The limits in being a challenge...

[HappyHobo]

This girl that proposed a date with me .. with just a set day
cancelled and that left me in dissapointment and i basically told her i wasn't goin to put up with her flaking out b/c that was the second time she has done it.... and basically when i told her she thought i was up set and angry... but i told her off in a calm manner....

I've also tried to avoid her... saying things such as ...like "you can't call me tonight its too late" and stuff like that
She thinks she has blown her chances with me and really feels bad about what she did..

So what should i do now... how should i take my next step?
Call her and straighting things up saying.. ill give her one last chance but if she blows it then were through and im moving on or what? And if she says yes to the one last chance should i ask her what a good time for her is and set that as the next date or should i tell her im busy and that I cant do anything this week?

 

[HuuBinh]

since she feels bad about it, u should tell her to make it up to you however u want it.

 

[HappyHobo]

Anybody else want to give it a shot?

 

[DreamyChick]

Originally posted by HappyHobo
Anybody else want to give it a shot?

Most of the DJs would say enough that's it, but I say give it one more try and give her the boot if she doesn't have a good excuse.

 

[HappyHobo]

Okay, give her another shot.. i plan to do that.. now will someone answer my other question?

 

[HappyHobo]

In my honest opinion I believe that a challenge is MUST for a relationship to bloom with a girl .. but only in the inception
If you keep being a challenge ... putting her off she will most likely move on to the next guy. What you must do is let her know how great you are first before you start being a challenge so she will not forget about you. That is how i've experienced it.

 

[Donny Brasco]

This is my favorite peace of advice

DO NOT SET UP DATES DAYS IN ADVANCE!!!!

Call her one night, you have tickets to the rockphestballetmonstertruckopera (that night) and your pal came down with the chickenpoxSARSmalaria and you need someone to get your beer whilst you watch the action, is she interested in making up for being a flakey *****??

I think she'll say yes, if she says no, NEXT her, tell her to call you when she pulls her head out of her a$$.

I did this once and actually bought the tickets at the gate with this girl, she was stunned at first but later found it funny, I think it was a pub crawl though.

 

[echo1212]

You must not under any circumstances date this girl. She has already disrepected you twice, and if you do call her up for another date, you lose all self respect and she will know that she can do whatever she wants to you and youll be ok with it. So even if you do end up dating she will always know this and have "hand", or control of the relationship. IF you must, tell her to come over to your place and maybeeeee she can make it up to you. Then use all means necessary to tap that arse but do not spend any money on her. Take her nowhere.

 

[princelydeeds]

I say no dates. Tell her to come over your house and take it from there. BUy a little dessert, then take it from there. What do you want from her? Are you looking for uv, or are you looking to bang her?

 

[HappyHobo]

I merely just want to date her and get a some of action along the way and maybe a LTR if I think she is worth it

 

[Quick]

I don't think you should call her. You're at a position of strength right now, but if you call and say you changed your mind, you're giving it back. I think it would be much better to let her call you. She'll be apologetic, and you can pretend to "give in", and she'll feel like she earned her way back in with you by being persistent. Set up a date that won't cost much. I would probably tell her she can cook me dinner to make it up to me.

 

[HappyHobo]

WOW thank you quick its abotu time somebody answered my f*cking question...
Out of the 748237 number of users who reply on here its amazing how only ONE seems to really understand and answers the poster's question....

Perhaps more thorough adivice would help me..

 

[HappyHobo]

Okay why dont you think its a good idea that i dont call..

why cant i call to tell her how i really feel about the situation
whats wrong with being honest??

 

[Nameless]

Okay why don’t you think its a good idea that i don’t call..

why cant i call to tell her how i really feel about the situation
whats wrong with being honest??

Its not about being honest or not, but as mentioned in previous posts, you now have the power in your hands. She should call YOU and make it up to you for being flaky TWICE. If you call her, it consciously/sub-consciously tells her that you NEED her and that she can get away with flaky behaviour and you’ll still be OK with it. You should show some self-respect and pride to her that you are in demand and that she needs to prove herself to you, not the other way around.

Of course not every rule is set in stone, and if it is a LONG (not 1 or 2 days) time before she calls - then she's either

a) not worth it as she wasn’t that interested in you

b) thought she blew her chances and is sulking or something like that.

Then and only then, try not to call her and if possible, see her/bump into her in person an talk about it.

Do I like USING CAPS too much? Maybe...

 

[HappyHobo]

My fellow don juan brothers..... have i got something to share with you all

Even though you guys told me not to call her, i did anyway...
but here is how the phone conversation went:

I basically told her how i felt.... I really was looking foward to our date... but when she cancelled i told her that she wasnt the person i thought she was.... and she was like alright... i agree...
and so we kind of ended it there... i guess it was mutual but after the phone call finished i felt so much better.

