DaedalusXXX
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2004
- Messages
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I decided to write this post after reading one individuals post on sexing a married woman, and after reviewing the post on a recent thread about my being married and still being a DJ.
Seeing that most of you cats are young, probably not very high ranking in your careers, mostly college student age as I can see, I will write this for the older DJ whom may happen to be in a long term relationship, or married, and simply seeks sexual gratification on the side.
Let's begin:
1. The question of morality.
Some of you want to be DJ's but are held back by your moral code. That is fine, I have no problem with that and I think it is valuable.
BUT
Others do not have such moral predispositions and enjoy the value that marriage or a long term relationship provides, while simultaneously enjoy the mental and physical stimulation that a chick on the side can provide. Being that you don't have any moral dispositions, the question you must ask yourself, is the same question the regular DJ who is not in a relationship must ask, and that is...
How to most efficiently get what you want, while minimizing the risk
What the RDJ (relationship don juan) wants, is to have his cake and eat it too. I ask, is something so wrong with that? We want the stability a long term relationship gives, and we want the the physical and mental gratification that hot chick at the gym can give.
IF THIS IS THE CASE...**** THE MORAL CRITICS...GET YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT...
2. The Art of Self-Preservation
In my experience, this is the key to being a successful RDJ. Remember, the primary goal is to have both a stable relationship, as well as hot numbers on the side. To do this, your must keep your stable relationship...well stable...which in most cases means that what she doesn't know, theoritically won't hurt her (make sure you protect yourself sexually).
What this really means is YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BE SLOPPY!!
Unlike the standard DJ, you can't attempt to hook up with any old chick on the block. You must be more observant, more patient, more disciplined, and have a screening process. In my experience the type of woman you are looking for will:
..........A) Have friends but not to many. Remember, to women, men are treasures, and like new jewlery, or new clothes, women want to talk about their new man. This is a problem because you don't want her to talk. But it is a rare woman who will say nothing to her close friend about the married hot guy she is fooling around with. So make sure you know not just the girl you want to boing, but the circle of friends she runs with. Remember, you are always going to be taking a risk, that is the price of getting a reward, but you want to minimize that risk always. Your girlfriend may not tell, but will her friends?
.........B) Your side girl must be willing to be part of a "Team". Most women who mess with married men, know that they are not the "one". Sometimes this is hard on their psyche so unless this is the kind of girl you are just going to boing once or twice and leave, then you have to be very observant about her state of mind. Someone believe it or not, are content with always being the other woman. If you can find one of these, she will be much less risky, than the woman who wants you all to herself. Typically these types of women, don't really ask many questions about your home life, although it may come up just out of curiosity, they don't pressure you one way or another about it.
.........C) Be Ex-wives. They have been there, and done that, are used to it and horney. Typically the have been a wife, and therefore feel subconsciously guilty about what there doing to the point where they don't want to talk about it to others. Be careful though.
.........D) Be Strippers. By nature of their job they keep secrets.
3. Managing the Relationship
This is critical, when you set up an on the side relationship, YOU MUST ALWAYS CONTROL THE TEMPO AND THE TONE OF THE RELATIONSHIP. My advice is do not see her more than once every few weeks, and do not talk to her more than twice a week, three times at the most. By distancing yourself it minimizes risk, and allows you to keep an emotional distance, which will eventually make it easier to exit. Remember, she has an understanding of the fact that you are in a long term relationship, so unlike a regular girlfriend, who demands more attention, the side girl has accepted the fact that your time is limited. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Another issue in relationship management is dating. Only take her places where if you are seen by someone, it is easily explainable, as a job obligation or something similar, etc. If possible, take her to parts of the city or outside the city where the odds of seeing someone you know are drastically reduced. Make sure she has a place without a roommate. Hotels are the places many guys get caught up. So if you want to boing her regularly, only pick a girl with her own pad.
4. Exiting The Relationship
Remember, you always have one out if you have managed the relationship right, and that is the out of being in a long term relationship. Now if you have keep the appropriate distance during the course of the relationship, then progressively limiting the communication with the side girl is important. Two things will typically happen: A) She will get the hint, and eventually the relationship will just dissipate of its own slowdown. or B) She will confront you, and you bring up the emotional struggle you are having lying all the time, and how you feel you are letting both women down, and that you just can't do it anymore. This typically works, because intuitively the other woman knows what you are saying is true. She may be upset, but if you do it right, she won't tell because she will treasure what you had.
That is it in a nutshell....obviously there are other issues I haven't addressed...similar to what I am going through now. But if you want to have your cake and eat it to...
