The Most VALUABLE Advice I Can Offer

[Vassago]

In order to get a girl, you must be AS COOL, if not COOLER than she is, and most importantly...

She Has To Know It!

Here's the bottom line..

I've met a TON of people from this community.

If I had to pick out the one thing that separates the guys who get laid from the guys who don't, it's that the guys who get action are cool, they know it, and they show it.

What am I saying here?

Most of the people who aren't getting the girls they want dont need to learn seduction tricks and techniques. They just need to learn to be cool.

I don't care if you're a super AFC. If you're cool, you're gonna end up with SOME women. Not a lot, but some. I have plenty of AFC friends who have girlfriends.

BUT, I don't have ANY dorky friends who have girlfriends.

Some of the people I have met through this have said that I'm the SUPER FRAT BOY. Others say I have no technique, but I get girls cause Im good looking, loud, and live in a college town with ladies everywhere.

Now I hate frats and I would never join one, but that aside...

THESE ARE THE BEST COMPLIMENTS I HAVE EVER GOTTEN!

Why? Because I used to be a total DORK!

I was the guy that got picked on, the guy who got no women all through school, and the guy was voted Most Bashful in 8th grade!

I had ugly hair, ugly clothes, and I talked like Eminem witha fat lip! (and I had the biggest baddest collection of gangsta rap to back it up!)

Have you been there? I have! And I did something about it!

I started to pay attention to how my "natural" friends dressed and acted. I moved from my ****ty hometown to San Diego. I practiced starting conversations with EVERYBODY...Not just women. I literally had to learn how to make friends.

I did ALL OF THIS before I started reading ASF. Since I took care of all of this before hand and eliminated my "dorkness", once I mastered the techniques and theories of attraction...

I was UNSTOPPABLE!

(And I like to think I still am!)

My point - Geeks don't get laid. Neither do dorks, kooks, whiners, goofballs, or ass kissers.

Be a badass mother ****er. Don't fake it. BE.

There was a guy in one of these forums who decided to be cool, so he went out and bought a motorcycle and a leather jacket. I know this sounds too dorky to be true, but Im serious! You have probably read his posts!

They still sound like they are written by a girl!

This is not how to become "cool". Neither is painting your nails black, buying new rock boots, or shiny shirts.

I love when guys do this **** though, cause it makes for a great opener.. "Hey girls...Check out that kook over there! HAAAHaaHaa!"

David D had a sweet newsletter on this a while back. Ill try to see if I can find it. Until then, go out and watch Swingers. 10 times.

My favorite line from Swingers...

"Be like the guy in the Rated R movie."

People have posted here several times asking what was so great about that movie, and how it relates to picking up women.

The truth is, it doesn't.

But it is the BEST lesson about being cool there is!

The entire movie is about a guy (Mikey) who is cool (money , but he doesn't know it. His friends know it, but he just can't get it through his head, because he sees himself as a loser.

The movie is about getting over your self-limiting beliefs and living up to your potential. In the end of the movie, the cool guy in Mikey comes out, and it's awesome! His whole attitude changes...And he even starts being ****y and funny!

There is a cool guy in ALL OF YOU! Find him!

And Kill The Bunny!


Craig

PS Check out the original version of "The Nutty Professor" as well. I'm talking about the really old one. It's awesome!

 

[icepick]

Craig, when I read that tip you posted about "9 trillion women had sweaty monkey love with me from the BEACH!!!!!!!!!", I thought "Oh, here is another boner who is overcompensating for his previous dorkyness by banging as many women as he can before his dick goes limp."

After reading this post, I respect you dude. Knowing the "dorks" that haunted the halls of JH and HS, I can see that it must have been pretty hard. All those memories of kids picking on you. I was not the coolest kid in high school, but I remember that many of the "dorks" would be really stand-offish to me. They remembered things that I did to them, that I had already forgotten!

I mean, sometimes my bad memories bring me down, but that probably is nothing compared to your bad memories.

It is cool to see that even the uberdorks can turn thier lives around.

BTW, I was Mikey in swingers a year ago. All my friends respected me, said I was "money", tried to keep thier girlfriends away from me, thought I could "mack the hos", etc. But still, my confidence was in the gutter. I would think that the cute chicks that jumped on me had hidden agendas or something.

I was still cool as fuck though, maybe a little TOO cool...