But here is somethign i must tell you guys... the reason she wasnt as interested in me before was beacuse when i told her off a phone call day before this she felt like i was angry and that i was treating her like my g/f already.

What i have learned is to never show a girl your emotion when you are just starting to talk with her.... never do this because i rememeber this had happened before...
my tone of voice wasnt really in the yelling , scolding tone but it was too serious and too emotional...
I advise you all to never make the same mistake i did... and when your going to tell a girl off do it in a fun way.... and a good mannered tone and DONT BY ALL MEANS be emotional about it.. cuz girls can feel that ... they have a sense for emotion...
and can feel it quite easily and thats not good... so you cant be sensitive or emotional ... never SHOW THAT YOU ARE!

Just so you know i have nexted her and i am moving on.. but from her .. one good thing did come out .. and that is what i have learned. I feel improved and better about myself and that is the important thing.

 

[D-Dizzle]

First, I would chill out a little and not let her know that your pissed. If I go out with a girl a few times and she does something I don't like then I will straighten her out. From the jump I would never let her know that she is having any affect on my brain.
Secondly, I think people have lots of things going on in their lives and you should never "next" after one diss. Give her a call and make plans for a weekday. Meanwhile, persue other women.

 

[Lone_raider]

Well I'll tell you what. I had a girl cancel two dates on me just recently. I had gotten her out twice and kissed her but then she began flaking. 3rd date she flaked out on, and I didn't contact her for a while, she began texting and calling me, we meet up a few times at the coffee shop, I set up another date and she backed out again! Well I said that's it, I'm never talking to her again, well about 4 days after no contact she starts to contact me. She wants to meet up but I just ignore her request, then her little HB mind can't comprehend why I'm not being a little puppy dog so she asks me if I'm gay through a text message, this after I kissed her lol. Anyway she keeps requesting to meet up with me and I tell her no with "whatever excuse you want here" every time. Finally about 8 days later I agree to meet up and she tells me she was joking about the gay thing, hopes I'm not mad and on and on! Then she starts suggesting dates and movies we should see and I just never gave an answer and acted disinterested. I met up with her again later in that week, basically because I was going to get a drink and she was there lol. So I talked to her for a bit and she ends up suggesting we go do something right on the spot and she drives me all around, takes me to some cool places in her city which is great because I don't know my around there to well.

But at this point I'm still upset with her, so I don't attempt to kiss her again, when she brought me back to my car I just said see ya, got in my car and left lol.

She disrespected me twice, and she'll have to do triple time to ever make up for it. In fact I have just put HER in the friendzone as of last night. I started talking about another girl I was seeing, she brought up past relationships of which the last was almost a year ago lol. It got kind of strange with what she revealed to me, think I've totally confused her by now which is good

Basically there is a point where she blows you off to many times and one more you would loose all your dignity. I have not initiated contact with her once in the last two weeks now, yet she has asked ME to go do something about every other day. I just stopped caring.

So I wouldn't ask her out again, make her do something for you first, what the hell, guys do all the work and the woman blows you off, more then once!!! She had her chances, she lost you and not the other way around.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by Donny Brasco
This is my favorite peace of advice

DO NOT SET UP DATES DAYS IN ADVANCE!!!!

Call her one night, you have tickets to the rockphestballetmonstertruckopera (that night)

do set up dates in advance if possible b/c hopefully you are busy enough that you arent just free whenever

though occasionally it is good to switch your style on her so that she knows that you are spontanious

 

[htemorp]

You lost. When you tell a girl off that you aren't gonna take that shiet of her ditching you. You're basically saying, "I was so looking forward to see you, then you ditched me. I am hurt and sad now." Doesn't matter how you say it, you are handing her the power and there aren't much to left for you. It's too late to change the game. What you should have done is to pretend it never happened, ignore her calls if she calls, don't call her.

There are many many threads like this, why don't u go research yourself.

 

[HappyHobo]

You lost. When you tell a girl off that you aren't gonna take that shiet of her ditching you. You're basically saying, "I was so looking forward to see you, then you ditched me. I am hurt and sad now."

No i have not lost... she is the one that has lost. I admit though i gave her too much power and sometimes it felt she lhad the upper hand on me. I will become conscious of this next time when im with a girl..

What i was trying to do.. is just to tell her that you cant pull that **** on me .. and that i wasnt goign to put up with it....
that was basically it... even if i said it like that i would still sound emotional.. what is a way i can say it so i dont sound emotional?

Your comments on this please.