Go get it...you are the alpha male...
Seeing that most of you cats are young, probably not very high ranking in your careers, mostly college student age as I can see, I will write this for the older DJ whom may happen to be in a long term relationship, or married, and simply seeks sexual gratification on the side.
Let's begin:
1. The question of morality.
Some of you want to be DJ's but are held back by your moral code. That is fine, I have no problem with that and I think it is valuable.
BUT
Others do not have such moral predispositions and enjoy the value that marriage or a long term relationship provides, while simultaneously enjoy the mental and physical stimulation that a chick on the side can provide. Being that you don't have any moral dispositions, the question you must ask yourself, is the same question the regular DJ who is not in a relationship must ask, and that is...
How to most efficiently get what you want, while minimizing the risk
What the RDJ (relationship don juan) wants, is to have his cake and eat it too. I ask, is something so wrong with that? We want the stability a long term relationship gives, and we want the the physical and mental gratification that hot chick at the gym can give.
IF THIS IS THE CASE...**** THE MORAL CRITICS...GET YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT...
2. The Art of Self-Preservation
In my experience, this is the key to being a successful RDJ. Remember, the primary goal is to have both a stable relationship, as well as hot numbers on the side. To do this, your must keep your stable relationship...well stable...which in most cases means that what she doesn't know, theoritically won't hurt her (make sure you protect yourself sexually).
What this really means is YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BE SLOPPY!!
Unlike the standard DJ, you can't attempt to hook up with any old chick on the block. You must be more observant, more patient, more disciplined, and have a screening process. In my experience the type of woman you are looking for will:
..........A) Have friends but not to many. Remember, to women, men are treasures, and like new jewlery, or new clothes, women want to talk about their new man. This is a problem because you don't want her to talk. But it is a rare woman who will say nothing to her close friend about the married hot guy she is fooling around with. So make sure you know not just the girl you want to boing, but the circle of friends she runs with. Remember, you are always going to be taking a risk, that is the price of getting a reward, but you want to minimize that risk always. Your girlfriend may not tell, but will her friends?
.........B) Your side girl must be willing to be part of a "Team". Most women who mess with married men, know that they are not the "one". Sometimes this is hard on their psyche so unless this is the kind of girl you are just going to boing once or twice and leave, then you have to be very observant about her state of mind. Someone believe it or not, are content with always being the other woman. If you can find one of these, she will be much less risky, than the woman who wants you all to herself. Typically these types of women, don't really ask many questions about your home life, although it may come up just out of curiosity, they don't pressure you one way or another about it.
.........C) Be Ex-wives. They have been there, and done that, are used to it and horney. Typically the have been a wife, and therefore feel subconsciously guilty about what there doing to the point where they don't want to talk about it to others. Be careful though.
.........D) Be Strippers. By nature of their job they keep secrets.
3. Managing the Relationship
This is critical, when you set up an on the side relationship, YOU MUST ALWAYS CONTROL THE TEMPO AND THE TONE OF THE RELATIONSHIP. My advice is do not see her more than once every few weeks, and do not talk to her more than twice a week, three times at the most. By distancing yourself it minimizes risk, and allows you to keep an emotional distance, which will eventually make it easier to exit. Remember, she has an understanding of the fact that you are in a long term relationship, so unlike a regular girlfriend, who demands more attention, the side girl has accepted the fact that your time is limited. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Another issue in relationship management is dating. Only take her places where if you are seen by someone, it is easily explainable, as a job obligation or something similar, etc. If possible, take her to parts of the city or outside the city where the odds of seeing someone you know are drastically reduced. Make sure she has a place without a roommate. Hotels are the places many guys get caught up. So if you want to boing her regularly, only pick a girl with her own pad.
4. Exiting The Relationship
Remember, you always have one out if you have managed the relationship right, and that is the out of being in a long term relationship. Now if you have keep the appropriate distance during the course of the relationship, then progressively limiting the communication with the side girl is important. Two things will typically happen: A) She will get the hint, and eventually the relationship will just dissipate of its own slowdown. or B) She will confront you, and you bring up the emotional struggle you are having lying all the time, and how you feel you are letting both women down, and that you just can't do it anymore. This typically works, because intuitively the other woman knows what you are saying is true. She may be upset, but if you do it right, she won't tell because she will treasure what you had.
That is it in a nutshell....obviously there are other issues I haven't addressed...similar to what I am going through now. But if you want to have your cake and eat it to...
Go get it...you are the alpha male...