Sometimes, people would tell me that I was too cool. I was almost stoic. I would lean back, smoke a cig, flow with the convo, etc. I would get chicks sometimes, but not as much as I do now. I think if you are cool to the point of not doing anything crazy/original, it may be a detrement to your sociability.

But, if you are using "cool" in a general, high school sense, yeah...being "cool" is...cool.

Now, if you dropped all the silly "techniques" and quit humpin' ladies like a rabid dog...we would be in complete agreement.

lol!

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Every girl wants someone who they think is better than them.

 

[Vassago]

HAhaahaaa...that was a joke dude! It was in response to some guy that posted about having sex with 52 women and he was 22 years old. It was obvious that he was full of it!

 

[Vassago]

I found that David D newsletter. If anyone wants it, let me know!

 

[icepick]

Originally posted by Vassago
HAhaahaaa...that was a joke dude! It was in response to some guy that posted about having sex with 52 women and he was 22 years old. It was obvious that he was full of it!

LOL! I see. It is not an unobtainable number though, I have met a few people that could lay claim to those kind of stats.

 

[Vassago]

Hahahaa...I happen to know someone VERY WELL who can lay claim to those kind of stats.

The reason I thought that dude was full of it is because he said he got BJ's from over 300 women. You know as well as I do that's a bunch of BS. My BJ to F-Close is ratio is about 2:1, if not higher. I've always been amazed by how many girls would rather give it up then give oral.

 

[icepick]

Originally posted by Vassago
I've always been amazed by how many girls would rather give it up then give oral.

I see where they are coming from. I would rather give it up than oral too. I put my schlong in places where I would NEVER put my mouth...

 

[Vassago]

Ok several people have asked me for this newsletter, so here it is. I feel it is one of the best pieces of seduction advice ever written. If you haven't subscribed to David D.'s free newsletter list, you need to do so ASAP!



DATING TIP: How To Act Around Women You Like...

------------------------------------------------------------
>To ADD yourself to this no-cost newsletter, just go to:

http://www.doubleyourdating.com

------------------------------------------------------------

HOW TO ACT AROUND WOMEN YOU LIKE...

I get a lot of questions from guys asking all kind of
questions about how to behave around women.

In fact, this might be one of the areas that guys want
to know about the most.

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past year or
so about the concept of being "cool".

In other words, I've been watching people (myself
included) to see if I could figure out why some people
are considered "cool" wile some are considered "uncool"...
and, more importantly, how to use this idea to have more
success with women.

So what is a "cool guy"?

And what is it about a guy who's "cool" that makes women
feel more attracted to him than an "uncool" guy?

Let me tell you a few quick mini-stories about guys I've
known who were UN-cool.

One friend I used to have LOVED to argue with people. He
would start arguments about anything, and always take the
opposite perspective on every topic. He did this with women
all the time too. I think he felt like he was coming across
as smart when he argued. Guess what? Women hated it, and
ran as soon as he started in. His guy friends hated it too,
by the way. He was UN-cool, because his insecurity was so
strong, that he had to argue to get attention.

Another friend I have always tries to do nice things and
favors for women he likes. As soon as he meets a woman he
likes, he tries to find something he can do for her. Of
course, he then gets upset when the woman doesn't return
the feelings of affection... and he acts upset and "taken
advantage of". This, of course, makes women run away. As
you can probably guess, he's trying to manipulate women
with favors. And women resent him for it. Women don't think
he's cool, and they avoid him.

I know one guy who loves to tell women how beautiful
they are, buy them drinks and dinners, and pursue them with
the "You're the greatest thing in the world, and I'm going
to chase you around and try to buy your attention". And
even though he's doing a lot of "nice" things for the
women he's interested in, he can't keep one around for
more than a date or two. Even his guy friends think that
he needs to calm down and act more "cool" in general.

Now, all three of the guys I've mentioned above have
different problems... but the way I see it, they're all
strangely related.

Here are a few more quick stories about guys I know
who are "cool".

One guy I know always has girls around him. In fact,
I don't think I've ever seen him WITHOUT at least one
girl with him. Usually he has three or four girls with
him... and sometimes up to 10 or 12. He always makes fun
of the girls, teases them, and treats them like good
friends who he's comfortable enough to bust on. He's not
rich, he doesn't buy things for women, and he doesn't
kiss up to them. He DOES, on the other hand, make it his
business to know where the "cool" places are in town,
where to go out, and who to call for the "inside track"
on where the hot spots are. Then he shows up at the door
to these hot spots with five women. EVERYONE who knows
him thinks of him as a "cool" guy.

