The Irony of the real DJ

[Leykis]

For six months I have lurked. Rarely posting, yet always somewhere behind the pane of glass infront of you. Hidden perhaps in Pook's prose, watching through the eyes of the cupcake at the top of the screen. Throughout this time, and indeed for some time before I arrived here, I have been struggling as many of you have. I'm talking to the majority of us here. Us, who were propelled here because of her, only to find out that she was never the problem, we were. This realization is one that many have had, and becomes undenyable when one spends enough time here. The words contained in these pages resonate with the experience of our past. Something deep in our subconsious that is never quite tangible is forced to acknowlege and consiously accept an inherent irony. The irony is that the frustration we feel is derived from within ourselves, and looking elsewhere for answers only compounds our problems. I have always felt that this is ironic becuase of the presumption that the overall aim of this site is to teach us how to attract women and thus alleviate our pain. After a time, I came to a profound realization. The aim of this site is to alleviate our pain and thus free ouselves from our own prison. From this perspective, it turns out that attracting women is merely one of the symptoms of the radical transformation that occurs once you truly buy into the paradigm shift that is the real gospel of this site. The real function of the material contained in this site has nothing to do with women. The power of this site lies in its ability to transform an AFC into a self sufficient man that has no real need for women. Once you have reached this position, the women come in droves as a conseqence.

If you are new to this site be glad. Not beacuse you will have the ellusive secret to attracting women, but rather because attracting women will be secondary to the liberation you will feel as you become a real man.

It is a realization and acceptance that borders on elightenment and it will change your entire life.

 

[Oxide]

amen. Another mind purified.

 

[honeyshark]

hallelujah brother!

 

[WestCoaster]

So true, preach on! (My experience with DJism)

Leykis, great post. Being a DJ is a freeing sensation, well at least it was for me. I started reading the articles, read some of the DJ Bible and so forth and it really transformed me as a person.

My shift came when a rejection or an acceptance by a woman did not alter my emotions as great as before. Sure, I'm human and rejection still doesn't sit well with me, and acceptance gets me pumped up. But after reading this site I learned not to be on such a rollercoaster.

I learned mainly to work on myself. To work out, do better at my career, walk down the street with my head held high saying hi to people and not worried if they looked or said hi back.

Because of this change I started attracting women I could only dream of in the past. I've dated women my age as well as those years younger than me, and most of them giving me the big hints that they wanted me to ask them out. I'm still not where I want to be in the romantic realm, but I'm sure as he-l headed in the right direction thanks to sosuave.com.

It's not just a website, it's a way of life!

 

[So pimp its scary]

I like this post, but I must take issue with a small section of this...

Originally posted by Leykis
If you are new to this site be glad. Not beacuse you will have the ellusive secret to attracting women, but rather because attracting women will be secondary to the liberation you will feel as you become a real man.

I would just change, "If you are new to this site, and willing to take action on what you read, be glad." Because, It's my guess that ALOT of the guys on this site read alot, and have alot of book smarts on seduction, but little to no practical experience. Maybe, its just that alot of people are in the stage of developing the 'inner' game, before going out into the big wide dangerous world of rejections, slu ts, liars, w hores, etc.
And without this practice there is no way that these people will ever get anywhere with women...

Other then that, I've went through almost exactly the same revelations...

 

[Leykis]

It's not just a website, it's a way of life!

Exactly! Its living from a different perspective. A perspective many others are never even aware of.

So many go their whole life without ever living. Without even seeing anything in the present but rather living through a filter of an unfulfilling past or an imagined future. Only to realize what they have missed at the last moment.

One of my favorite books is The Power of Now by Tolle. He says,

"The secret of life is to die before you die, and realize that there is no death"

If you live like this, fear evaporates. It is what Boot Camp teaches. You embrace your fear of rejection you find out that there is nothing to be afraid of. This can be applied to any aspect of your life.

Most people never realize this, and live out the rest of thier life in a self imposed prison. The power that they all have is never used simply because they dont know it exists. It is a tragedy.

 

[Leykis]

I would just change, "If you are new to this site, and willing to take action on what you read, be glad."

100% Agreed.

There are two requirements:

1) read the material on this site.

But most importantly...

2) Transfer that knowledge from your brain to your balls and use it.

All the knowlege in the world gets you nowhere without the courage to change. Without courage, this site is useless. Like anything in this world, you have to want it bad enough.

Change is always generated from within. All this site can do is plant the seed.

Your happiness is always a personal choice. The ability to see that this is true is the key.

 

[WestCoaster]

Agree with the no-fear attitude

Trust me, I'm far from perfecting the no-fear attitude, but I'm getting there. If you're not afraid of rejection from women, from getting a job, from trying something, you'll live a happier life.

