"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The Leporello Method

Leporello

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SO, after years of trial and error, i've finally managed to work out a way with chicks that works more than 50% of the time.

Here it is. Once I've met a girl casually and I think I'd like to date her, this is my usual pattern.

Date 1: I invite the girl to something which allows us to talk but gives us something automatic to talk about. Often this is an art museum because I tend to go for more cultured, better-educated girls who like that kind of thing. i also show that I can appreciate art without showing off. If we're still talking at the end of it i invite her to a cafe to contnue the chat.

Date 2: If date 1 went really well I might skip Date 2 and go right to Date 3. If I'm still a little unsure, I choose something that'll give me and the girl a chance for some low-key physical contact, like a move or karaoke. I always get a kiss by the end of this date. If she turns away, I don't call her again.

Date 3: Here's where I move in for the kill. I invite her to my place so I can cook dinner for her. Nothing over the top; no candles, no flowers on the table. I cook something mildly exotic but simple (Indian and Vietnamese are good, or one of the simpler French recipes. Sorry guys, pasta with red sauce doesn't cut it). I also serve a glass or two of wine, but not so much she thinks I'm trying to get her drunk.

Then, after dessert (always something with chocolate) I lead her into the bedroom. This is especially easy for me because my apartment is very high up and has a great view of the city. Once she's standing in front of the window I come up behind her and start giving her a light neck massage. if she doesn't object I start kissing her neck. The rest is history.

Anyway, that's what works for me. If you guys have your own variations (or suggestions/questions) I'd be happy to hear them.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Leporello

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hm, I thought it was a pretty good method...
 

Slickster

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Well if it works for you then don't worry about anything else.

Thanks for sharing!
 

BobMo'

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The only thing I might do differently is seduce her before feeding her.

Good tips!
 

Leporello

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PHAT Rabbit said:
A few things I disagree with. First off if a girl rejects you going in for a kiss and you take it as rejection im not sure why you're giving advice. Girls will put up LMR all the time you need to learn persistance..if she denies you wait 10 minutes and try again. If she denies you do it again.

Second thing is just my thing. I won't treat a girl to food until I've sealed the deal. Until than all dates are cost effective such as walk through park, museum, amusement park, ice cream, etc... I am a poor dental student though. Either way I don't spend money to impress a girl and never will. If I feel it's no big deal than I will do it but if I expect something inreturn than I won't do it.
I thought I was clear that I always got a kiss by the end of date 2. That doesn't mean I didn't try earlier.

Cooking at home is a fraction the cost of eating out at a restaurant. I usually spend as much for wine, dessert, and dinner for two people at home for the price of a main course at a mid-range restaurant.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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