I have another friend that is really amazing with
women. But he does something that's rather unusual
when he's around women. He kind of IGNORES them when
he first meets them. If he's out with friends, and
one of them introduces a female friend, he'll shake
her hand and say "hi", then TURN AWAY and go back to
whatever he was doing. Somehow, the women that are
around him always want to talk to HIM. And all the
guys he knows think of him as one of the coolest guys
around.

Finally, I have one friend who literally says
things to women like "You probably wouldn't like me.
I don't really have relationships with women. Our
relationship will probably go no further than the
physical..." If you've seen my Advanced DVD Program,
you probably remember him saying these exact words
when I'm interviewing him. He's so calm and laid
back around women that they have to often pursue
HIM... and it happens a lot. He's blunt, direct,
and honest about whatever is on his mind. He doesn't
chase women, buy them things, or smother them with
compliments... and yet, they love him. And he has
a crew of guy friends who all love him and think he's
one of the "coolest" guys in the world.

So what is it that separates the "cool" guys from
the "uncool" guys? What is "cool"?

What is it that makes a few rare people the kind
of people that EVERYONE wants to be around?

What is it about UN-cool guys that repels other
people, and makes women run away?

And what is it about this element that I'm calling
"cool" that makes guys who have it attract more women
than they can handle?

THE DEFINITION OF COOL

I personally think that being "cool" comes down to:

1) Being independent

2) Being indifferent

3) Being funny

4) Being socially adjusted

Before I get into each of these in detail, I want to
mention something...

Usually, I tend to stick to techniques to help you
meet more women, or give you advice to get past limiting
beliefs, etc.

I've realized recently that there are a few BASIC,
FUNDAMENTAL things that we, as guys, need to really "get"
about interacting with other people before we start
tryingt to learn advanced stuff, like how to approach
and meet women. If you don't have some of the basic stuff
handled, all the fancy techniques in the world won't fix
your problem.

So stick with me here, this is important stuff.

OK, so let's talk about the four components that I
mentioned above.

BEING INDEPENDENT

Independent is the OPPOSITE of "dependent".

When you act "dependent", you lean on others, you look
to them for approval, you ask what they think before you
make a decision, you tend to want to stay physically close
to them, and your feelings tend to depend on what others
feel and think of you.

When you act INDEPENDENT, you lean back, you do things
because YOU decided you wanted to, you don't ask others
what they think - instead you decide yourself, you are
fine walking away from your friends for awhile when you're
out, and your feelings are controlled by what YOU think,
not what others think.

A "dependent" person will go into a bar with friends,
stick close to them all night, ask what everyone else is
drinking before they order, get upset easily about things
that others say, and constantly be looking for attention
and approval in some way.

An INDEPENDENT person, on the other hand, will go into
a bar with friends and be more likely to... walk away and
look around the place ALONE to see who's there - and feel
fine about striking up a conversation and leaving their
friends for awhile... They'll order a drink if they want,
or water if they want - and not care what everyone else
is drinking... They'll be cool and calm no matter what
happens - even if others are getting upset around them...
And, most importantly, they aren't looking to others for
attention and approval. They're doing their own thing,
and enjoying whatever happens.

 

[Vassago]

PART 2

BEING INDIFFERENT

Most people in this world are ATTACHED to the outcomes
of things. They're constantly worrying about what's going
to happen... and talking about the future in a fearful,
uncertain way.

This type of person always wants to know what other
people think of them, and they're worrying about what
they should do so other people like them. Unfortunately,
this almost ALWAYS comes across as INSECURITY.

An INDIFFERENT person, on the other hand, just goes
about life and takes things as they come.

The indifferent person is INDIFFERENT to the outcome
of whatever situation they're in.

If it's a man, and he's approaching a woman, he will
be OK with whatever happens. If she's nice to him, great.
If she's uptight, no problem. If she's rich, famous, and
beautiful... and starts coming on to him, fine. No big
deal.

When you are ATTACHED to the outcome of a situation,
it makes you act all kinds of freaky. You pause, act
nervous, hold back, look for approval, act insecure...
and any of 100 other unattractive things.