I'll never forget the interview for the current job I have at a Western university. I flew over not caring if I got the job or not. I wasn't sure this is where I wanted to live (still not sure) and I went in with the attitude that if I get hired, great! If I don't, no biggie! It was the most confident I've ever felt in my life because I wasn't afraid of anything. They practically begged me to take the job. (Wish I could've bottled that day on the job interview, I'm not always that confident.)

There's a great football coach here in the Northwest called Frosty Westering, old guy who teaches at a small school, Pacific Lutheran. He's got all kinds of slogans, philosophies, and the such and he's won tons of games including some national titles. I read a story on his program and their QB said, "It's funny, when you're not worried about winning or losing, you're usually winning because you're more relaxed."

It works in sports, with women, and on the job. The no-fear factor. I haven't perfected it yet, but sosuave has really helped!

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

[in response to the original topic, and not the replies]Reproduction is as pure as life gets. This site shows us how to reproduce, fulfilling our main goal in life. Reproduction is indeed a step [and a huge one] on the way to happyness, but it is not a step that can be avoided. It is in our nature to need to reproduce... you don't have to buy into sosuave.com gospel, its imprinted in the genetic code that makes/maintains you.

This post reminds me of pooks "be true to yourself" post, where he asked everyone if they were sent through some machine to a parallel universe where AFC's reigned suprime and DJ's didn't get any, would you change your DJ self into an AFC to get women? He wanted everyone to say no, because that would show the utmost confidence and security in self. But it is the wrong answer... no matter what we learn, we are still humans with human boundries, reproduction is what drives us... happyness [when reproduction is coupled with other things] is a result.

 

[Leykis]

The ability to reproduce is yet another consequence of becoming a man. In fact it is one step further removed from the real change that this site helps you to realize. If you have become a real man, you will have no problem finding a suitable mate and thus no problem reproducing if that is what you wish to do.

Reproduction is not required for happiness. It is an event which brings happiness to many people, but it is one of many.

When Pook asks if you would become an AFC to get women in a parallel universe I believe the intent was to point out that women are not the key to happiness. Everything you need resides within yourself.

This is not to say you should not desire and seek after relationships with women. There is much joy to be found in sharing the full person you have become with someone else. In fact I believe that in order to truly apprieciate someone else (and for them to truly apprieciate you) it is a requirement to be truly happy within yourself first. The tragedy is that most people are not and dont even realize that they can be.

 

[Julius_Caesar]

I am reading the POWER OF NOW, um now. It is mind blowing. Have you learned to calm your mind? Have you felt that happiness he talks about?

 

[icepick]

The real function of the material contained in this site has nothing to do with women. The power of this site lies in its ability to transform an AFC into a self sufficient man that has no real need for women. Once you have reached this position, the women come in droves as a conseqence.

If you are new to this site be glad. Not beacuse you will have the ellusive secret to attracting women, but rather because attracting women will be secondary to the liberation you will feel as you become a real man.

It is a realization and acceptance that borders on elightenment and it will change your entire life.

You got it bud! The secret of life.

 

[WestCoaster]

Not following you on the reproduction

That's too Darwinesque or something for me. Why? Because a lot of people I know who have kids are frickin' miserable and a lot I know without are happy.

I agree kids can make you happy, but if your existence on this world is to reproduce you have one sorry a$$ life indeed.

Your 100 percent purpose should be the best man you can be with class, dignity, and respect for yourself and others -- and for you to live as you want (within laws of course) and not let society or something like reproduction dictate how you live.

Some of the best men alive never had children and some of the worst men alive had lots of kids.

It's all about respecting yourself and being the best person you can be, with or without a mate.

 

[E-Z Rider]

Originally posted by Leykis
The ability to reproduce is yet another consequence of becoming a man. In fact it is one step further removed from the real change that this site helps you to realize. If you have become a real man, you will have no problem finding a suitable mate and thus no problem reproducing if that is what you wish to do.

Reproduction is not required for happiness. It is an event which brings happiness to many people, but it is one of many.

When Pook asks if you would become an AFC to get women in a parallel universe I believe the intent was to point out that women are not the key to happiness. Everything you need resides within yourself.

This is not to say you should not desire and seek after relationships with women. There is much joy to be found in sharing the full person you have become with someone else. In fact I believe that in order to truly apprieciate someone else (and for them to truly apprieciate you) it is a requirement to be truly happy within yourself first. The tragedy is that most people are not and dont even realize that they can be.

Exactly. Even if being an AFC got you women, you would still be a happier man being a Don Juan. Women aren't the *key* to happiness, though under the right conditions they CAN most certainly bring happiness.

