The Multi Kiss Test

[thedeparted]

I met a girl for coffee last night. When she first meets me I give her a hug and she gives me a kiss on the cheek. An hour later in my apt. I give her a kiss on the cheek (I've been doing kino) and then take her in the bedroom. An hour after that she wants some serious post-coital smooching (there wasn't any before hand). An hour after that I'm in her car, saying goodnight, she goes to kiss my lips and I go to kiss her cheek, I say goodnight and get out.

It just occurred to me that this completely describes the relationship. At first she is kissing up to me. Then I am enticing her with a kiss. After she earns it she gets the real deal. But in the end she wants more and only gets a cheek. Basically, I've made her work for it, and left her wanting more. No surprise, I get a text later saying how she had a really great time.

Now compare that with the girl I was seeing before. She never kissed me when we met at the beginning of a date. There would be more serious make out session before sex. Not after. At the end of the night I would kiss her several times. And no text messages. This indicates that she did not kiss up to me, I had to warm her up with long makeout sessions, and then she left *me* wanting more. No surprise, I got an email calling it off in the end.

So I don't know what this adds up to, but it feels like an interesting barometer of where you stand with a girl, that maybe extends the initial "kiss test" from when you get her number through the evening or even the whole relationship. Too bad I hadn't noticed this earlier.

 

[Warrior74]

meh. I've initiated the first kiss on pretty much every girl I have layed or dated. I can't recall any girl kissing me first. Hmmm maybe that's why I'm still not with any of them eh? LOL. Seriously though...if it works for you, roll with it. Field test it more.

 

[The Bat]

You may be over analyzing here.

Some girls are more receptive to kissing and they just want to kiss you all the time. While other girls are more shy about kissing when it's not appropriate (such as when you're not in the bedroom).

But I don't see no harm in continue to do it if it works for you.

 

[guru1000]

Now compare that with the girl I was seeing before. She never kissed me when we met at the beginning of a date. There would be more serious make out session before sex. Not after. At the end of the night I would kiss her several times. And no text messages. This indicates that she did not kiss up to me, I had to warm her up with long makeout sessions, and then she left *me* wanting more. No surprise, I got an email calling it off in the end.

It sounds like you are comparing High to Low IL. You are qualifying by TRYING to figure out what works best when high IL is not present.

When a girl has HIGH IL, you can do or say anything you like, and she will justify in her mind why you are still #1.

Strategy with calibration can work against you in this game. I would be more selective and ready to disqualify at signs of low interest rather than trying to inject interest that is not genuinely there.

In the above example, signs of low interest were already present. It is not so much what you did or failed to do. Disqualify and seek high IL.

 

[BeyondCharm]

You met a girl for coffee and then took her back to your apartment and screwed?

I don't respect women who hop into bed that quick because it says to me, she'd do the same thing with another guy the next night after only knowing him for an hour. Anyway, I have an ideal where I try and do 5 dates coffee/movie/dinner/entertainmen/lunch whatever before even attempting to f-close.

This gives me time to figure out if I really want to be in a relationship with this person. And if all I wanted was sex to begin with, what's the point of even going out for coffee in the first place?

 

[Warrior74]

You met a girl for coffee and then took her back to your apartment and screwed?

I don't respect women who hop into bed that quick because it says to me, she'd do the same thing with another guy the next night after only knowing him for an hour. Anyway, I have an ideal where I try and do 5 dates coffee/movie/dinner/entertainmen/lunch whatever before even attempting to f-close.

Well while your waiting on 4 and 5 dates, someone else might still take her out for a date and close on the first one. Just because you take it slow doesn't mean she's the kind of girl who takes it slow. See my thread on taking it slow. I see now that if I would have pushed I could have laid her on the first date.

Have you ever heard the statement, that a woman knows within 5 mins of meeting you if she wants to sleep with you or not? Well if they are on a date, assume she made up her mind to sleep with you.

So would you respect a woman who made you wait a year for sex? or a woman who said she would never have sex? would you respect her most of all? How much is respect and sex related in your mind? Do you see where I'm going with this?

 

[thedeparted]

Just to clear things up, it was pretty clear we were gonna have sex BEFORE we met. That's b/c of how I framed things. However, the coffee date is both an ASD and a chance for ME to screen HER. If I saw something weird I'd walk her back to her car -- not my condo.

Warrior is right, too. The girl who LJBF'd you forever could've been blowing the entire football team. I have also taken chicks that told me they hadn't had sex in a year. The truth? Who knows.

Finally, consider what kind of relationship you want. Coffee and sex works for me. I don't want a "dating" relationship right now. If you do the 5 date approach you are going for an LTR situation by demonstrating your value as a provider. That's fine if you want a GF. If you want to run sexual experiments on random women that's a waste of time. To each his own.