On the other hand, when you're INDIFFERENT to the
outcome, it makes you MAGNETIC. Especially when it
comes to women and dating. Indifference is the
ultimate way to show a LACK of insecurity in life.

BEING FUNNY

Humor is magic.

It's a complete mystery why we find things "funny"
and why we "laugh".

Crying because someone died makes some logical
sense. It's a bad thing, and crying expresses a
negative emotion.

But when you see a dog run into a window because
he doesn't see it... and he gets a confused look on
his face, you LAUGH. What's with that?

Humor is interesting to me, in that if you're
funny, it makes people FEEL GOOD inside. They
laugh, and it triggers positive feelings.

If you're not naturally funny, it's a great skill
to learn. Read books. Watch live comedy. Do whatever
it takes to learn how to be funny.

Most of the "coolest" guys I know are wickedly
funny. Some of them are only funny on occasion...
but they "get it"... and when they do make a joke,
it's DAMN funny.

BEING SOCIALLY ADJUSTED

I know that this sounds funny, but most of the
people I know who are "UN-cool" are not very adjusted
socially.

They lack a certain something in the "social skills"
department that makes it OBVIOUS to others (and
especially women) that they don't know how to relate
very well to other people. They just never learned how
to make others feel comfortable around them.

If you've every known an accountant or computer
programmer that was brilliantly smart, but totally
boring, you know what I mean.

If people act kind of nervous, strange, and
uncomfortable when they're around you, then you also
know where I'm coming from on this.

I can't teach you how to make people feel
comfortable around you in two sentences, but if you
need to learn how to mix with people socially, then
start PAYING ATTENTION to what's going on around you.

Watch how others dress, hold themselves, walk,
and talk. Pay attention to little details... like
saying "What's up?" when you meet someone new, instead
of "Hello, pleased to meet you" and such.

...now, is this all there is to being "cool"?

Of course not.

But it's a great start.

If you can first get yourself to the place where
other people want to be around you just because they
enjoy your company, you'll find that taking things
to the next level with women will be about 10 times
easier.

I've had this conversation with MANY of the guys
I know who are successful with women, and they all
basically say the same thing... you have to learn how
to be "cool" and make others (women) feel comfortable
just being in the same room with you. And if you're
"cool", this happens almost instantly. If you're not
"cool", then you're going to have a hard time making
ANYONE feel comfortable with you... never mind having
a woman feel ATTRACTION for you.

Now, I've also realized that a lot of the materials
that I teach in my eBook and Advanced Dating Techniques
CD/DVD Program are aimed at this exact topic.

Even though I don't talk very much about this
concept (I will in the future, though), you'll notice
that many of the techniques you'll learn from my
materials will help you in a lot of areas of your
life... not just with women.

As a direct result of the things I've learned about
how to be more successful with women and dating, I've
ALSO become more successful at things like being
invited to "exclusive" parties, having famous and
successful people pursue me as a friend, and just
generally being invited into more "exclusive" social
circles.

Why is this?

Well, for one thing, people who know a lot of
"cool" or influential people are very careful about
who they "bring along" to gatherings with friends.

The LAST thing someone "cool" needs in their life
is an "UN-cool" person making a jackass of themselves
in front of all of their friends.

When you learn the art of being "cool", you start
to attract other cool people. And those people will
see that you're not insecure, emotionally unstable,
clingy, and such. They'll see that you know how to
handle yourself with other people (and with women),
and they'll start introducing you to other cool
people (and women) instead of running away from you.

I know that this newsletter is going to ignite
a whole series of letters to me about how learning
these concepts has done exactly what I'm talking
about for various guys (and I want to hear about it,
by the way, so make sure you write in to
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com).

Want more great ideas on how to be "cool", and
how to meet and date more women? I thought so.

If you haven't gotten your copy of my eBook
"Double Your Dating", and my Advanced Dating Techniques
CD/DVD Program yet, then that's the way.

I can't tell you how much I wish I would have had
this stuff when I was younger. It's taken me literally
YEARS to put all the pieces together, and I invite
you to take advantage of the time, effort, energy, and
money I've invested to create this stuff. Check it out,
you'll be glad you did.

My eBook is here:

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/

My Advanced Dating Techniques Program is here:

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/advancedseries/


I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.

