X10: and i said LOOK SOME MONEY
Alpha Wolf X10: and when he turned around, i stole the money he actually had
Alpha Wolf X10: bums are stupid
Shortie: um..
Alpha Wolf X10: then i shot him
Shortie: i just got an email from a transvestite
Shortie: i think
Alpha Wolf X10: nobody normal e-mails u huh
Shortie: no
Shortie: lol look at her pic.
Shortie wants to directly connect.
Shortie is now directly connected.
Shortie: hold on
Shortie:
Alpha Wolf X10: yeah that's a man
Alpha Wolf X10: torso is too long
Shortie: but she signed her email "melissa"
Alpha Wolf X10: so what
Alpha Wolf X10: don't look at her face
Alpha Wolf X10: look at the torso
Alpha Wolf X10: i learned that the hard way, very long and sad story
Shortie: do i really wanna know?
Alpha Wolf X10: basically i met this girl once, and took her home, and when it got down to it
Alpha Wolf X10: she had a ****
Alpha Wolf X10: but that wasn't the sad part
Alpha Wolf X10: do you wanna know what the sad part was?
Shortie: sure hun
Alpha Wolf X10: her **** was bigger than mine
Alpha Wolf X10: i started crying
Shortie: awww
Alpha Wolf X10: and then she raped me
Shortie: no way
Shortie: you lie like a rug.
Alpha Wolf X10: you lie on a rug
Shortie: i have sex on a rug
Alpha Wolf X10: i use rugs for sex

Shortie: youre funny
Alpha Wolf X10: i am SO funny
Shortie: why'd you end the instant images hoe i was gonna send you a picture of me lookin like **** so u know wat i really look like
Alpha Wolf X10: that's cuz i get practice every tuesday night at the Improv in the grove
Alpha Wolf X10: okay, well send it
Shortie: really?
Alpha Wolf X10: it better not be a naked pic
Alpha Wolf X10: unless it's a GOOD naked pic
Shortie: better not be lol
Alpha Wolf X10: then it's okay
Shortie wants to directly connect.
Shortie is now directly connected.
Shortie: hold on
Shortie: gotta pic a nasty one for u
Alpha Wolf X10: if u send me ur ass crack i'm going to kick ur butt
Shortie: why? my ass is really cute.
Shortie: i got a beauty mark on it and everything
Alpha Wolf X10: like i said before
Alpha Wolf X10: ...i'll believe it when i see it
Shortie: it's cute. dont doubt me
Shortie: do u really go on @ the improv?
Alpha Wolf X10: yea, amateur nights
Alpha Wolf X10: i opened for damon wayans last week
Shortie: really!??
Alpha Wolf X10: he was sucking at first, since it's his first time back in stand up
Alpha Wolf X10: hey
Shortie: theron i wanna go see u!!!
Shortie: r u performin tuesday?
Alpha Wolf X10: you know they delete words from the dictionary
Alpha Wolf X10: they just removed "gullible"
Shortie: ..i cant find any bad pictures hehe
Shortie: I HATE YOU.
Shortie: FOREVER
Shortie: we're not friends
Alpha Wolf X10: HAHAHAHAHAA
Shortie: that wasn't funny i love the improv
Alpha Wolf X10: omg u see why i like u
Alpha Wolf X10: ur so gullible
Alpha Wolf X10: me too
Shortie: grrrrrrrr
Alpha Wolf X10: although damon wayans sucking at first was true
Shortie: well is tuesday really amateur nite?
Alpha Wolf X10: i don't know
Alpha Wolf X10: i think wednesday is
Shortie: oh
Shortie: i wanna go to the improv
Alpha Wolf X10: see... if you gave me ur number... ah but nevermind
Alpha Wolf X10: u have ur issues
Shortie: thanks
Alpha Wolf X10: well... u should give me your cell phone number then
Alpha Wolf X10: and i'll give you mine
Alpha Wolf X10: and when you wanna go to the improv, u gimme a call
Shortie: give me yours.
Shortie: and maybe i will call you.
Alpha Wolf X10: urs first sweetheart
Shortie: i can't have you callin me like that, it's disrespectful for bobby. you know?
Alpha Wolf X10: ...right
Alpha Wolf X10: okay, ur borefriend
Alpha Wolf X10: mr. kinda sorta
Shortie: yeh
Shortie: exactly
Alpha Wolf X10: whatever... well, you don't get mine or my address until u give me urs
Alpha Wolf X10: so its up to u

 

[alphawolfx]

