Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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The most beta thing you have ever done

SayWhat

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Many of us on this forum have already gone through a major change in their lives, mainly becoming more alpha.

If we look back, we see what we did wrong with girls and (hopefully) can laugh with these situations now.

What are some of the most beta things you have ever done?

For me:

- I knew it was over with my girlfriend, she found someone else, but I didn't want to give up, so I wrote her a letter basically begging her back, gave it too her and said "read it, I'll wait outside your room for your decision". I don't know anymore what I wrote but I guarantee it was the most lame thing I ever wrote

- Same girl same periode. I went out and texted her I'll come over at night to talk things through. She said ok. But she wasn't awake, so I stood outside throwing rocks at her window to wake her, call her for over 30 times until she finally opened the window and said "let me sleep".

Fortunately I can laugh with these moments now as they were sooo wrong. But at that moment I didn't realize it.

Thanks SoSuave, the Dj Bible and so many guys on this forum!
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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spax

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Drove 5 hours to see a girl who dumped me over the phone...only to be dumped again in person and forced to sleep in a motel and drive back 5 hours the next day.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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"How much do you love me?
" More than you love me." (Thought it was 'romantic')
Ended up writing a huge love poem for how much I 'loved' her.
I still remember parts of the poem because it was s gay. It makes me wanna smash my head into a wall just thinking about it. Ooooh that was painfully gay.....
 

expos

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I'm sure we've all done stupid things. I've had women do some pretty embarrassing things to me as well....

Letters are always bad. Better to write an email, then send the email to yourself and save it in a folder. Never send it. I've never heard of a letter being successful at getting a chick back.

The worst, cringe-inducing thing I did:

I love to illustrate, sculpt, paint etc. I was able to draw a picture/ portrait of my ex-girlfriend from high school. I was pretty hung up on her after we broke up, for a couple of years actually. It was a nearly perfect illustration. I WAS going to give it her and even brought the thing to school - but I saved myself the embarrassment and ripped it up between classes one day and trashed it.

I'm so glad I avoided all the embarrassment.

I also cried on a phone and begged for a girl to give me another chance, and called the new guy she was seeing a "pu$$y" (he really was and I was ready to beat the sh!t out of him). She sort of dumped me for him and I was bitter about it. He dumped her 3 weeks later.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Partizan

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Bought flowers and professed my love one night for a female friend in college. Just sprung it on her without warning thinking that it was so romantic, she couldn't say no.

She said no.

On the plus side, I handled the rejection very well, thank god.
 

logicallefty

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After I had caught a b|tch cheating and dumped her, a few days later I called her and got all mushy and told her I missed her and wanted to work it out. She pretty much just laughed at me and said 'no way in he\_\_'.
 

In2theGame

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I dont think anyone can beat me in my beta moments lol. Fortunately I have been more of the alpha through out my life that would have girls throwing themselves at me. I have had a few bad moments in my teenage years mostly and with my first girlfriend, she wanted to break up with me and i was so upset. I wrote her a letter with flowers and made her a video tape of me, back then it was VHS tape and i began to cry on video LMAO! from what i remember, she threw the video out and flowers. This was in the late 1990's and then she cheated on me and i took her back after she was done with the guy. That first experience toughened me up big time from being a wuss.
 

In2theGame

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ImTheDoubleGreatest! said:
"How much do you love me?
" More than you love me." (Thought it was 'romantic')
Ended up writing a huge love poem for how much I 'loved' her.
I still remember parts of the poem because it was s gay. It makes me wanna smash my head into a wall just thinking about it. Ooooh that was painfully gay.....
LOL
 

In2theGame

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Mike32ct said:
I apologized for being too quiet on our first date. I told her that, "It must have been because I was thinking about how lucky I was to be with you."

<Cringe> <facepalm>
LOL mike! thats good.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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expos

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What's funny is that most of the women I got so upset about back then are disasters today. They look terrible, have ugly boyfriends/husbands, really went nowhere with their lives, and I wouldn't bang them today.
 

