The Letter

[HollowHorizon]

I wrote a letter to this girl about the other day when i first met her and i just wanted to let her know how i really feel so if you could give me some feed back on it that would be appreciated thanks ..it goes like this



Hey, Kelly

I will try to be honest as possible the reason I am writing this letter is plain and simply. I have to let you know how I feel about you and this is the only way I can express myself straight from the heart. First off, Thanks for showing me a good time last night. That makes me feel so good inside that completely turned my whole night around with just a few simple words. “You want to dance?” I looked up at you and got up without hesitation in those same few seconds I couldn’t picture someone like you to even speak to someone with my criteria.
That shows me how open minded you are. After the first song ended I pulled away. By mistake I sat back down and saw everyone dancing still, Normally I would have said oh well and forgot about it. Instead I felt that I had to at least apologize and finish the dance I was invited to. Let me tell you something. You have no idea how nervous I was. I could barley speak to you without a slight bit of choking up and trying not to sound like an idiot. Remember when I said I had ran out of things to say? I was trying to think way to hard to communicate with you when it would have been easy for me to do it with someone else. Now when I say this I am not sucking up in anyway or trying to earn any kind of points but in my point of view your perfect.
Your just so beautiful. I’m not just talking about your physical appearance, But inside your abilities to hear me but actually be listening and at the same time you would respect anything I would share with you. As I opened up and admitted things. Not once did you jump to judge me whatsoever. At one time not to long ago some of the things I did where horrible and flat out inhumane. I respected noone witch was a terrible thing. I know I have done many people great harm but most of all I harmed myself. I’m just trying to tell you is that you where a really big help. You hit me deep when I sensed that you really care for everyone and it’s a great thing to be part of that crowd. Last night I wasn’t feeling my best. I don’t know if you hadn’t have came over. I might have just left and did something I would regret. I had to let you know you made a difference in my life even if it was only for a few hours. Like I said at first I was so nervous, somehow in my crazy head I think that’s a really good thing. If I’m being nervous when I’m around a woman I find attractive it’s a good thing because any woman who can make me feel nervous, tense, Or even frightened just by her presents than she is quite an amazing woman. I could write forever on how good you really made me feel.
I cant tell you how grateful I am. You helped me and didn’t even know it. You are definitely one of a kind.
Well the light has come out of the sky and now I can see the sun rising. I been sitting here for hours writing each dental with thought. This is one of the hardest things I can attempt to do. If this makes you feel a little better when you get it that thought alone can give me confidence to finish. The hard part will be actually giving this to you but I promise you will get it. I have no intention to push you in the other direction nor get you within my grasp. I pretty much wanted to say a simple thank you but expressing gratitude isn’t simple. For me it has to be sincere, It has to come from my heart because sometimes my head is full of ****. Its really coming from my heart. I only really want one thing from you. I just want to be your friend. My old friends they weren’t friends more like old drug associates. Im not trying to make things seem so horrible because they aren’t. Life is good. That is something that I want you to be apart of and I could really use someone like you as a friend. If that’s good then I will always be there for you. ~Trust~.

Most of all I just wanted to let you know that girl….Your beautiful and I know your gorgeous on the outside but beyond that deep within you your even more prettier . I had to make shure you knew that. Someone had to tell you ….Never Change cuz I don’t think you could get any better. Thanks


Your Friend Truly
~Adam~

 

[Skel]

P.S. I am an AFC as you can tell

 

[ManOMan]

AFC AFC AFC AFC!!!

DO NOT SEND IT! this isnt 13th century france where letters like that are considered romantic. Nor is it the 5th grade passing notes.

This is a very passive way for you to get the girl you want. And you might as well just write her off.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Just put her up on a pedistal so she can look down on you. While she runs off with a real man or almost man and fawks him silly!

This is one of the weakest stuff I've seen on this board in a while. I couldn't read the entirety of you Sympin ( sympathetic to women...worse than an AFC) letter.

I hope you don't send this too her.

You obviously just come here and hang out and don't do any of the actual work such as read the bible or do the boot camp. If you did then you would of had this girl on your arm by now.