Alpha Wolf X10: anyways
Alpha Wolf X10: send me those pics dork
Shortie: well
Shortie: i live in sabal chase
Shortie: you know where that is?
Alpha Wolf X10: where is that
Shortie: across the street from dade
Alpha Wolf X10: i think i've heard of it
Alpha Wolf X10: oh okay
Shortie: i cant believe im sendin this to u
Shortie: its a really bad picture, like forreal
Shortie:
Shortie: no makeup no hair no nothin
Shortie: and i look fat
Shortie: yuck
Alpha Wolf X10: how do i say this with the utmost finesse
Alpha Wolf X10: let me as polite as i can
Alpha Wolf X10: "i'd **** you"
Shortie: let me have it.
Shortie: yeah righ
Shortie: i really dont like that picture.. its the only really bad one i could find all the others are from new years and well lets face it, i looked hot on new years
Alpha Wolf X10: yeah
Alpha Wolf X10: send me some more
Alpha Wolf X10: i'll enlarge them and put them on my ceiling
Alpha Wolf X10: and then start stalking you
Shortie: haha will you dream of me?
Alpha Wolf X10: um, i was thinking of something a little more dirty, but yeah i guess dreaming will be there too
Shortie: i look really white in this one
Shortie:
Alpha Wolf X10: jesus christ
Shortie: thats my best friend, she is hot.
Alpha Wolf X10: now in that picture
Alpha Wolf X10: not only would i **** you
Alpha Wolf X10: but i'd do wonderfully obscene things to you for hours
Shortie: aw really?
Alpha Wolf X10: .. i dunno.... see i'd have to actually MEET you first
Shortie: well
Shortie: give me your number
Alpha Wolf X10: hahaha nice try
Alpha Wolf X10: you know how it goes
Alpha Wolf X10: u give me urs
Alpha Wolf X10: and i'll give u mine
Shortie: men first
Alpha Wolf X10: and i'll let YOU do the calling
Shortie: i cant have you callin me
Shortie: ill give u my house number
Alpha Wolf X10: okay that works
Shortie: 305 *** ****
Alpha Wolf X10: okay i'm gonna call that right now to make sure that's actually you and ur not ****ing with me
Shortie: well id have to sign off.
Shortie: i dont wanna sign off but call and ill tell u ur number
Alpha Wolf X10: okay that works
Shortie: now.
Alpha Wolf X10: now?
Shortie: *** ****
Shortie: bla
Alpha Wolf X10: yep
Shortie: i feel like taking pictures.
Alpha Wolf X10: of what
Shortie: but i look like crap i just got outta work
Shortie: of me
Shortie: "im obbsessed with myself" days
Alpha Wolf X10: well go take a shower, fix urself up, and then take some nice ones
Alpha Wolf X10: and then u can come see me after i get out of class
Alpha Wolf X10: unless u take like 2 hours to shower
Alpha Wolf X10: cuz i do that
Shortie: lol im gonna take a nap soon.
Shortie: oh hey con artist, where do u live
Alpha Wolf X10: ah that was for the CELL phone number, not ur house number
Shortie: oh man
Alpha Wolf X10: see now u have my number
Alpha Wolf X10: and that's MY cell phone
Shortie: u suck horribly.
Alpha Wolf X10: no i don't
Shortie: yes, yes you do.
Alpha Wolf X10: i'm just sticking by what i said
Alpha Wolf X10: Razz
Shortie: you're going to make me cry
Shortie: what time do you get outta class?
Alpha Wolf X10: 10:00
Shortie: damn buddy mad late
Alpha Wolf X10: yeah
Alpha Wolf X10: it's alright, weekends coming up
Shortie: ill be workin on a research project then
Shortie: i work all weekend
Shortie: ****ty,
Alpha Wolf X10: nights or days
Shortie: days, always days.
Alpha Wolf X10: that's not a problem
Shortie: but sunday i gotta go to work and then work on my research project
Alpha Wolf X10: nightlife in miami is kickin
Alpha Wolf X10: well
Alpha Wolf X10: gimme a call whenever ur gonna have a free weekend
Shortie: im not 21- no its not
Alpha Wolf X10: ah...
Shortie: ah... good ol 18
Shortie: maybe we'll hit up the improv soemtime this week?
Alpha Wolf X10: yeah no problem, i can find some good places that is 18+
Alpha Wolf X10: this week? all that's left is friday and saturday
Shortie: ok next week
Shortie: u know wat i meant
Alpha Wolf X10: sure
Shortie: suresure
Alpha Wolf X10: call me up, or i'll call u
Alpha Wolf X10: one of the two
Alpha Wolf X10: hey i have a funny idea
Shortie: yeh?
Alpha Wolf X10: actually nevermind, i'll save that for another time
Shortie: no tell me
Shortie: you can't do that.
Alpha Wolf X10: OMG now i know another one of ur buttons
Alpha Wolf X10: HAHAHAHA
Alpha Wolf X10: i am evil
Shortie: lol
Shortie: i hate you
Alpha Wolf X10: it's okay i hate you too
Shortie: you really are going to make me cry
Alpha Wolf X10: muah
Shortie:
Shortie: no
Alpha Wolf X10: hahahaha
Shortie: no love.
Alpha Wolf X10: ah don't worry, i'll tell you about it when we get out of the improv
Alpha Wolf X10: you can wait until then
Shortie: id like to go on amatuer night if u could find out when that is?
Alpha Wolf X10: yeah, i'll talk to one of my friends
Alpha Wolf X10: amateur night isn't as funny though
Alpha Wolf X10: it's funny to see them struggling
Alpha Wolf X10: but that's about it
Shortie: it could be.
Shortie: i like to see people struggle, its funny
Shortie: hehe.
Alpha Wolf X10: we'll see.. i don't know if they do it every week
Shortie: i'm a *****
Shortie: how about u find out wats up for next week and ill let ya know.
Alpha Wolf X10: yep
Alpha Wolf X10: aight, whatever
Shortie: WATEVER
Shortie: DID YOU JUST WATEVER ME
Alpha Wolf X10: i'll call ur house or i'll send u an e-mail
Shortie: ill kick your ass.
Alpha Wolf X10: yeah i whatevered you
Shortie: you're ass, my foot. a match made in heaven
Alpha Wolf X10: you can't kick my ass
Shortie: yes i can
Alpha Wolf X10: you can try
Shortie: i will
Shortie: i'm tough.
Alpha Wolf X10: but i will put you over my knee and spank you uuntil ur cheeks are red
Alpha Wolf X10: and you know you white girls get really red
Shortie: haha i could like that
Shortie: hjaahahahahha you dont even know
Alpha Wolf X10: don't i?
Shortie: do you?
Alpha Wolf X10: i don't know... maybe you'll find out
Shortie: cute, i'm gonna go take a nap. maybe i'll call you later.
Alpha Wolf X10: yeah yeah yeah, right
Shortie: bye theron. xoxo
Alpha Wolf X10: bye u
Alpha Wolf X10: talk to you another time
Shortie: yup
Alpha Wolf X10: bye now
Shortie: bye

