"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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the moment you forget her

J

joekerr31

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recently had this chic in my head. nothing bad, just thinking of her when I shouldn't be wasting my time doing so.

long story short, she no longer is. it's a very strange sensation when you truly stop thinking about some chic that had totally grabbed your attention for number of months. it's like swimming through quicksand then suddenly you find yourself swimming through open water.

all I can say to those guys who find themselves thinking about some chic theat they've broken up with, asked out and got shot down, are unavailable but flirting, or whatever.... keep working towards forgetting her. Because the moment you do, suddenly the world is your playground and you feel great!

anyone else know the feeling I'm referring to?

J
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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W

WestCoaster

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Words of wisdom joekerr, thanks

Great stuff Joekerr, you obviously understand the true philosophies of being a DJ. And thanks for your response to my post. I've done the pedestal placing before, it's an act of insanity. I've been a royal AFC, and I probably succumb to that now and then before slapping myself. That's a state of misery.

Putting one's hopes, life, faith, and emotions in the hands of another is very unhealthy.

Yes, once you forget about the woman and move on, your life is freed up.

I remember on on again/off again relationship I had in college that lasted over a year. When I FINALLY let go of all of it, it was so refreshing. Suddenly the world was my playground and within a week I got a date with a gal much hotter, nicer, smarter, etc., than my ex-girlfriend.

My ex-girlfriend tried to reel me back in (of course, because she saw me with the new hottie) and even during that AFC part of my life, I said, no, I had moved on. She would've been a nightmare to be married to, and she wasn't that great looking either.

I just remember the freeing period when I finally got out of it and was determined not to get back in it. It was like a weight off my shoulders.
 
B

Bonhomme

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Yes, it's great.

Conversely, the moment you're putting more value on a gal (for potential dating purposes) than she's earned, is the time to bail on her.

Mad props, joekerr!
 
I

Immaculate

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how do you forget ? I still think about this goddamn girl I broke up with a long time ago because I screwed up the relationship .. I've had tons of girls since her but I haven't found one that made me forget.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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J

joekerr31

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you forget her by seeing her for what she is, versus some mythical angel you built her up to be in your own mind.

men are just as guilty as women of projecting their fantasies onto flesh and blood human beings.

as long as you make her the symbol of your ultimate desires, you are out right f*cked.

J
 
penkitten

penkitten

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actually many people do not realise the exact moment they forgot the old girl.
its like you break up and they are still in your heart and head and it messes with you and time passes and you think you will never stop feeling that way, then one day you just stop and you dont even realise it and you just move on.
and after you have moved on , then you say "oh wow i guess i got over her, good i never thought i would ."
 
I

Immaculate

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Yeah it is good. Though for some god damned reason I'm having a bit of a relapse. The last couple of weeks I've had my ex on my mind a fair bit. I don't know why. I've meet someone new and that is going well so why all these old feelings that I thought I had left behind?

Can't wait for them to piss off again.
 
I

Immaculate

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If you have truly forgotten about this girl and moved on, why are you posting about her??
 
T

Tazman

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How do you forget about a girl you see 3x a week? I made a weak attempt to get to a point where I could ask this girl out who works at a gym I go to. I never asked her out (for reasons which would require a seperate post on it's own). I eventually gave up the idea of approaching her and I started ignoring her presence. Since then she's been positioning herself in places where I can't avoid seeing her (I know she's doing it on purpose) and it's driving me nuts.

It actually makes my workouts harder because right when I'm beginning to forget about her, there she is......I would switch to another gym but going to this particular one is very convenient. I think it's harder because deep inside I feel like she wants me to approach her but my timing is way off (took way to long, and probably thinks I'm a puzzy for not doing anything) and it would be pretty awkward to try now.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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K

ketostix

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Originally posted by joekerr31
recently had this chic in my head. nothing bad, just thinking of her when I shouldn't be wasting my time doing so.

long story short, she no longer is. it's a very strange sensation when you truly stop thinking about some chic that had totally grabbed your attention for number of months. it's like swimming through quicksand then suddenly you find yourself swimming through open water.

all I can say to those guys who find themselves thinking about some chic theat they've broken up with, asked out and got shot down, are unavailable but flirting, or whatever.... keep working towards forgetting her. Because the moment you do, suddenly the world is your playground and you feel great!

anyone else know the feeling I'm referring to?

J
Click to expand...
Joeker, this is one of the best, most concise one-itis cure post I've seen. Yeah, you got to believe you'll feel better by letting go than holding on , or you won't want to do it.
 
K

ketostix

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Originally posted by Tazman
How do you forget about a girl you see 3x a week? I made a weak attempt to get to a point where I could ask this girl out who works at a gym I go to. I never asked her out (for reasons which would require a seperate post on it's own). I eventually gave up the idea of approaching her and I started ignoring her presence. Since then she's been positioning herself in places where I can't avoid seeing her (I know she's doing it on purpose) and it's driving me nuts.

It actually makes my workouts harder because right when I'm beginning to forget about her, there she is......I would switch to another gym but going to this particular one is very convenient. I think it's harder because deep inside I feel like she wants me to approach her but my timing is way off (took way to long, and probably thinks I'm a puzzy for not doing anything) and it would be pretty awkward to try now.
Click to expand...
So you showed her interest, but never approached her, then you gave up? It sounds like you did an inadvertent takeaway, and she noticed and now she's chasing your validation. I don't know, it sounds like this could be a better time to approach her than before. Just feel her out and if it goes OK, pitch a coffee date. If she doesn't seem interested, try to forget her for good knowing you did all that you could.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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