I can see your only 17 and not wise to the ways of mankind. But you really do need to do the WORK!

This is the problem with people who just come here and watch...

 

[Skel]

Indeed

 

[Alonso]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
Just put her up on a pedistal so she can look down on you. While she runs off with a real man or almost man and fawks him silly!

This is one of the weakest stuff I've seen on this board in a while. I couldn't read the entirety of you Sympin ( sympathetic to women...worse than an AFC) letter.

I hope you don't send this too her.

You obviously just come here and hang out and don't do any of the actual work such as read the bible or do the boot camp. If you did then you would of had this girl on your arm by now.

I can see your only 17 and not wise to the ways of mankind. But you really do need to do the WORK!

This is the problem with people who just come here and watch...

Well, but we can tell him why this seems like a bad idea (which I agree it does). Biggest reason, strikes me, is the scariness of admitting infatuation with a girl you just met. Seems way, way desperate and unrealistic.

Slight hijack:
While I agree that we are not living in the age of Cyrano -- can anyone explain to me why (and when) some smallish subset of girls will react extremely well to such overblown, unctuous, corny love letters from near-strangers. I agree that most girls will view such an alarming chump letter very negatively; but I have known a couple of guys who (through just being naiive but lucky, or through cynical calculation) have gotten tremendous results out of writing flowery letters/supplications to girls they barely know, proffering sappy and poorly-written love poems, etc. I think perhaps the girls' normal disdain for weakness is counter-balanced by some moronic, Shakespeare-In-Love-induced fantasy that they are now a glamorous princess being pursued not by a symp, but by an artiste or poet (who may become famous one day!). But has anyone else experienced the frustration of seeing other guys pull girls successfully with cheesy "love letter" tactics, when you know that if you tried the same you'd be shot down in an instant?

 

[Life-Trainee]

I had a real hard time reading it. Why would you want to send her such a letter??? You do nothing in it but diminish yourself. You got some esteem issues.

 

[ManOMan]

I have written love letters before, but to my Girlfriends of 1+ years or more. They love it, espececially if you make it somehwhat erotic.

This technique didnt work for me in the 5th grade and it will NEVER work for me.

This is an attempt to try to woo a girl at the comfort of your computer to avoid possible rejection, awkwardness or him possibly breaking down in tears.

 

[Jay Fiedler]

If you send this letter you will never ever have any chance with this girl other than her thinking you as some sort of weakling.

 

[Alonso]

Originally posted by ManOMan
This is an attempt to try to woo a girl at the comfort of your computer to avoid possible rejection, awkwardness or him possibly breaking down in tears.

This is an excellent point. When I look through the pages of my past failures (or when I scroll through some of the obviously-screwed-up situations I see here, e.g., guys thinking they are "in love" with online chat pals of a few months' duration), I realize how many guys shoot themselves in the foot by looking for an easy, risk-free way of courting.

Now, I can't say I blame them. Men enjoy the kill, not the thrill of the hunt. When men need to go shopping, they figure out exactly what they need, go to the store and state their product specifications (or better yet, do this online, where every make and model is readily searchable and accessible without any human interaction), pay, get it, and leave. No browsing. No haggling. When men want to make a point, they state it and move on.

So -- you'll see (and I've certainly fallen prey to) a lot of subterfuges aimed at getting women without risking rejection, or at "sneaking up" on them to avoid a direct conversational engagement (that might be embarrasssing).

In this category, I would place: online dating; courting by e-mail or text messaging (as opposed to phone calls); courting by phone calls (as opposed to in person); writing letters, or trying to have a friend communicate to her that you're interested in her; going to bars and waiting for girls to approach you; befriending girls as a non-threatening "first step" to seducing them. Well, anyone of these strategies could work, but they are very, very low yield -- trust me as I'm guilty of probably most of them. And I could always rationalize why it was better to e-mail her than to call her, or to call when I knew she'd be gone and leave a message, or . . . whatever else you can think of to excuse not confronting the unpleasant reality that women do like the pursuit, don't have much to lose or much shame to risk in treating dating as a ritual with prescribed male roles, and thus, define the terms of the game.

