"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
The most famous husband of a 13 year old has passed away
- Thread starter MatureDJ
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Veréngárda
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logicallefty
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Slowhandluke
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It was common back then. I think Darwin did the same thing. So did carol Lewis?
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MatureDJ
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I think she was technically a 1st cousin once removed.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
logicallefty
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Yeah I think your right, it wasn't first cousin I remember that much. I fooled around with my two second cousins when I was an early teenager so I can't say too much bout' this.
zekko
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It wasn't really common at the time, it was a huge scandal that ended his career as a top rock and roll star. You'd have to go back a little further for it to be common. Even in pioneer days, I think 14 or 15 was more acceptable. It wasn't unheard of though. Certainly it was more rare then than now. I'm not even sure it's legal now? When I was growing up, as long as your parents gave you permission, you could get married.
Elvis Presley reached an arrangement with Priscilla's parents for her to live with him when she was 14. The idea was he would marry her when she came of age and he wouldn't touch her until then, but there are rumors that arrangement didn't exactly hold up. I always wondered why Jerry Lee Lewis took so much guff for his situation when Elvis didn't.
Slowhandluke
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This is my take:
Jerry was a "mad man". He wasn't really mainstream or someone a woman would bring to her parents.
Having him marry a young innocent woman was bad enough, but also his cousin - that was scandalous at the time. Like you mention, other people in the past did it, and they weren't crucified for it. We may think of jerry not being a rebel. But he was at that time. A rebel playing the devils music should not be marrying young innocent women.
Also remember back then almost all women were considered innocent and should be protected from "bad" men.
The pioneer days was arround 1900. Jerry Lewis time was arround 1930. That's only 30 years. The time periods are not too different.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
zekko
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It's still that way, it's just that what is considered "innocent" these days has changed. A woman can be an outright ho and people will say she is empowered and taking charge of her sexuality.
A relative of mine got pregnant and married at 15. Still married over 40 years later.