If you split your life into two spheres- success with women and happiness within yourself-, being an AFC you have neither. Being a DJ you have both. So synergistic. As an AFC, you sacrifice yourself for women, and get no results. As a DJ, you work for *yourself* first, and get results.

 

[icepick]

When Pook asks if you would become an AFC to get women in a parallel universe I believe the intent was to point out that women are not the key to happiness. Everything you need resides within yourself.

Not quite.

Would you even be here if you got the woman you wanted? Would you have ever changed?

Many people do get the woman that they want, and go through life (or at least until 40-50) without doing all of this nifty 'self-actualization' stuff.

Guys like you and me (and many others here) had some sort of "barrier" that came in between us and the girl that we were ga-ga over. We realized that there was a problem within us.

I ask you though...HOW did we realize this?

By NOT getting the girl.

I tell you what, I actually was doing just fine consigning myself to a life without any decent girls. I put my efforts into other things. Of course I hated it, but I was in the process of just giving up.

Then the girl pops in and shows me what is wrong with my life.

My problems were mostly confidence oriented, so I was "turned around" pretty quickly. I saw that the only thing that was holding me back from her was my supremely low confidence in myself.

It took a girl for me to even realize that my life was not worth living--and more importantly--WHY it was not worth living.

So, if there was a "parallel universe" where AFCs got all the chicks, I would say that being an AFC would be the way to go.

Violating the natural way of things (the laws of attraction) just causes misery. In this parallel universe, if the "natural way of things" is to be an AFC...then AFC it is! Not for the girls, but for the "way of things" that they represent.

I don't know if I explained it right, so let me use an analogy.

Girls are like TEACHERS or GRADES in school. They give tests, homework, etc.

Life is like your JOB that you get after school. (Lets suspend reality here and assume that school actually teaches you USEFUL skills.)

YOU, as a student, your goal is the JOB after school. The test grades you get kind of give you a little feedback on what job you will get.

You don't want to study for the TESTS, you want to study for the SUBJECT. Your goals lie beyond the confines of papers, and essays, and bubbles, and grades.

For example, if you study math, your goal is not to 'memerize the equation'; your goal is to get used to the math well enough to describe something in mathematical terms.

You should get good grades on tests, but you shouldn't focus on them. If you are failing them (striking out with women), then you most likely don't know the material, and will probably end up with a sh*tty job/life.

I hope someone understands this rambling of mine...

 

[WestCoaster]

Icepick, women are awful teachers

Well, they are teachers, but their tests are wrong, not applicable, outdated, and useless. Women are the worst teachers because they not only don't know their subject matter, they don't know themselves.

Case in point: 9 times out of 10 a woman will pick the complete wrong guy for her, the abuser or user, or both. They gravitate towards scum. I don't want a beyotch who does this to teach me anything. (Again, that's the American beyotch; Latinos, Asians, Scandinavians, Europeans, Aussies, etc., haven't been corrupted by our sick culture.)

Women may be putting tests on you, but look who is giving the test? Usually a woman who has purged herself at least once in her lifetime, a woman who craves criminals or dirtbags, a woman who believes Rosie, Oprah, and Madonna are gospel.

A woman who thinks classy, successful, independent men are not as good as low-life scrum.

The best teachers are on this site. Read the articles. Allen Thompson, Pook, etc. Now THAT'S teaching.

 

[Leykis]

I am reading the POWER OF NOW, um now. It is mind blowing. Have you learned to calm your mind? Have you felt that happiness he talks about?

Julius, It has been some time since I first read this book. I agree, it is mind blowing. I started bending the corners of the pages I wanted to review when I read the book the second time and after I finished every third page was marked. I have since read many other books that discuss the topic of present moment awareness.

So have I learned to calm my mind?

No.

Well not in the way Tolle suggests is possible. Tolle in my opinion is quite arrogant in acting as this type of enlightenment can be easily mastered and applied to every situation in your life. He acts as if this is easy. Of course he describes his transformation as if he were struck by lightning one day and was instantly changed. If only mastering the DJ skills were that easy.

On the other hand, I have been able to apply many of the ideas from this book to many situations in my life and it has helped me tremendously. Just about everything in that book is true. In fact its actually undenyable once you see it. Very much like like the great DJ bible posts, you read it and you just know its true.

Also, Tolle acts as if this is his original idea. It is not. Buddihism in its many forms follows exactly the same principles that Tolle indirectly claims as his own. His book in my opinion is a great first book to read on the subject of happiness, its beauty lies in its truthful simplicity.

There are many parallels that can be seen between that book and sosuave.

My favorite quote from that book that I think applies to this site ohh so well is the following...

"This is your crucifixion, let it become your resurrection and ascension."

