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ss8

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looking for some insight on the truth as to approach mentality. I have long operated under the understanding that you must employ humour, playful negging, intriguing and otherwise demonstrate a strong desirable couldn't careless attitude. however after reading 60 years of challenge method recently it suggests something contrary. It says get in straight away with an intensity that makes no bones about making your intention obvious if unspoken. it says avoid using humour and negs and all that routine as it just causes a sense of comfort that only serves to slowly diminish the visceral sexual tension.
Am hugely confused. if you approach and its openly obvious what you want isn't that simply as good as saying "im yours if you want me"? this goes against my whole understanding that you should be having her qualify herself to you like youre the more valuable asset and she should be unsure as to whether she could attain you. also what the hell is your demeanour if you dispense with the humour and playful sarcasm and ****iness? Any experienced guys input and insight into this appreciated, to which I imagine I will have further questions...….
 

ss8

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C'mooooooooon guys. Really want input on this. Two different perspectives both proclaiming they're Gospel. No takers?
 

ss8

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How do you define direct game, and is this cold approach after some indications of interest or stone cold approach. Still haven't got that level of confidence :-S
 

jaymbrs

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I can tell by the high number of threads you've already started vs the amount of time you've been here that you're too needy. You should probably start there.
 

ss8

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I can tell by the high number of threads you've already started vs the amount of time you've been here that you're too needy. You should probably start there.
I appreciate the appearance, however I've been reading this site for years and only just decided to dive in and contribute /ask hence all these long standing mysteries to me are being vomited out as fast as they occur so I can get some expertise and finally put them to rest. I get how it looks tho. I'm not that hapless just hate unresolved niggles. And yes, neediness was once huge, far less now, like I say, this stuffs just been pent up for years. Not to mention no one's actually replied in any meaningful way so I figured the more threads the more chance of some wisdom. Don't ask, don't get. Mind you, asking ain't getting either.........
 

In2thegame!

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looking for some insight on the truth as to approach mentality. I have long operated under the understanding that you must employ humour, playful negging, intriguing and otherwise demonstrate a strong desirable couldn't careless attitude. however after reading 60 years of challenge method recently it suggests something contrary. It says get in straight away with an intensity that makes no bones about making your intention obvious if unspoken. it says avoid using humour and negs and all that routine as it just causes a sense of comfort that only serves to slowly diminish the visceral sexual tension.
Am hugely confused. if you approach and its openly obvious what you want isn't that simply as good as saying "im yours if you want me"? this goes against my whole understanding that you should be having her qualify herself to you like you're the more valuable asset and she should be unsure as to whether she could attain you. also what the hell is your demeanour if you dispense with the humour and playful sarcasm and ****iness? Any experienced guys input and insight into this appreciated, to which I imagine I will have further questions...….
This is mostly going to be about NightLife "Game"

Your approach is a reflection of how you perceive yourself IMO. If you are getting ready to go out and looking in the mirror you think to yourself, "Look at that lean muscular physique" and "That face has received a numerous amounts of complements". Then your mentality is already on the "I can pick up Women no problem because I know they think im hot". You have no reason to not be direct. If you perceive yourself as a scrawny, boyish looking average guy who hasn't received much complements, Then right off the bat you are starting in a negative mental state.

Me personally, I believe direct game is not only the best way but the Manly way. Forget all this "negs", The "subtle" approaches and/or push pull "techniques" and be a Man and go get it done. My example of a direct approach, based on my experience and how I've done it when i was sleeping with many Women, Hanging out with friends at a bar/lounge and while having a drink if i see a Chick i like, Im approaching by letting her know what's on my mind. I'll give you some examples of my Direct approaches...

•"Excuse me, I don't mean to bother you but I couldn't stop checking you out" - Offer for her to come with you to the bar and get a drink.
•"Excuse me, I don't mean to bother you but You are fvcking gorgeous" - Offer for her to come with you to the bar and get a drink.
•"Excuse me, You look sexy as hell in that dress" - Offer for her to come with you to the bar and get a drink.
•"Excuse me, I saw when you walked in earlier and I had to come talk to you :Smirk:" - Offer for her to come with you to the bar and get a drink.

