The location dilemma: In what kind of environment can without much experience grow?

[Good Gao]

I might later write a rant about this but it does frustrate me that alongside looks, game, and other things, location is hardly talked about at all when it is just as important as the other factors. That said, it seems like both big cities and small towns have their advantages and disadvantages. In small towns you may run into people that are more close minded and the social circles might be tighter yet the competition is not as stiff. In big cities, there is usually an abundance of attractive women from various parts of the world yet the competition is very stiff as you will be going against rich guys, good looking guys, charismatic guys, and guys who are a mix of all three. College towns seem like a mirage, lots of hot young college girls but most of them will hook up with college guys and if they are hot the guys will usually be athletes or frat boys.

Now I would never tell some AFC to start cold approaching girls in a small town where he will build up a reputation fast (though tons of PUAs do this kind of thing unfortunately) but it would help to know where a young guy who is just learning game can thrive.

I get the feeling that if you put a guy who is just starting out in terms of learning game and improving himself in a place like say Los Angeles, his ego will be crushed because most of the decent looking girls are going after guys that are much higher quality than the newbie. On the other hand, if you put him in a small town then his options will be very limited because there won't be many girls his age around.

So in what kind of an environment can a guy who doesn't have that much experience with women but would like to become a DJ grow and turn himself into that guy? This should make for some interesting debate.

 

[dasein]

Cliche, but the only environment that matters when meeting women is between your ears.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Yes location matters a lot. Most women are groupthinkers so they will be attracted to one guy in front of their friends, but be attracted to a different type of guy when not around them.

 

[backbreaker]

OP you have an extremely warped view of location.


First of all, only 1-2% of the population if what you would call "Rich". So even in big cities. The odds that a female that you know a person that is "Rich" that is eligible are quite slim. I live in LA and I've lived in South Florida as well for a period of time the vast majority of women, even good looking women are not all on standby waiting for alpha 6'4 male trust fund baby dude to give them all call like you make it sound.

My wife has a ton of friends, a good portion of them are good looking, 2 of them i would probably even say are just as good looking or better looking , depending on what you like in a womans looks than my wife. one is engaged to a guy who makes maybe 60-70k a year who is not ugly but is not drop dead gorgeous.. dude was just in the right place at the right time basically and they click, the other is dating a pizza restaurant store manager and she makes more than he does. way more actually.


The thing is, its a numbers game, regardless of where you live. There is so much competition in big cities that women cannot afford to be as picky / stupid as women who live in small towns. Cost of living is no joke in LA "love" will only take you so far it's not like in little rock where you can live on the good part of town for 600 dollars a month rent, you couldn't live in a crackhouse in LA for 600 a month lol ,nother****er you better be able to pay some bills lol.

Just as important as that is the difference in culture. In most bigger cities, women are quite more liberal and are more likely to be single for a longer period of time. THe vast majority of people where I'm from for instance were married by the time they were 25. That's what you do down there. thats unheard of out here in LA. I know one person who is that young and married out here. My onenitius got married when she was 24. She will be 31 in 1 month and will have been married 7 years. I dont know one person at all out here in LA that's been married for 5 years lol that's not over the age of 60. She's So it's not only that you have "more women", you have more "single woman" and that helps the guys. It's a double whammy. 34 year old single guy in little rock is seriously out of place. He has no one to hit no becuase everyone is married and the ones that aren't are skanks. 34 year old single guy in LA is pretty damn normal and can hit some serious licks with women who spent their time studying, etc.


You go to starbucks in Little rock, every cute girl there is either married or has a serious BF. You go to the same starbucks in LA, it's the amount of people in the store, and you have single cute girls there doing homework and ****, not in serious relationships.

In big cities, there is usually an abundance of attractive women from various parts of the world yet the competition is very stiff as you will be going against rich guys, good looking guys, charismatic guys, and guys who are a mix of all three.

I'm pretty sure that a woman anywhere in the world is not going to date a guy who is not rich, good looking or charasmatic lol. Dude you got to bring SOMETHING to the table.