 

[Leykis]

Would you even be here if you got the woman you wanted? Would you have ever changed?

Many people do get the woman that they want, and go through life (or at least until 40-50) without doing all of this nifty 'self-actualization' stuff.

Guys like you and me (and many others here) had some sort of "barrier" that came in between us and the girl that we were ga-ga over. We realized that there was a problem within us.

I agree with this. Its funny there is probably one woman for every man on this site who showed him his soul. Unintentionally of course.

I know I have mine. The irony is that today I would thank her. All of the pain I thought she caused at the time is what showed me my own faults. It seems that the hard way is the only way to learn this valuable lesson as many of us have.

Would I take this oh so perfect woman back? ha, Not if she were the last woman on earth. If she could be so lucky.

I tell you what, I actually was doing just fine consigning myself to a life without any decent girls. I put my efforts into other things. Of course I hated it, but I was in the process of just giving up.

Then the girl pops in and shows me what is wrong with my life.

Here is where I think your logic is flawed. I would say you were actually not doing "just fine". As you said, you hated it. It is because there was something wrong with your life that the WRONG girl "pops" in and this fundamentally flawed relationship was painful.

You allowed the wrong girl into your life, you kept her in your life, and you in the end probably begged her to stay in you life. This is no knock on you as I stated above we have all done this. I for one have.

As a DJ you do not allow this to happen. You would never have been with her in the first place. She was not worthy.

As far as the parallel universe question, much of AFC behavior is defined in terms of getting and keeping chicks. Or rather the lack there of. Therfore if AFC behavior got you chicks and kept them, it would not be AFC behavior. It would be good DJ'ing.

This being said, If you define AFC behavior as letting your happiness rest on the acceptance or rejection of chicks. There is no universe in which I would be an AFC. That is what I meant in response to Pook's question.

 

[icepick]

WestCoaster:

Well, they are teachers, but their tests are wrong, not applicable, outdated, and useless. Women are the worst teachers because they not only don't know their subject matter, they don't know themselves.

Case in point: 9 times out of 10 a woman will pick the complete wrong guy for her, the abuser or user, or both. They gravitate towards scum. I don't want a beyotch who does this to teach me anything. (Again, that's the American beyotch; Latinos, Asians, Scandinavians, Europeans, Aussies, etc., haven't been corrupted by our sick culture.)

Women may be putting tests on you, but look who is giving the test? Usually a woman who has purged herself at least once in her lifetime, a woman who craves criminals or dirtbags, a woman who believes Rosie, Oprah, and Madonna are gospel.

A woman who thinks classy, successful, independent men are not as good as low-life scrum.

The best teachers are on this site. Read the articles. Allen Thompson, Pook, etc. Now THAT'S teaching.

Aww. All women don't gravitate towards scum.

One thing I realized (that I actually LIKE!) is that 'politeness' or 'niceness' has nothing to do with getting women. I am glad. I am not nice. BUT I am not scum!

Attraction/gravitation is its own world in and of itself. It has nothing to do with classiness, success, or whatever.

Leykis:

Here is where I think your logic is flawed. I would say you were actually not doing "just fine". As you said, you hated it. It is because there was something wrong with your life that the WRONG girl "pops" in and this fundamentally flawed relationship was painful.

You allowed the wrong girl into your life, you kept her in your life, and you in the end probably begged her to stay in you life. This is no knock on you as I stated above we have all done this. I for one have.

As a DJ you do not allow this to happen. You would never have been with her in the first place. She was not worthy.

As far as the parallel universe question, much of AFC behavior is defined in terms of getting and keeping chicks. Or rather the lack there of. Therfore if AFC behavior got you chicks and kept them, it would not be AFC behavior. It would be good DJ'ing.

This being said, If you define AFC behavior as letting your happiness rest on the acceptance or rejection of chicks. There is no universe in which I would be an AFC. That is what I meant in response to Pook's question.

Well, I have never taken any sh*t from women. Learned that lesson when I was 13 or so.

I was always too picky. The women had to be super beautiful, and the SECOND that she did something I didn't like, I just cut off all contact.

Many times something like this would happen:

Her - why don't you ever call me?

Me - i dunno

Her - what are you doing this weekend

Me- nothing. listen, i gotta go. bu-bye

Then I had a LONG streak where nothing happened for me. (I always let the women initiate stuff.) And a really cool girl crossed my path, but I was too underconfident to do anything about it.

My problem was I would always wait for the girl to initiate everything because I had no confidence in myself. I guess I wasn't 'AFC' in your sense, but I still wasn't getting any.

I guess we be comparin oranges and apples.

 

[Bonhomme]

Excellent, Leykis

.