-While your getting a drink with her, joke around a little bit about how hot you think she is- grab her hand and slowly twirl her around and say "look at this!, incredible!", They LOVE flattery but at the same time you are expressing sexual interest and this is to be used at a bar/lounge/club when they are actually dressed up.

Keep in mind that these aren't "lines", These are true statements of what i thought of the girl and I verbally expressed them. I have been "tested" by chicks responding with, oh is that your pickup line? I tell them No, Its what i was thinking when I first saw you. The crucial point in this is your delivery of HOW to say these things. Now, I wont bullsh!t you and tell you it's an easy thing to do but once you master your delivery, You'll do well. First and foremost, You need to make sure you are looking good, smelling good, haircut is tight and your clothes fit you well. I can't tell you to "just be confident" because that has to come from within you. Where does my confidence come from? Well I have a lean muscular physique that I worked hard on and yes many women have called me gorgeous, Hot as fvck, Very handsome etc and these comments sit in my subconscious mind but I won't go into that or else this will get hijacked into a full blown looks matter thread.

When you say these things to Women, Make sure you tell them in their ear and this is where smelling good comes in, the closer you get for her to smell you, the better and gives you a reason to get close. Sometimes you genuinely need to get close because the music is a bit loud but either way, try to get close to her so she can smell you and make sure you test out what smells good on you and stick with it. (Quick story, A few times I've had Women follow me around a bar until they nailed down who exactly that scent was coming from lol) They love it!!

Don't be afraid to approach Women in a direct way because Women are just as nasty and freaky as Men, if not MORE in my experience. You see that "innocent" looking chick you think is hot? or that "Sassy" one walking like shes miss princess? Yeah that one.... That's the same girl in her bed or shower rubbing her cl!t as if she was possessed and using her vibrator/dildo like her life depended on it. When I wasnt around to fvck a chick and she told me she had to use her "toy" the number one complaint was she was out of batteries lol That tells you right there, They use that thing nonstop. Anyway, the whole point of this is Women love a bold man because it makes them wonder then what you're like in bed and that deep down excites them. (Quick Story: I met a girl like this a while ago and she swore she was miss innocent humble but I had a feeling she was much more than that! and I was right. Her and I were at a mutual friends party in a hotel lounge and at the end of the night, I fvcked her brains out and for 2 years after. Miss "innocent" wasn't as she appeared, she was WILD and a squirter too)

The ultimate reason for a HUGE percentage of Men not approaching or fear approaching is...............rejection. Many go on a rant about how good looking guys have no issues or How only "Chads" get Women. Im telling you right now, Again i wont go deep into this to avoid a looks thread but a TON of Women have called me incredibly Hot, Gorgeous, Sexy, Beautiful Man, etc you name it, I've heard it. I've been blessed yes however I've had many rejections as well and they vary from "You're very attractive but I have a boyfriend sorry" to simply "No, Not interested". I simply excuse myself by saying, "Ok, Was nice meeting you" and go on my way. It sucks when the girl you think is REALLY! hot is not available or not interested but there's plenty of other Women and also it doesn't mean you are some gremlin looking creature and that's why she rejected you, with Women it could be ANY reason. she just got out of a relationship, she's depressed, shes "going through something" or WHATEVER. The point is you made the approach and it will work or its not going to work. Go out gentlemen and get it done.
 
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ss8

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Excellent answer dude. Thanks. Two points tho: as you mention this is great for the bar scene, what about in say more "respectable" circumstances as I'm actively avoiding bars and clubs at the moment in favour of daytime early eve activities in which quite so demonstrative and open an approach just wouldn't be suitable. How could you be direct but tone it down at say a cafe or educational class. Also I'm OK in the looks department so I'm told, but hypothetically if you weren't wouldnt this get shot down even in a bar? It sounds like you're a pretty lucky guy as far as looks go from what you say. Is that half the battle in such a direct approach?
 

