"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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the most important: how do you CONSTRUCT A DHV?

collalife

Senior Don Juan
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how do you construct a dhv? what are the best dhvs? anyone got any good dhv stories? would you be willing to show the formula for dhvs?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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slaog

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It comes from within. You need to think you're a high value person to act like it.

To go from thinking you're not good enough to you're more than good enough takes alot of mental work but it's well worth it. My game is really after improving over the last 6 months.
 

synergy1

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asking for a formula for demonstrating higher value means you are faking it at best. My only qualm with the mystery method is that it advocates faking this aspect of a man that should be natural.

But in answer to your question , I just tell a story that I find amusing. I have enough of them for whatever situation is on my mind. My life story is interesting , and telling other girls small entertaining parts gets them excited to get to know me more.
 

MotownMack

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Both the above answers have some truth to them.

I don't necessarily advocate lying, but faking or inflating it is subjective, and I don't have a problem with that.

This is my personal experience with it- the approach woman take to assessing your value initially, particularly in the hb8+ category, is largely a very cynical process for them. In other words, they start to look for reasons NOT to like you-in their own mind, testing you for value and congruency. In doing so, they will draw on past comments you've made, that you may have thought were insignificant or even taken completely wrong and out of context.

What I've witnessed kind of goes like this. You build a little DHV, they become interested, they then go into fantasy land and build even more HV that you may not have originally intended, hoping you are their prince charming. But then they realize they're actually starting to like you, and go about the process of deconstruction of your DHV- thru qualifiying, sh1t tests, etc. This is where the battle is won or lost.

Anyway, my point is, this process is kind of stacked against you. So, I personally have no qualms if the "higher value" they've originally interpreted is not entirely accurate. What a lot of guys do when things are going well- they can sense that the girl is reciprocating interest, and start to believe it might go somewhere-so they try to start prematurely managing expectations so the girl isn't disappointed (i.e. they're concerned that the value they've demonstrated is too high). They start thinking they already won at this stage so they let their guard down, or will start feel guilty or worry that they won't be able to live up to their expectations if her impression seems unrealistic-but if you do this, you're getting way ahead of yourself. Let them believe whatever silly thoughts they want, even if what they've interpreted is untrue or inflated. That's their problem. Because when they go through the 'deconstruction' phase, you will need all the DHV you can get, and having too much is better than not having enough.

I can't count how many times that I kicked myself for being a little "too honest" with a girl early on, about something that was pretty trivial, really-only to have it be completely taken out of context and exaggerated during this phase, as a reason to disqualify me. This adolescent process, I have come across in women time and time again-most of them do it. So reap all the DHV you can get while you can, and don't give them any ammo.

Hope that made sense.
 
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