"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The Mature Man Theme Song

W

wait_out

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Location
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Ke$ha said:
[Chorus:]
D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R
You are a dinosaur
D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R
You are a dinosaur
O-L-D M-A-N
Your just an old man
Hitting on me what?
You need a cat scan

[Verse 1:]
Old man, why are you starrin' at me, mack on me and my friends?
It's kinda a creepy
You should be prowling around the Old folk's home
Come on dude!
Leave us alone

At first we thought that it was kind of ill when
We saw that you were like a billion
And still out tryin' to make a killin'
Get back to the museum

[Chorus:]
D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R
You are a dinosaur
D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R
You are a dinosaur
O-L-D M-A-N
Your just an old man
Hitting on me what?
You need a cat scan

Hey dinosaur, baby you're pre-historic
Hey dinosaur, that's what you are HA
Hey carnivore, you want my meat I know it
Hey dinosaur, that's what you are HA
Yea, you're pretty old

[Verse 2:]
Not long til' your a senior citizen
And you can strut around with that sexy tank of oxygen
Honey your toupee is fallin' to your left side
Get up and go bro!
Oh wait your fossilized HA!

Then you offered me a martini
Walk away with your hips with in sinking
Then you say, Honey wanna come with me
I'm about to barf seriously

[Chorus:]
D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R
You are a dinosaur
D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R
You are a dinosaur
O-L-D M-A-N
Your just an old man
Hitting on me what?
You need a cat scan

Hey dinosaur
baby, you're prehistoric
Hey dinosaur
That's what you are HA!
Hey carnivore
you want my meat, I know it
Hey dinosaur
That's what you are HA!

Hey dinosaur baby,
you're prehistoric
Hey dinosaur
That's what you are HA!
Hey carnivore
you want my meat, I know it
Hey dinosaur
That's what you are HA!

D-I-N-O-S-A
You are a dinosaur
D-I-N-O-S-A
That's what you are HA!
D-I-N-O-S-A
You are a dinosaur
D-I-N-O-S-A
That's what you are HA!
Click to expand...
Too bad her producers were born in '71 and '73 :D
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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zekko

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Messages
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Yesterday I was talking to this 21 year old girl I know - not flirting, just talking. Afterward my LTR came up and said "You know, she's young enough to be your daughter". And my response was "So are you, dear".
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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