Desdinova

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after reading 60 years of challenge method recently it suggests something contrary. It says get in straight away with an intensity that makes no bones about making your intention obvious if unspoken. it says avoid using humour and negs and all that routine as it just causes a sense of comfort that only serves to slowly diminish the visceral sexual tension.
Am hugely confused.
Go out in the field and try it out a bunch of times. If you have more success being direct than warming a girl up, then you have your answer. The only way to find out if something works is to field test it yourself instead of asking others to field test it for you.
 

ss8

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You learn more thru your experience than others teaching, granted. My main concern is while I'm happy to try it myself it's the stipulation to not use the humour, negs, sarcasm, all that stuff I'd usually use just to have a more engaging interaction. strip that away and I'm wondering what the hell do I actually say?? Just go up and with eyes that mean business say " hey baby, Id like to butter your muffin "? And even if that **** worked and it was game on how do you have an interaction for any period of time not using any of the aforementioned techniques but sustaining the same level of sexual tension using small talk?[/QUOTE]
 

Desdinova

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what the hell do I actually say?? Just go up and with eyes that mean business say " hey baby, Id like to butter your muffin "? And even if that **** worked and it was game on how do you have an interaction for any period of time not using any of the aforementioned techniques but sustaining the same level of sexual tension using small talk?
Being direct requires raw confidence which is why I can see it working. If you're going to go out and do this, you cannot let it die quickly. If she's not down to go fvck you in that moment, then you need to postpone it until the evening. Striking while the iron is hot is the only way this will work. You can't say "we should fvck the night away" and then wait 3 days to text her.
 

jaymbrs

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This is mostly going to be about NightLife "Game"

Your approach is a reflection of how you perceive yourself IMO. If you are getting ready to go out and looking in the mirror you think to yourself, "Look at that lean muscular physique" and "That face has received a numerous amounts of complements". Then your mentality is already on the "I can pick up Women no problem because I know they think im hot". You have no reason to not be direct. If you perceive yourself as a scrawny, boyish looking average guy who hasn't received much complements, Then right off the bat you are starting in a negative mental state.

Me personally, I believe direct game is not only the best way but the Manly way. Forget all this "negs", The "subtle" approaches and/or push pull "techniques" and be a Man and go get it done. My example of a direct approach, based on my experience and how I've done it when i was sleeping with many Women, Hanging out with friends at a bar/lounge and while having a drink if i see a Chick i like, Im approaching by letting her know what's on my mind. I'll give you some examples of my Direct approaches...

•"Excuse me, I don't mean to bother you but I couldn't stop checking you out" - Offer for her to come with you to the bar and get a drink.
•"Excuse me, I don't mean to bother you but You are fvcking gorgeous" - Offer for her to come with you to the bar and get a drink.
•"Excuse me, You look sexy as hell in that dress" - Offer for her to come with you to the bar and get a drink.
•"Excuse me, I saw when you walked in earlier and I had to come talk to you :Smirk:" - Offer for her to come with you to the bar and get a drink.

-While your getting a drink with her, joke around a little bit about how hot you think she is- grab her hand and slowly twirl her around and say "look at this!, incredible!", They LOVE flattery but at the same time you are expressing sexual interest and this is to be used at a bar/lounge/club when they are actually dressed up.

Keep in mind that these aren't "lines", These are true statements of what i thought of the girl and I verbally expressed them. I have been "tested" by chicks responding with, oh is that your pickup line? I tell them No, Its what i was thinking when I first saw you. The crucial point in this is your delivery of HOW to say these things. Now, I wont bullsh!t you and tell you it's an easy thing to do but once you master your delivery, You'll do well. First and foremost, You need to make sure you are looking good, smelling good, haircut is tight and your clothes fit you well. I can't tell you to "just be confident" because that has to come from within you. Where does my confidence come from? Well I have a lean muscular physique that I worked hard on and yes many women have called me gorgeous, Hot as fvck, Very handsome etc and these comments sit in my subconscious mind but I won't go into that or else this will get hijacked into a full blown looks matter thread.

