The invisible ware-wolf lady

[backbreaker]

I got a friend.. to save him more shame than he has gone through already let's call him aaron. this dude done been single since ****ing fertile crescent times. So I'm chilling one night bought a month ago and dude texts me out the blue he's engaged! I'm like what bro to who lol.rhey literally just met that day. He said he just knew and so did she.


So inquiring minds want to met this woman. So we invite them over for dinner and drinks. She's cute enough but more importantly they look genuinely happy. I thought well who am I to tel you what makes you happy you know? Fdr met ladybird and proposed the first date. sometimes you just know I suppose


So we get to drinking. No kids around they gone for the month (**** yes lol though I miss my rug rats) . So my wife who is known to blow a tree or four from time to time breaks out some loud I could smell from outside lol. wasn't what I had planned but **** it lol.


So we all start smoking and I'm noticing Becky done got quiet. Everyone trips differently you know oh well.now she talking to herself. Oh **** now she answering herself.

So Aaron goes to pee and she snaps. ****has hit the fan. "So you just go **** her right in front of me huh" oh **** lol here we go. My wife is like who is he ****ing? She was like "you know you see that ware-wolf ***** all through the bathroom door and suck his ****". That was the exact moment I dropped my glass and fell on the floor in tears.


Now I have downed an entire bottle of 1800 lol I've smoked about 3 blunts and by now I've given up any pretense of not laughing my ass off. I'm ****ing rolling lol. Now I'm getting them on lol I'm like what did he do becky..? That mother-****er lol. I know you ain't to let that **** slide becky you go let him embarrassed you like that? How you go let him **** a ware-wolf in front of you lol. Poor Aaron has no ****ing. Our what to do and I'm too throwed to give a **** at this point. This went on for about 1 hour and after I got tied of laughing I went in my bathroom, got an Ambien and gave it to her and she was out like a light post.


Now if your girl accused you of ****ing invisible ware-wolf s ts about time to go lol. he didn't. he did the opposite. He bought a ring and moved her in. He told me that my dog tripped her out. I do have an Alaskan husky and he does kinda look ware woofy lol okay maybe a bad trip chalk it up.

So 2 weeks later he calls me sobbing. Apparently Aaron failed the invisible ware-wolf paternity test and Aaron is in fact the father of the invisible ware-wolf woman's invisible baby.i bull **** you not.these are the words that came out of her mouth. So she grabs her **** and calls a ride and leaves.


Aaron doesn't know what to do but he really is crazy about this crazy girl so I try give legit advice. I used to do drugs. If it's a drug tip she will come down realize she was high and come back home.

After a week lol he is calling everywhere. She picks up he phone at her mom's house! She's okay. She I'll b back tomorrow.

Doesn't show. Now he's worried. He goes over there she isnt there. The mom reluctant to tells him where she's at. She doesn't want to break his heart but knowsmhe needs to move in because her daughter isn't about ****.

He goes to where she is she's there half naked with another dude her ex bf. Dude was legit hurt and I kinds felt bad.


All that **** was just an excuse to leave for old ****. And what do you do when your man treats you like a queen and gives you no reason to leave? You make up an invisible ware-wolf woman apparently

One day she is going to regret how childishly she acted and one day he's going to thank his lucky stars he didnt marry her but for no he can't stop crying. Poor guy. I mean he really really thought he found his life partner

 

[blind_one]

If it was not you I would think it is a troll or its 1st of April. Wow, just wow ....

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

And just when I thought I'd heard everything...

That was funny as fvck. You'll be laughing about that shiz for years.

-Augustus-

 

[PantyWhisperer]

FDR wasn't married to Ladybird. His wife was Eleanor. And they were distant cousins, so he figured he could trust her. If you can't trust family, who can you trust?
FDR on first date- "I feel a strange connection to you. You feel like family to me" lol

 

[backbreaker]

i don't know why i said FDR I meant LBJ

They shared breakfast the next day, then spent the whole day together - with Lyndon doing most of the talking. By sundown, he asked her to marry him. Lady Bird was slightly stunned, and could not believe he was serious. Lyndon returned to Washington and proved how serious he was. A relentless campaigner, Lyndon lobbied Lady Bird to marry him with a barrage of letters and phone calls.

http://www.pbs.org/ladybird/earlyyears/earlyyears_report.html


i've always thought if i had to compare myself to any past president it would be LBJ. chip on my shoulder, extremely blunt and to the point, a soft spot for people who can't help themselves. If i were in a position where i was sure that this woman was meant to be my wife this is literally exactly how i would approach the situtation

 

[zekko]

That was sad and hilarious all at the same time. Sounds like the girl has some mental issues that were revealed by the drugs. Shows why it's not a good idea to get engaged after only knowing someone one day, as if anybody needed to be convinced of that.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

i don't know why i said FDR I meant LBJ


http://www.pbs.org/ladybird/earlyyears/earlyyears_report.html


i've always thought if i had to compare myself to any past president it would be LBJ. chip on my shoulder, extremely blunt and to the point, a soft spot for people who can't help themselves. If i were in a position where i was sure that this woman was meant to be my wife this is literally exactly how i would approach the situtation

I was hoping it was Eleanor and FDR that got engaged on day one. Now my joke is worthless!