Shivastorm_88
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2007
- Messages
- 408
- Reaction score
- 16
I know I will probably be antagonized for using this term, but hear me out:
In one of my social circles (my closest buddies) we are four, and we hang out a lot together, from simple stuff as chilling at one of our friend's house to going out with other friends, doing sports, etc.
Now I've been on a quest for a long time to really improve myself, my life, my interactions with others, etc. Basically, I've been trying to become more of a man, a DJ, an alpha male, or whatever you want to call it.
One awesome impact of this is I've had many people comment on how I seem to have grown, to become more mature, more approachable, more fun, etc. (this came from my family, my close friends or other friends as well).
This thread, however, is regarding my interactions with those three of my closest buddies. It seems that thanks to my quest of self-improvements, I've become more and more a natural leader. Without doing it in a bossy or obnoxious way, I naturally take charge of the group, and I sort of became the "father of the group". I'm usually the one that plans out stuff (obviously not everything, but I'd say 80% is me, 20% is the other three) and even when my other friends plan out something, they usually will tell me the idea and it ends up naturally that (if we are all up for it) I will be the one that ends up organizing it. I basically put myself in charge, and they accept it. However, I never act in a demeaning way, it's simply, again, natural for me to take charge. I noticed that very often they will seek my approval for various things, or leave the final say to me, and it's not because they are pussified or anything, they always make their own decisions when they are on their own, but when it comes to a group decision, it seems that they would rather delegate the task to me. I've also noticed something very recently that's a very good example of what I'm explaining... Here's an example:
Two of my buddies interacting together
Friend #1: Hey I feel like doing some sports today, let's go play some Tennis
Friend #2: Sure that works, let's go-go-go!
One friend interacting with me, example 1
Friend #1: Hey it would be really cool to do some sports today, got any idea?
One friend interacting with me, example 2
Friend #1: Hey it would be really cool to do some sports today, wanna play some tennis
One friend interacting with me, example 3
Friend #1: Hey it would be really cool to do some sports today, I'd like to play some tennis, you up for it?
To put this into words, when they interact between themselves, or with other of our friends, if they want to do something they will suggest that they do it. If they interact with me, they will either suggest something broad and see if I can find something, or they will suggest something specific but done in a different way, it's more like they are expecting my approval instead of saying "ok let's go do this now". Hard to describe, it's very subtle.
I also noticed that one of those buddies will often come to me for guidance or to ask me tips. The other two not so much, but then again, if I give them a tip about something usually they take it very seriously. It's hard to describe, but it seems that it's not just in term of actions that I have gained a certain authority, it's also in other aspects, such as counseling and guidance.
This is just with my closest buddies, but the same effects can be noted with all my social interactions. A while back, I used to be weak and backbone-less, I never organized anything and was counting on others to invite me (didn't happen very often). Now, it's the opposite, I became much more active, and as much as my schedule permits me, I will usually plan out stuff with various friends of mine and I simply naturally take charge, although I don't have for force it out.
The goal of this thread is not to boast, just to share some improvements that I've noticed about myself... If anyone has similar experiences, feel free to share, I'm curious to see how it is for others from this community!
In one of my social circles (my closest buddies) we are four, and we hang out a lot together, from simple stuff as chilling at one of our friend's house to going out with other friends, doing sports, etc.
Now I've been on a quest for a long time to really improve myself, my life, my interactions with others, etc. Basically, I've been trying to become more of a man, a DJ, an alpha male, or whatever you want to call it.
One awesome impact of this is I've had many people comment on how I seem to have grown, to become more mature, more approachable, more fun, etc. (this came from my family, my close friends or other friends as well).
This thread, however, is regarding my interactions with those three of my closest buddies. It seems that thanks to my quest of self-improvements, I've become more and more a natural leader. Without doing it in a bossy or obnoxious way, I naturally take charge of the group, and I sort of became the "father of the group". I'm usually the one that plans out stuff (obviously not everything, but I'd say 80% is me, 20% is the other three) and even when my other friends plan out something, they usually will tell me the idea and it ends up naturally that (if we are all up for it) I will be the one that ends up organizing it. I basically put myself in charge, and they accept it. However, I never act in a demeaning way, it's simply, again, natural for me to take charge. I noticed that very often they will seek my approval for various things, or leave the final say to me, and it's not because they are pussified or anything, they always make their own decisions when they are on their own, but when it comes to a group decision, it seems that they would rather delegate the task to me. I've also noticed something very recently that's a very good example of what I'm explaining... Here's an example:
Two of my buddies interacting together
Friend #1: Hey I feel like doing some sports today, let's go play some Tennis
Friend #2: Sure that works, let's go-go-go!
One friend interacting with me, example 1
Friend #1: Hey it would be really cool to do some sports today, got any idea?
One friend interacting with me, example 2
Friend #1: Hey it would be really cool to do some sports today, wanna play some tennis
One friend interacting with me, example 3
Friend #1: Hey it would be really cool to do some sports today, I'd like to play some tennis, you up for it?
To put this into words, when they interact between themselves, or with other of our friends, if they want to do something they will suggest that they do it. If they interact with me, they will either suggest something broad and see if I can find something, or they will suggest something specific but done in a different way, it's more like they are expecting my approval instead of saying "ok let's go do this now". Hard to describe, it's very subtle.
I also noticed that one of those buddies will often come to me for guidance or to ask me tips. The other two not so much, but then again, if I give them a tip about something usually they take it very seriously. It's hard to describe, but it seems that it's not just in term of actions that I have gained a certain authority, it's also in other aspects, such as counseling and guidance.
This is just with my closest buddies, but the same effects can be noted with all my social interactions. A while back, I used to be weak and backbone-less, I never organized anything and was counting on others to invite me (didn't happen very often). Now, it's the opposite, I became much more active, and as much as my schedule permits me, I will usually plan out stuff with various friends of mine and I simply naturally take charge, although I don't have for force it out.
The goal of this thread is not to boast, just to share some improvements that I've noticed about myself... If anyone has similar experiences, feel free to share, I'm curious to see how it is for others from this community!