ColonelKilgore

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I never had a problem when I wanted to bang a girl, but when I met a girl I wanted to have a relationship with I turned into this Hollywood rom-com cliche with the flowers and constant gifts. I had this girlfriend a couple of years ago and I would drive her home and then I wouldnt let her out of the car - because I wanted to spend more time with her and I was sad to leave. Long story short - she was banging other dudes (alphas). Looking back it makes me wanna puke and what I should have done is kicked her right into her vagina so she'd end up flying out the car.
 

Dhoulmagus

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Anything I did with the first girl I ever had a chance at talking to.
 

Sir James

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In no particular order:

doing favors w/o reciprocity
crying
thinking she was different
thinking she would never lose interest
becoming needy/clingy
ceding power
adjusting my plans to accommodate hers
calling/texting too much
not recognizing signs/behaviors of low il (not willing to walk away)
writing silly poems/flowers/gifts, etc.
telling her I love her first


:kick:
 

sylvester the cat

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Took back a girl who not only stood me up but falsely accused me of giving her syphilis.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Between_The_Lines

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-after rejecting my request to see her (formed fwb) in person, I sent her a long sappy text asking her to be my girlfriend (thank you for that one loveshack!)
-cried when she first decided it's best that we go our separate ways (all the classic cliches weren't enough "it's not you, it's me" "I'm just so broken right now/ I need to fix myself" "I don't have you on the back burner or anything like that" "I hope to God that I made the right decision (letting you go)"
-reached back out after she pushed me away with several paragraphs worth of text (and actually got her...enter, more pain...)
-pushed her into meeting my family

Hurts just reflecting on all of these
 

LMFAO

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Helped a girl with a couple of college assignments when she was clearly leading me on saying she'd go out on a date and then flaking.

Very very typical of girls in college.
 

Roni_88

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I cried in front of her asking why she didn't want a relationship with me ( I was 18 but still very beta) .. I laugh about it today.. but all those beta moments help build up the better you.
 

Between_The_Lines

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expos said:
I love to illustrate, sculpt, paint etc. I was able to draw a picture/ portrait of my ex-girlfriend from high school. I was pretty hung up on her after we broke up, for a couple of years actually. It was a nearly perfect illustration. I WAS going to give it her and even brought the thing to school - but I saved myself the embarrassment and ripped it up between classes one day and trashed it.
Oh man, I draw too, and I thought drawing a portrait of my ex would have cemented her love and adoration for me. Jesus. I never gave it to her, but I sent her a cropped (teaser) version of it via text, basically just as bad. About two weeks after, we were hanging out, she pulls up her Instagram, she heads over to her profile's main page, and I ask her for her phone to check out her pics, to which she replies "Why? You probably know all of these by heart by now. You know you're always on my page." Hmmm, I wonder where that response came from...

Before getting back in touch with her, almost a year after our fwb relationship came to a close, close to two months since we had last communicated with one another, I sat trapped in an airport for close to two days, typical non-rev horror story, my oneitis hysteria raging inside, projecting thought after thought on her about how beautiful she is, how much of a good girl she is, so I decided to spend a solid 2-3 hours composing the 'perfect' e-mail to her, asking to get back in touch, hoping she's doing great, hoping she's happy, telling her how much I've changed, how I'd never let a good girl (like her) slip through my fingers again, that sort of shoot-me-now rancid desperate bullsh1t. Anyhow, I approach a woman in her late 50s/early 60s, tell her my story, ask her to read the email I'm about to send, and ask her whether or not she thinks I should send it to her. She tells me that it seems quite sincere, very heartfelt, and that I should give it a shot, send it to her. "Never ask women for advice on women" - right? RIGHT. :crackup:
I never did get around to sending that email to her, but I told her about how I composed it while waiting to land a seat back home, about how I asked a random older woman for her thoughts on my situation. Also, basically just as bad as sending it - a definite entry in the AFC Bible.
 

Zapp Brannigan

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Back when I still believed in the romantic clichés of poems, candy, and roses, there were a few mistakes I made.

Me and a girl were partnered up in a dancing related group, and in this class it's customary to say something like "good job" once you're finished. The Bruno Mars song "Just the Way You Are" was playing and I said "amazing job" I still cringe at that, but am happy things have chanced a lot since then.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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