When you say these things to Women, Make sure you tell them in their ear and this is where smelling good comes in, the closer you get for her to smell you, the better and gives you a reason to get close. Sometimes you genuinely need to get close because the music is a bit loud but either way, try to get close to her so she can smell you and make sure you test out what smells good on you and stick with it. (Quick story, A few times I've had Women follow me around a bar until they nailed down who exactly that scent was coming from lol) They love it!!

Don't be afraid to approach Women in a direct way because Women are just as nasty and freaky as Men, if not MORE in my experience. You see that "innocent" looking chick you think is hot? or that "Sassy" one walking like shes miss princess? Yeah that one.... That's the same girl in her bed or shower rubbing her cl!t as if she was possessed and using her vibrator/dildo like her life depended on it. When I wasnt around to fvck a chick and she told me she had to use her "toy" the number one complaint was she was out of batteries lol That tells you right there, They use that thing nonstop. Anyway, the whole point of this is Women love a bold man because it makes them wonder then what you're like in bed and that deep down excites them. (Quick Story: I met a girl like this a while ago and she swore she was miss innocent humble but I had a feeling she was much more than that! and I was right. Her and I were at a mutual friends party in a hotel lounge and at the end of the night, I fvcked her brains out and for 2 years after. Miss "innocent" wasn't as she appeared, she was WILD and a squirter too)

The ultimate reason for a HUGE percentage of Men not approaching or fear approaching is...............rejection. Many go on a rant about how good looking guys have no issues or How only "Chads" get Women. Im telling you right now, Again i wont go deep into this to avoid a looks thread but a TON of Women have called me incredibly Hot, Gorgeous, Sexy, Beautiful Man, etc you name it, I've heard it. I've been blessed yes however I've had many rejections as well and they vary from "You're very attractive but I have a boyfriend sorry" to simply "No, Not interested". I simply excuse myself by saying, "Ok, Was nice meeting you" and go on my way. It sucks when the girl you think is REALLY! hot is not available or not interested but there's plenty of other Women and also it doesn't mean you are some gremlin looking creature and that's why she rejected you, with Women it could be ANY reason. she just got out of a relationship, she's depressed, shes "going through something" or WHATEVER. The point is you made the approach and it will work or its not going to work. Go out gentlemen and get it done.
I wish I could agree with this but in this day and age, people are becoming socially retarded. Whenever I approach a woman at a bar, they have no clue how to react sometimes, making it a huge turnoff due to the awkwardness. I was cold approaching since I was 13 and I've never received such idiotic reactions. Women are so used to being approached via an electronic device now.
 

Glassguy

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OP- you joined a mere few days ago and you have already started more threads than most of us start in a year. What do you expect?
 

ss8

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OP- you joined a mere few days ago and you have already started more threads than most of us start in a year. What do you expect?
I explained I get the initial impression. Been harbouring these questions for years so they've been divulged in one go. Grateful thus far for the constructive advice and glad for more so I can finally bury these queries and move onwards and upwards. Respectfully Ain't that the point?
 

RangerMIke

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FWIW I never approach any situation with intent to get chicks. I just go into every situation by being just friendly and fun and my only desire is to meet people and have a good time. Start with that. I think too many men think too much about having sex, getting laid. Don't get ahead of yourself... one step at a time. You go to a party:

You walk in: Your intent should be to have a good time.
You see women: Your intent should be to find ones you are interested in.
You ID a woman you like: Your intent should be to introduce yourself.
You are talking to a woman you like: Your intent should be to see if she is any fun.
If you determine she is fun: Then you should get her number or make a date.
If you get her number: Your intent should be to get her on a date.
When you are on a date: Your intent should be to figure out if she is right for you.
If she is right for you (you've built rapport): Then and ONLY then should you even try seduction.

Too often men don't go in with the correct progression, they go in like this.

You walk in: Your intent is to get laid.

Most problems with men in approach isn't that they are using the wrong 'PUA' technique it's that they are getting ahead of themselves and this comes off as impatient desperation.