Of course men love it when they think they've found a way around those rituals, around exposing themselves to a direct, face-to-face rejection by a woman. Online dating is wildly popular with men, it seems, because they have the illusion that here, finally, is the shortcut they've been looking for -- they can type in the details of the product they want, browse till they find the exact make and model, and check out, all with no muss, no fuss, no rejection. Except it isn't that easy -- women don't want to be picked by computer, and don't want the courting process to be that easy, and are suspicious of men who do. So, you get some women using online dating, but not really to date, more to satisfy their separate Attention (to them) Deficit Disorder.

My advice (which I still strive to follow myself): Whenever you're contemplating communicating with a girl, especially communicating in a way that is intended to show and advance your interest in her, always ask yourself: "Is this the easy or indirect way to make this communication?" If it is an easier, or less-direct, or less-scary, or less-confrontational way than some other option, I would suggest that you are probably on the wrong track. Sweeping generalization, I know, but at least in this department, I have found that easy, low-risk approaches are also low-value approaches (and perceived as such by the seasoned consumers of male approaches).

 

[Walk this Way]

HollowHorizon, you need to make this letter a lot more romantic and mushy if you really want to live happily ever after with this goddess who is beautiful like a fairy princess. You should say things like "I'm drowning in your pretty eyes" [make sure you tell her you're not a good swimmer too] and "I am inferior to your highness." Thank her a few more times for actually going out with a subordinate half-human creature and use a purple curvy font because women love it when men reveal their feminine side. Tell her that girls are kinda scary and mean for you and that you are happy that she is not mean and scary and other bad things. Remember, the more girly and sensitive and teddy-bear-like you sound, the more she will feel sexually attracted to you.

Edit: Send her flowers and tell them you picked them in your flower garden all by yourself. That's the best ever man.

</sarcasm>

 

[WestCoaster]

If you want to lose her, send the letter

I skimmed and thought, uh oh, this guy is toast.

Everyone is right here -- except the guy saying give flowers. NEVER do that until you're fairly along into the relationship. Love letters are relationship killers. They scare girls off. Flowers are often killers, too.

Read the DJ Bible, and when you're done, read it again. Then do the boot camp. Get a grip, please.

If you're going to send a letter, send a ****y and funny one basically about nothing except having fun.

Youth is wasted on the young ... quit reading my post and go directly to the DJ Bible.

 

[JohnJones]

Originally posted by Alonso

Slight hijack:
While I agree that we are not living in the age of Cyrano -- can anyone explain to me why (and when) some smallish subset of girls will react extremely well to such overblown, unctuous, corny love letters from near-strangers. I agree that most girls will view such an alarming chump letter very negatively; but I have known a couple of guys who (through just being naiive but lucky, or through cynical calculation) have gotten tremendous results out of writing flowery letters/supplications to girls they barely know, proffering sappy and poorly-written love poems, etc. I think perhaps the girls' normal disdain for weakness is counter-balanced by some moronic, Shakespeare-In-Love-induced fantasy that they are now a glamorous princess being pursued not by a symp, but by an artiste or poet (who may become famous one day!). But has anyone else experienced the frustration of seeing other guys pull girls successfully with cheesy "love letter" tactics, when you know that if you tried the same you'd be shot down in an instant?

I always assumed it was because the attraction was already there. Meaning, just as a dull guy with no excitement or mystery or whatever, if he is good looking enough to her, can go pretty far.

I would also add that Cyrano (and all other real world woo-ers) had some kind of hard-ass reputation preceding them, so there would probably be little perceived weakness in the woman's eyes resulting from the letter.

 

[Reto]

I didn't make it past the first two lines...You poor soul...

I had a female friend a while back that I worked with. One of the shipping guys sent her a "letter of admiration". I will never forget the look of horror on her face. He had a shot up until this point. He completely blew it...

Send the letter. Look at her face. When you see it, you'll realize it was a mistake. You will never write another letter like this. You will never get this girl if you deliver this letter. It is a lesson you will not forget...

 

[Julian]

This HAS GOT to be a joke.