Now I would never tell some AFC to start cold approaching girls in a small town where he will build up a reputation fast (though tons of PUAs do this kind of thing unfortunately) but it would help to know where a young guy who is just learning game can thrive.

you have it exactly backwards. There might be more competition in a larger city but if you have your **** together, and hat's key, a woman is more than likely to give you a chance to see what you are about whereas in little rock where i'm from, if you don't fit the "mold" of what she's looking for you're done and there isn't much you can do about , because there are NO single attractive women in littler lock and the ones that are there, run the show.


there are lke, 2 million people in LA or something like that, and when I ived in little rock I saw 10x more "damn that's a good looking dude, what the **** is he doing with that warpig" type couples. And every "dime" you see is with a 6'3 crew cut white guy. Why shouldn't the be that's what they want and they run the market. in LA, not saying every ugly dude gets a hot girl but the playing field levels out. I was dating girls 2-3 points below what I am in little rock. I could count on one hand the number of black women back home that I would deem suitable to date, I can go to the mall right now and pick out 20 at least if that's what I wanted.

Out here 5's generally date 5-6's. A guy out here is not as prone to settle down with the first thing that looks him because there are more options and thus, it keeps the woman more realistic about their goals.


And if you are minority, there really isn't a positive point, because cheap cost living, to living in a rural area. I remember when I lived in Conway, which is a town of about 50k people and it's like 90% white, bible belt, dry county down but it's dirt cheap and that's where I had to live to stack my money for my first business, I'd routinely go to a movie and it be packed and i'm the only black guy there lol. People would hang around you becuase they thought it was cool to have a black guy friend, and there was nothing you could do to make the transition from "damn he's a cool dude" to "damn I want his **** inside me lol" to these women, that were worth it at least.

 

[Good Gao]

Cliche, but the only environment that matters when meeting women is between your ears.

Wrong, you are a moron with no life experience, do not post on this thread again.

 

[Good Gao]

Backbreaker I find your minority post interesting, being a Chinese guy myself I have had my experiences with this which differ from yours. Back in Vancouver I was very limited in the amount of women I could get, despite the large asian population, you did not see very many white women with asian men. I thought after I learned PUA I would be better than the average asian guy and approach these white girls, it just didn't work out. It became much worse too because a lot of the asian girls born in Canada tend to hate the idea of being with an asian guy and you commonly see them with white guys.

For me, moving from the ultra liberal place known as Vancouver to different places in the US turned my life around. In Minnesota I was with so many white girls that would be 8s in Vancouver and I even dated some Asian-White mixes. I have been with Asian women too which were hot and didn't have an issue of being with me.

I believe some cities out there such as Vancouver just have a grudge against certain races so the society there stops men from those races from having success with attractive women of almost any background.

Talk more about how kids saw it cool to have you as their black friend yet you couldn't get laid, what was going on there?

 

[Dhoulmagus]

OP you have an extremely warped view of location.


First of all, only 1-2% of the population if what you would call "Rich". So even in big cities. The odds that a female that you know a person that is "Rich" that is eligible are quite slim. I live in LA and I've lived in South Florida as well for a period of time the vast majority of women, even good looking women are not all on standby waiting for alpha 6'4 male trust fund baby dude to give them all call like you make it sound.

My wife has a ton of friends, a good portion of them are good looking, 2 of them i would probably even say are just as good looking or better looking , depending on what you like in a womans looks than my wife. one is engaged to a guy who makes maybe 60-70k a year who is not ugly but is not drop dead gorgeous.. dude was just in the right place at the right time basically and they click, the other is dating a pizza restaurant store manager and she makes more than he does. way more actually.


The thing is, its a numbers game, regardless of where you live. There is so much competition in big cities that women cannot afford to be as picky / stupid as women who live in small towns. Cost of living is no joke in LA "love" will only take you so far it's not like in little rock where you can live on the good part of town for 600 dollars a month rent, you couldn't live in a crackhouse in LA for 600 a month lol ,nother****er you better be able to pay some bills lol.

Just as important as that is the difference in culture. In most bigger cities, women are quite more liberal and are more likely to be single for a longer period of time. THe vast majority of people where I'm from for instance were married by the time they were 25. That's what you do down there. thats unheard of out here in LA. I know one person who is that young and married out here. My onenitius got married when she was 24. She will be 31 in 1 month and will have been married 7 years. I dont know one person at all out here in LA that's been married for 5 years lol that's not over the age of 60. She's So it's not only that you have "more women", you have more "single woman" and that helps the guys. It's a double whammy. 34 year old single guy in little rock is seriously out of place. He has no one to hit no becuase everyone is married and the ones that aren't are skanks. 34 year old single guy in LA is pretty damn normal and can hit some serious licks with women who spent their time studying, etc.