 

[DJDamage]

Quick someone post that funny Collin Powell message.

 

[Julian]

cliffs notes pls

 

[diablo]

You really expect us to read that?

 

[cave dweller]

?????????

Hey,

What is the point of all of this sh!t that you posted?

cave dweller

 

[nan3109]

"I just ate a big red camel."

"Look Ron! I'm riding a big furry horsey!"

That's how stupid i felt after reading your post

 

[alphawolfx]

BOO YA... she just called me

"just to say what's up"

i'll say it again... BOO YA.

and the point of this is to see some awesome C&F that came naturally even though some of it was from DYD, it came out naturally

also to see the effects of PERSISTENCE...

aw you guys suck... how about some cool people come and give me some props for this, dammit!

 

[Centaurion]

i stopped reading this after the line

"chillin like bob dylan"

bwhhahahahahaah lmfao

how retarded can you get...

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Hey, I got a fun story...I went to the auto show in DC, and I met Lita from WWF...Damn shes bangin...So I was nervous as sh1t at first, but then when I went up, I was like "whats good Lita?" and I leaned over the table...And then I asked her why she wasnt showing her tats off and she said it was cold...And then we were making some small talk, and then when she signed the pic of her, she drew a heart on that sh1t...I looked at other people's things and there wasnt a heart on them, and then after I left, she started showing her tats off! Damn, shes so small too...SO Im the winner cause I got a heart on mines!!!!!

 

[Skweints]

What kind of "Alpha Male" calls a chick a "Dork" I can see it if you're 12 years old... but no GROWN ASS MAN will ever say that.

Of course, I should've stopped after the first line. Now I think I just got worse at picking up women thanks to this post.

 

[alphawolfx]

um, you guys are weird

you guys never have fun like this with a girl?

she already called me like 1 hour after the conversation, so obviously we were enjoying ourselves...

what do you mean what kind of alpha male says dork

what kind of alpha male DOESN'T say whatever he wants to?

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by Skweints
Of course, I should've stopped after the first line. Now I think I just got worse at picking up women thanks to this post.

Please tell me you didn't actually read all of that, did you?!

 

[California Love]

You did pretty good bro. Since the post is so long (just skimmed it), it's obvious that she is interested in you, having alloted so much time to chat with you. Seems like a good girl.

Props

 

[alphawolfx]

ya this was my quasi field report of how i used c&F with a girl... i was just a little excited that she called me and stuff... yay i'm improving

i don't mind the other guys comments... in fact i know what's up:
they think i'm so hot that they need to neghit me... you faggots... stop it, what are you gonna do next, ask me who lies more?

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by alphawolfx
ya this was my quasi field report of how i used c&F with a girl... i was just a little excited that she called me and stuff... yay i'm improving

i don't mind the other guys comments... in fact i know what's up:
they think i'm so hot that they need to neghit me... you faggots... stop it, what are you gonna do next, ask me who lies more?

Sorry, but field reports are generated from off-line experiences. Posting a chat log between you and a girl on the internet doesn't even come close to it, 'quasi' or otherwise. If every guy here posted a chat log of every conversation he had with a girl that he thought was DJ, what would this board come to? Especially if each log was as long as yours?!

If doing this is getting your confidence up, then good. Keep it up. Please, though, don't make another thread such as this. If you believe that anyone here thinks or wonders about how 'hot' you are, you might want to think again.

 

[alphawolfx]

oh man i just read my post, it's not as interesting as i thought...


but there are some nuggets of gold C&F and jokes in there....

oh well

guess you guys weren't neghitting me cuz you thought i was hot - or were you?