 

[Skel]

I wrote a letter to a girl once, it went like this...

Dear slut, thanks for the bootie last night. Hope we can do it again soon. Please dont tell my girlfriend.

P.S. Can you please leave my house now?

 

[JustDoItAlways]

If a chick sent this to me, I'm pretty sure I'd puke. And chicks are supposed to be nice and sweet.

Now imagine you're a girl and all your life you've been attracted to men who are the opposite of sweet and nice, ie. masculine. As someone said a chick would be horrified (right before she puked.)

Do you understand, chicks don't want "sweet", they want "sweat".

Change it to:

Hey, Kelly

Nice meeting you the other night. Let's get together.

I'm the man Adam

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

If you give that letter to her you might aswell just chop of your penis cause what is a penis without balls.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Hollow, I'm going to explain to you all that is wrong with your letter... so that in case everyone else wasn't clear enough that this letter should not be sent, you will better understand WHY it's not good to send this.

Hey, Kelly

I will try to be honest as possible

So it takes effort to be honest?

the reason I am writing this letter is plain and simply. I have to let you know how I feel about you and this is the only way I can express myself straight from the heart.

First lesson in seduction : What is clear, cut & dry is comforting for a man, and it might feel good to have everything on the level. However, as soon as you make your intentions known, any seductive element you possess is now thrown out the window becuase the woman knows what to expect, all the mystery is gone.

First off, Thanks for showing me a good time last night. That makes me feel so good inside that completely turned my whole night around with just a few simple words. “You want to dance?”

Have you never been asked to danse before?

I looked up at you and got up without hesitation in those same few seconds I couldn’t picture someone like you to even speak to someone with my criteria.

You might as well have said : You are a goddess, and I can't believe that you would even speak to someone as pathetic and low as I.

That shows me how open minded you are.

Open minded about what? Are you fat? Gay? Horribly disfigured? Look, it doesn't take an open mind to like someone... You like people for the way they are, for the things they do, and NOT for WHO they are. Unfortunately, it is easier to hate someone for who you are tho, and if you decide your friends for who they are, I would suggest a change of gameplan.

After the first song ended I pulled away. By mistake I sat back down and saw everyone dancing still, Normally I would have said oh well and forgot about it. Instead I felt that I had to at least apologize and finish the dance I was invited to.

DO NOT MAKE Apologies for your desires.
You should walk through life with no regrets. You made a mistake, and rather then trying to fix the past, just accept it and carry on.

Also, if you were so 'honoured' to dance with her, why would you have ended it so quickly? What stopped you from just going back and continue dancing with her?

You need to raise your own standard for yourself, I can't see you, but I KNOW that you are deserving of more then you give yourself credit for.

Let me tell you something. You have no idea how nervous I was. I could barley speak to you without a slight bit of choking up and trying not to sound like an idiot. Remember when I said I had ran out of things to say? I was trying to think way to hard to communicate with you when it would have been easy for me to do it with someone else.

Nervous? You were scared shytless!

Now when I say this I am not sucking up in anyway or trying to earn any kind of points but in my point of view your perfect.

This is a contradiction in terms. "I'm not sucking up, but PLEASE your majesty, PLEASE."

Your just so beautiful. I’m not just talking about your physical appearance, But inside your abilities to hear me but actually be listening and at the same time you would respect anything I would share with you.[/quote]

"PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAASE! You are a living goddess and I want you all for myself so I can show you off to my friends"

As I opened up and admitted things. Not once did you jump to judge me whatsoever. At one time not to long ago some of the things I did where horrible and flat out inhumane. I respected noone witch was a terrible thing. I know I have done many people great harm but most of all I harmed myself. I’m just trying to tell you is that you where a really big help. You hit me deep when I sensed that you really care for everyone and it’s a great thing to be part of that crowd.

Seduction lesson 2 : DO NOT admit your faults. When you are trying to court a woman, you want her to see you as a shining example of manhood, and when you go on blabbing about all the bad stuff you did, it will come off as either you seeking approval, or that you aren't happy with yourself... wait they are both almost the same.