You go to starbucks in Little rock, every cute girl there is either married or has a serious BF. You go to the same starbucks in LA, it's the amount of people in the store, and you have single cute girls there doing homework and ****, not in serious relationships.



I'm pretty sure that a woman anywhere in the world is not going to date a guy who is not rich, good looking or charasmatic lol. Dude you got to bring SOMETHING to the table.





you have it exactly backwards. There might be more competition in a larger city but if you have your **** together, and hat's key, a woman is more than likely to give you a chance to see what you are about whereas in little rock where i'm from, if you don't fit the "mold" of what she's looking for you're done and there isn't much you can do about , because there are NO single attractive women in littler lock and the ones that are there, run the show.


there are lke, 2 million people in LA or something like that, and when I ived in little rock I saw 10x more "damn that's a good looking dude, what the **** is he doing with that warpig" type couples. And every "dime" you see is with a 6'3 crew cut white guy. Why shouldn't the be that's what they want and they run the market. in LA, not saying every ugly dude gets a hot girl but the playing field levels out. I was dating girls 2-3 points below what I am in little rock. I could count on one hand the number of black women back home that I would deem suitable to date, I can go to the mall right now and pick out 20 at least if that's what I wanted.

Out here 5's generally date 5-6's. A guy out here is not as prone to settle down with the first thing that looks him because there are more options and thus, it keeps the woman more realistic about their goals.


And if you are minority, there really isn't a positive point, because cheap cost living, to living in a rural area. I remember when I lived in Conway, which is a town of about 50k people and it's like 90% white, bible belt, dry county down but it's dirt cheap and that's where I had to live to stack my money for my first business, I'd routinely go to a movie and it be packed and i'm the only black guy there lol. People would hang around you becuase they thought it was cool to have a black guy friend, and there was nothing you could do to make the transition from "damn he's a cool dude" to "damn I want his **** inside me lol" to these women, that were worth it at least.

Exactly, the hot southern belle girls you see walking around on campus all have boyfriends from high school or only date guys from their hometowns. They usually go home on the weekends or stay home during summer or breaks. The ones that go to parties or bars are either *****s or with their hometown social circle. You are right about guys seeing me as cool. Everywhere I go white guys want to meet me and say whats up. They practically worship me because I'm a tall, muscular,good looking normal acting black guy. Only my closest friends know that I'm just a bitter jaded man inside. Girls on the other hand want nothing to do with me. They either ignore me or think I'm some a$$hole. I only get girls below my league and I am also eskimo brothers with my cousin.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Backbreaker I find your minority post interesting, being a Chinese guy myself I have had my experiences with this which differ from yours. Back in Vancouver I was very limited in the amount of women I could get, despite the large asian population, you did not see very many white women with asian men. I thought after I learned PUA I would be better than the average asian guy and approach these white girls, it just didn't work out. It became much worse too because a lot of the asian girls born in Canada tend to hate the idea of being with an asian guy and you commonly see them with white guys.

For me, moving from the ultra liberal place known as Vancouver to different places in the US turned my life around. In Minnesota I was with so many white girls that would be 8s in Vancouver and I even dated some Asian-White mixes. I have been with Asian women too which were hot and didn't have an issue of being with me.

I believe some cities out there such as Vancouver just have a grudge against certain races so the society there stops men from those races from having success with attractive women of almost any background.

Talk more about how kids saw it cool to have you as their black friend yet you couldn't get laid, what was going on there?

Move to a better place that you will have a chance at scoring some poon. My college experience has taught me that I have no business being in Tn. This is not my niche and there is nothing wrong with that. Tell to the ***** that says the grass isn't greener on the other side to go live in the middle of Alaska.

 

[backbreaker]

Exactly, the hot southern belle girls you see walking around on campus all have boyfriends from high school or only date guys from their hometowns. They usually go home on the weekends or stay home during summer or breaks. The ones that go to parties or bars are either *****s or with their hometown social circle. You are right about guys seeing me as cool. Everywhere I go white guys want to meet me and say whats up. They practically worship me because I'm a tall, muscular,good looking normal acting black guy. Only my closest friends know that I'm just a bitter jaded man inside. Girls on the other hand want nothing to do with me. They either ignore me or think I'm some a$$hole. I only get girls below my league and I am also eskimo brothers with my cousin.

even with my entire post, I still got laid. Once I learned what I was doing, I got laid quite a lot actually. I even had plates. Once I learned what I was doing, I kept plates.