Your Friend,

David D.




------------------------------------------------------------
(c) 2003 David DeAngelo Communications, Inc., All Rights
Reserved.

 

[donshawv]

yeah

i read that david d. letter a long time ago, and i have to say, it was definitely one of his most helpful ones.

i have to say, i also agree with you about the whole "be cooler than her" thing, however, i know a lot of guys who are "cooler" than the girls, and they should be able to get p*ssy, but they don't, they f*ck it up one way or another. so, it's also necessary to have the basic dj ideas in your mind at all times.

 

[n00berly Bastid]

Dude you are one badass mother. Can I be as cool as you? Teach me how!!!

this is what i look like now.......kinda nerdy eh?

EDIT: for the good of all the sosuave community, I have deleted the url.

 

[The-Missing-Link]

good post,
but how exactly do you become INDEPENDENT?
I moved to a new city a year ago and i just nexted the only "good" friend i made here. I try to make new friends but i can't because i think i'm too dependant on others approval
any suggestions?

 

[Vassago]

I think you need to ask yourself the question, WHY.

Why are too dependant on the approval of others?

Why isn't your own approval good enough?

 

[Revelry]

Becoming Independant

Best book I read on becoming independant was '7 Habits of Highly Effective Living' by Stephen Covey. There are a lot of others, but this covers most of the basics.

(sorry if we're not allowed references here)

Teaches you how to move on a CORE level from dependence to independence. And what independence truly means. Note: it doesn't mean pretending to be independent.

Lessons like working within your own circle of influence, and not letting what happens outside that have an effect on you, have worked for me immeasurably.

let me know if you want to know more.
------


Also, I disagree with DYD on being indifferent... one of the best values a guy can have is a passion for his goals and dreams. If this is to get the best possible g/f, then throw yourself at the goal with maximum energy. Note that this does NOT mean throwing yourself at the girl. There are tons of girls out there - don't get too hung up on one, without good reason - like you've been going out for a year, and she treats you well, and you treat her well. (Good reasons do NOT include 'she's fit', 'she's in the A-crowd' or 'It's the only girl I know').


Rev.

 

[Vassago]

Rev, good post and GREAT book.

DYD doesn't say to be indifferent to your life goals. Completely the opposite. What's iimportant is to be indifferent to the outcome with any one girl.

 

[The-Missing-Link]

To be honest i don't know why i depend on others so much. I asked myself this before. Don't get me wrong from time to time i feel like an independent man but than i slip back to being very dependent on other people's approval. Maybe it's because i'm some kind of perfectionist because i feel that i'm never good enough
Any other ideas?

 

[Revelry]

An INDIFFERENT person, on the other hand, just goes about life and takes things as they come.

Vassago - I've got DYDs stuff, and I know that he isn't trying to say that. However, in this 'quest for being cool', there should be a balance between APPEARING to not give a sh!t, and ACTUALLY not giving one.

I think what DYD was trying to say above was you should appear calm, cool and collected... whilst under the surface, the passions for goals may be raging.

One of my best characteristics (that gives me value) is my passion for things/life. The key is demonstrating this, without coming across as manic, or self-absorbed.

Interesting discussion though.

Rev.

 

[Oxide]

vassago, we strive for somebody else's opinion becuase of our insecurities and lack of confidence.

If you want to talk to a hot girl, you ask your wingman, "oh, man, look at her, should i go talk to her?" you ask becuase you lack the confidence and need someone to give u a boost. BUT, if the feedback is negative, your self esteem drops fater than a prom dress. Say your buddy goes "no man, she is too good for you" (i myself had this being said to me) then if u are inconfident you will get mad at yourself and sit there like a fool.

when someone told me that the girl i was about to walk up to was too good for me, i said "oh really? we'll see" and walked right up to her and started a convo. i kept her interested and i saw high IL.

basically, this whole thing is about not giving a **** about what other's think of you. you are the only thing that matters. remember that.

 

[TDOT]

Originally posted by Vassago
In order to get a girl, you must be AS COOL, if not COOLER than she is, and most importantly...

She Has To Know It!



All I can say on this post is wow.
You know what he is right.

Make it a contest and let her know that you are winning.
This will get you through just about any approach that you make on any female.

I guess this is bumple day for me.
I didn't know all this stuff was buried on this site.
These posts are true gold.