There is however an exception, later on, it is good to show momentary weakness so that you can hide your true intentions. woman are intuitive mothers, and if you pull at that string they will find themselves trying to help you. But you are NOT at that point with this woman... odds are you are LJBF, but you don't know it yet.

Last night I wasn’t feeling my best. I don’t know if you hadn’t have came over. I might have just left and did something I would regret. I had to let you know you made a difference in my life even if it was only for a few hours.

"Thank you for blessing me with your presence, if not I might just have ended it all. It's all because of you, my goddess."

Seduction lesson 3 : In conversation, less is more. Many kings have been destroyed because their gift of gab revealed their weakness to their enemies.

Like I said at first I was so nervous, somehow in my crazy head I think that’s a really good thing. If I’m being nervous when I’m around a woman I find attractive it’s a good thing because any woman who can make me feel nervous, tense, Or even frightened just by her presents than she is quite an amazing woman. I could write forever on how good you really made me feel.
I cant tell you how grateful I am. You helped me and didn’t even know it. You are definitely one of a kind.
Well the light has come out of the sky and now I can see the sun rising. I been sitting here for hours writing each dental with thought. This is one of the hardest things I can attempt to do. If this makes you feel a little better when you get it that thought alone can give me confidence to finish. The hard part will be actually giving this to you but I promise you will get it. I have no intention to push you in the other direction nor get you within my grasp. I pretty much wanted to say a simple thank you but expressing gratitude isn’t simple. For me it has to be sincere, It has to come from my heart because sometimes my head is full of ****. Its really coming from my heart. I only really want one thing from you. I just want to be your friend. My old friends they weren’t friends more like old drug associates. Im not trying to make things seem so horrible because they aren’t. Life is good. That is something that I want you to be apart of and I could really use someone like you as a friend. If that’s good then I will always be there for you. ~Trust~.

Most of all I just wanted to let you know that girl….Your beautiful and I know your gorgeous on the outside but beyond that deep within you your even more prettier . I had to make shure you knew that. Someone had to tell you ….Never Change cuz I don’t think you could get any better. Thanks


Your Friend Truly
~Adam~

ok, the rest just hurts to read, and I'll start repeating myself... just DON"T GIVE THAT LETTER!

 

[WestCoaster]

From the DJ Newsletter

I receive the DJ Tip of the Day by e-mail and it's usually pretty good. The last one was so appropriate for our young AFC here. Here you go -- don't send that letter!!
***********************

TIP OF THE DAY


** Loose Lips Sink Ships **


I recently met a woman. She was beautiful, intelligent, funny,
everything I look for.

I was doing everything right in the beginning, maintaining a little
mystery and only giving a little information at a time. She passed
the kiss test on the first date, and I could tell her interest level
was high. We had this amazing incredible chemistry if you know what I
mean.

As we talked more and more, though, she was constantly asking me to
open up and share my thoughts and feelings, saying nothing in my mind
was too big or too small to tell her, don't hold back, etc.

Since she seemed trustworthy, and I liked her, I started to believe
her.

They have a saying in the military: "Loose lips sink ships" (referring
to people letting out sensitive information to the point where the
enemy knows enough to sink our naval ships). It's true in the
military and it's true in romance.

I started to tell her everything, what I liked about her, then how I
felt about her, etc. (I'm cringing as I write this, you should be
cringing too!) She was open with me as well but I was scaring her off.
My loose lips, my letting out too much, was sinking the ship of
possibilities with us.

We talked more and more deeply to the point where we were having deep
relationship talks which started causing relationship
misunderstandings and relationship issues, and and WE WEREN'T EVEN IN
A RELATIONSHIP!

All of this made things way more difficult than it should have been,
and of course disaster followed.

Here's the part where you can learn from my mistakes.

Guys, we all know the rules. There are stages for what you can talk
about with a woman and when (if you don't know what I'm talking about,
read the dj bible and read the archives). The rules exist for a
reason. They exist to protect you and to protect your possibilities
with women.

I thought I could break the rules and get away with it, and I was
wrong. Please for the sake of yourself, learn the rules and play by
the rules.

Jason