I'm not bitter about my time in Arkansas, it taught me well. once I moved it was ish in a barrel. However, you just had tow ork too hard, to the point, where you could not do anything else. Zekko says this a lot and this was true for me living in little rock, getting laid had become full time job. Okay, go to the gym, okay go shopping for new wardrobe to wear out tonight, okay, where are you going, where ae you going tomorrow? no time for my own damn hobbies, no time for stuff that interests me, you had to keep churning, and I mean, i'm too intelligent of a person to live like that, where that's ALL i want to do. I could get laid today in LA without ever stepping foot in a bar/ club. The idea of that is laughable in little rock, there are just not enough women for that to happen.

 

[backbreaker]

And on top of all that, another factor you have to understand s that obsesity is higher in rural / hick areas than it's gonna be in, LA or NY.


IN other words let's say there are 2 million people in LA

1 million are women


of those, let's say 70% of them are over 18.


so of those 700,000 women let's say 40% of them are single


of those 280,000 let's say 80% of them are not ugly beyond repair lol. no matter what they do they will still be uglly


of those 224,000 let's say 15% of them are obese. there are not a lot of fat people in LA.


you have 190,400 eligible, datable women in metro LA. A woman can only be so ****ing picky when there are 190,399 more of them to chose from.



Little Rock has a metro population of 260k people.


okay of those 260k let's say half are women

of those 130k women let's say 70% are over 18


of those 91k let's say 30% are single


of those 27,300 let's say 20% of them are ugly beyond repair lol


of those 21,840 let's say 40% of them are overweight . There are, a lot of fat people in little rock lol

YOU GOT 8 THOUSAND WOMEN TO CHOSE FROM.


so yeah a chick in freaking west end that's single and is a legit HB7 is going to think she is a 9, she has more options than a hb 8 does from LA lol. GOOD options. there aren't as many eligible women to contend with. My oneitis who was a legit hb..8.5-9 from little rock could have just basically pointed at a guy and dated him. She didn't have to develop a personality, she din't have to develop anything. That would not have worked in LA.


I'm not even throwing in variables like, what if she just will not date a minority or what if she will not date a short guy. I'm just talking about, single, eligible decent women. Why should a woman who is 1 out of 8 thousand eligible women in a city of 250k + have to do anything besides pick and chose from guys who are carefully vetted between friends? Why risk it? she does not have to. That girl between her job, between her friends, is going to have them lined up to the point where unless you're just a true baller, she's not gonna be interested.



the above is why now my first advie to anyone, is to 1. figure out where they live and 2. if they want to seriously up the i dating life, get their money right and move, because you have a lot of guys in, the middle of Mississippi, thinking they are 5's and they are really 7's, etc dating / talkig to 7's who think they are 9.5's. it's really tilted. Larger liberal cities are a a DJ's paradise.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Backbreaker reading at your posts it seems you fail to realize something, its not a simple number name.

Its not that guy 1 meet girl 1 and thats it, guy 1 may fvck 10 girls therefore decreasing the ratio.

100 guys could take and keep out of the market more than 1000 girls, they dont need to have them as girlfriends or fvck buddies but just push up their standards or ego.

 

[backbreaker]

you're reaching.


The irony is, it's all a numbers game. If I talk to 10 women, 3 are going to be into me. of the 3 'm going to get 2 dates out of it. Of the 2 dates one of the dates gonna be a good date. A sales person can't sell **** without sales leads. Nor can a DJ, "DJ' women if there are not any single ones available.

 

[Good Gao]

Would the south be different for say an asian, latino, or maybe even a more ethnic looking white (say someone like Lazar Angelov)?

Here is what I am getting at Backbreaker, for you the south was a rough place simply because you are a black guy. If I was to bring you over to Vancouver, you could have your pick of highly attractive white women because black men are a novelty in Vancouver and throughout Canada. On the other hand, an Asian guy even if he has good looks, money, game, and status would struggle to get a lot of the white girls and even a lot of the more westernized asian girls there. For me, being an Asian guy with his **** together in places like Minnesota, Florida, and Texas gave me so many options as opposed to being in Vancouver.

It is why this whole race talk is so tricky and keeps going on. You seem to be doing quite well for yourself in CA because you are a black guy in CA. How could you be sure that say a Mexican guy who looks like Wilmer Valderrama would have the same success and won't feel like you did back in Arkansas?

 

[backbreaker]

Would the south be different for say an asian, latino, or maybe even a more ethnic looking white (say someone like Lazar Angelov)?