The next biggest problem men have in approach is failing to correctly read the situations they are in. Do yourself a favor... just say to yourself that you are going to take a month and go to clubs or parties without ANY intent, drink coke, stay sober and just watch people... all you are going to do is watch dudes approach chicks... pay attention to what the guys are doing and the response women give them. Then pay attention to how the chicks respond... it becomes pretty clear if the chick likes the dude she is talking too. Then the next time you approach a chick, if she isn't behaving like a chick interested in you, just brush her off and go about having fun.
 
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ss8

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Good stuff ranger Mike. Will take this process as a very real operating guideline
 

ss8

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You want to listen to this.

It's sounding like you are going with the "just see what happens" route. Aka, I'll be back in 12 months having accomplished nothing.

Cold approach is a definable skill. Attaining that skill makes other things like social circle game a fvcking breeze. It's a life skill unto itself.

If you only live for ioi's, you'll get two clear ones on average each time you are out for a few hours (by my view). This is not enough to practice the specific skill. What's more, your reaction times suck as a beginner, so you will not be reacting to most of them anyways.

Complete folly. But as Des rightly says (which I didn't get), there is an element of avoidance in general.

Just don't be the guy saying the exact same stuff in 12 months with no growth, would be the warning.
I think I'll go for it. At this point I'm in a kind of "**** it" mood, like I want the rejection.
 

In2thegame!

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Excellent answer dude. Thanks. Two points tho: as you mention this is great for the bar scene, what about in say more "respectable" circumstances as I'm actively avoiding bars and clubs at the moment in favour of daytime early eve activities in which quite so demonstrative and open an approach just wouldn't be suitable. How could you be direct but tone it down at say a cafe or educational class. Also I'm OK in the looks department so I'm told, but hypothetically if you weren't wouldnt this get shot down even in a bar? It sounds like you're a pretty lucky guy as far as looks go from what you say. Is that half the battle in such a direct approach?
For the more "respectable" settings, It's more or less the same when approaching and telling a Women you find her attractive. If you see a chick walking by or standing by and you're thinking "Man she's hot" Then go from there and approach by saying "Hey Excuse me, dont mean to bother you but I wanted to come over and say hi, you're incredibly sexy" it doesn't have to be "sexy" it could be "beautiful" or "cute" but the point is to open up direct and bold. During the day people in general are out and about with things to do so this interaction should be short by getting the phone number. Keep chit chat small and once you exchange numbers, say something like "Let's meet up and get a drink" or something similar to that. Go from there in setting up the date.

Ive seen average guys with pretty hot Women so it could either be they know them from a social circle or the guy was bold enough to make the move and land the girl. One of the hottest Women I dated told me straight up that she LOVED that i put her in her place and was VERY direct with her and we're talking a chick who turned heads everywhere and anywhere. Her face was better but the overall package could pass for a young Nicole Austin. You have no idea how many "props" i got when I was out with her and I was nailing that like crazy. Eventually we parted ways since it was a casual sex thing and she ended up engaged and married to some dude soon after.
 

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In2thegame!

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Whenever I approach a woman at a bar, they have no clue how to react sometimes, making it a huge turnoff due to the awkwardness.
Im curious, How do you approach them in the bar? what's your demeanor like? What do you open up with?
 

devilkingx2

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You must be a man of many hats.

Approaching a drunk girl at a bar with direct game is a good idea

Approaching a girl in a cafe johnny bravo style isn't going to work unless you're also 6 feet tall and jacked

You have to read and understand the situation, the girl and yourself.

A chad is suited for direct game, a silver tongued smooth talker is suited for any game that involves talking, etc.

Generally, the more the girl is expecting to meet new people, the more direct you should be, and the less she wants to meet new people, the more indirect you should be
 

Desdinova

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If you only live for ioi's, you'll get two clear ones on average each time you are out for a few hours
Eventually, I decided to say fvck the IOIs. All they made me do was over-analyze and think too much. Instead, I just approached if I was interested. I only avoided doing the number close if I was getting obvious signs of disinterest. Other than that, I just went out and did it from approach to number close. Sometimes I'd have success, sometimes I wouldn't. I'd just briefly tend to my rejection wound and move onto the next chick. Rinse and repeat.
 
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