There is a decent Hispanic population in Arkansas. my oneitis was actually hispanic (Colombian), not white. She just got "claimed" by white people because she was hot lol.



however you are looking at it in the wrong lens. It's not that i'm black and you're chinese. It's that we're both "Different" and people in the south, really don't do "different". THere's not really levels of different. It's not even that girls did not think i was cute. There are so many options for single attractive women in the south that they don't HAVE to be inclusive is my point. Why?


It's no different than me. I don't have a white girl fetish. I date white women out of necessity and convenience. I like black women. In arkansas, while in high school i neer dated a white woman in my life nor did i really want to. I was perfectly content dating black cute chicks. It was once i got out of high school, and cute black women were not any longer concentrated in one area "(and more and more of them started having kids) that I HAD to venture outside of my race.


If my wife and i split and I ran into a very cute black chick I would not think twice about dating her if she fi what I wanted. What I"m trying to say is i don't really gt all bent out of shape about the "white women in X don't' want to date" type arguments that's not my stance.

black men are a novelty in Vancouver and throughout Canada.

They are a novelty in little rock. You know how many young, attractive african american business owners there are in Arkansas lol? not many. To the point where, I really didn't fit in anywhere anymore. The difference being that little rock is a very conservative town and Vancouver isn't.

How could you be sure that say a Mexican guy who looks like Wilmer Valderrama would have the same success and won't feel like you did back in Arkansas?

see above. it's not so much about what race you are / where you live as much as it is about liberal / conservative, close minded, open minded, etc.


But with larger cities, regardless the numbers are in your favor.

 

[Good Gao]

Nice to see you are doing well man. I am the same way with asian women but unfortunately I have an issue there. The ones who are right out of Asia are too different for me while most Asian american girls are loaded with self-hate and prefer white males. Have found exceptions and you can bet I chased them but they are anomalies.

As for the south, any word on the college towns there? It seems like the west coast and the south have college towns which are known for getting wild and having a lot of hot girls too. I would think that being away from parents and such, those girls would probably be open to experimenting with "different".

 

[dasein]

Wrong, you are a moron with no life experience, do not post on this thread again.

Hmmm, wonder what the problem could be here? :crazy:

BTW, request considered, denied.

 

[Good Gao]

Hmmm, wonder what the problem could be here? :crazy:

BTW, request considered, denied.

I took a sh*t today, what have you done with your life?

 

[Dhoulmagus]

I'm worried about moving out the south because I hear cost of living is higher everywhere else and I'm going to have school loans to pay off. My dad made too much money for me to get aid, but he doesn't care about me because I'm not a girl.

 

[backbreaker]

i have a little bit of time now

here is the thing when you break it down.


smaller cites = guys who live and die by social cirlce game will swear by smaller cities.

largre ies =- guys who live and die by cold approaching will swear by larger cities


there is no real right answer.


Take me. I have no real friends. I had to gte rid of my friends quote unquote as they were ****blocking / holding me back. All my family moved out of state. I had no cousins tha could hook me up with so and so, and i'm the oldest child by 7 years, i have no siblings that have cute friends sisters and **** like that. MY sister is less than half my age lol. **** any my brother now that i think about it.


I have never in my life now that i think about it, been hooked up by a friend / cousin/ anything like that. EVER. dman think about that. When I was in high school my little cousin had a girl who thought i was good looking but nothing ever came of it she was TO catch a predator status lol. My old business partner actually got mad at me for hitting on his sister who is 2 years younger than me she was HOT lol. She would have gotten it lol.


I just, cannot imagine a world where you have a friend and he's like "Hey man i went on a date with this chick and she had a banging friend and you should come with us next time". that **** dosn't exist for me. Or hanging out at a friends house and seeing a bunch of chicks there and getting at them. it just do not happen. EVERY last date I have ever been on in my life, either she approached me or i approached her.



I had a friend back in Conway, great family, he has 2 sisters that re like, 4 and 2 years lder htan him, he's the youngest. Went o a school there, everyone knew him, he's friends with everyone. lived there his entire life. Guy got married through his friends, when he got a divorce, he starts dating through his friends. Conway is so small he can go up to a hot chick and say hey know you from somewhere and name off 10 random dudes and she probably knows one of them lol, that's your opener. To someone like him, it's pointless to move to a bigger city where women are colder and the cost of living is higher. it makes no sense at all and i don't blame him.