The Inverse Universe of Pick up
A moment.
Something did not seem right about this self-help industry solely focused on boffing the b***hes. Something chewed at me. Like an itch I cannot scratch, a thirst I cannot quench. It's Saturday and I'm at the I-talian's house, bottles on the floor, ears plugged to James Horner. He's asleep, I contemplate life in the spare room and then I have it. To me it's the sweetest thing in the world, a gift from beyond. Jules Winnfield had been spouting at me intermittently for the past two and a half hours so I had the perfect articulation- A moment of clarity.
Contradiction.
I had the hunger (courtesy of a major break out of my chronic oneitis) and combined with the beer I found that itch. It was the hypocrisy. How can the PUA preach of not giving a f**k? The very fact that this tool is preaching how important it is to show you don't give a f**k and that you are listening displays a direct contradiction. How can you attempt to not give a f**k when simply attempting means giving a f**k. Now obviously this has been explored by the "natural gamers" and Don Juans. These people have my admiration. I feel it goes deeper than that though. A member of the forum whom I admire sent me a book. This book, I considered at the time, was the greatest thing I had ever read. It transcended pua bulls**t lines, routines and strategies; it explored the idea of emotional seduction. It sold seduction as an art, not a science and it finally made sense. What happens when you put a bunch of horny nerds together? You get a horny science. Relationships with the fairer sex should not be denigrated to such simplicity. But even this book, the very peak of "pick-up" is superfluous. "Pick-up" is not on the verge of a breakthrough that will allow it to overcome this; it is in fact systematically f**ked.
Hunger.
The problem is not that we can't bang chicks; it is that we feel we need to. The hunger for validation through women is insatiable and while the hunger is there, the ability to feast is impaired. While we subconsciously focus on a woman (which is the case with “game” whether it be inner or outer) we cannot be free of this predicament in that our emotional investment is high. As people excel at pick up through hard work and coconut balls they become more confident and in some cases more detached from the "community". I feel as some of these people wake up to their excellence, their world view changes. This view goes from “how will this help ME?” to a win-win attitude. This is a symptom, I believe, of high self-esteem. It is fundamentally the need for self esteem we attempt to fulfil when we take that first step into “game”.
The Don Juan
The point of Don Juan however is to become an all round "cool guy" surely making it valid. I disagree; women still remain the centre and the motivation for most. I believe it is all about the motivation. I remember reading many times that the mentality should be “this girl is cool lets have some fun, let’s make her feel good” and not “this girl is hot, let’s make her feel good so she’ll like me” or “This girl isn’t into me, f**k that b***h”. This is right but how do we shift to the former from the latter? Logically by seeking for women to like us only promotes the second mentality. We have to tackle the situation head on; it is the motivation that needs to change.
The Chain
We learn piece by piece how to be a P.I.M.P. First of all we learn outer game from “The Game” (Neil Strauss) or the mystery method. Then we realise how futile this is and move onto inner game. It allows us to not just act more alpha but feel more alpha. It gives more room for self expression and it’s easier to sustain long term relationships. When inner game is not enough anymore we want to be James bond, we want to be Hank Moody not just act like them (whether pre-scripted or not). We want to be the s**t without having to think.
1- Outer Game
Pick-up lines – These are lines that can be learned to make the hoes explode in a mess of vaginal discharge.
Physical Appearance – It’s obvious that girls only like massive gorillas with six packs who can beat the s**t out of everyone else.
Body Language – Straight back, arms swinging, voice deep and commanding like big bad Barry White.
Outer Game is the most simple of all three and the original form of game. It changes outward behaviour however it does not intentionally alter inner thought processes but simply mimics behaviours of people comfortable in their own skin.
2- Inner Game
Thinking on the spot – The ability to freestyle by promoting creativity and improving delivery
Courage – Desensitisation leads to decrease in anxiety- anyone can be opened
Alpha – The ability to deal with other guys and show dominance, in order to prevent ****blockers and display the size of one’s cojones without actually whipping those bad boys out.
This is more complex and allows for paradigm shifts in effect altering ones view of the world. It’s no longer everybody else is f**ked, not me. Now its most people are cool but we’re still getting f**ked by the man. We don’t just want to act awesome, we want to be awesome.
3- Natural Game
For my definition of natural game, there are no techniques just simply the practice of principles and behaviours that become so internalised that it is so effortless and easy to pick up chicks maturbation becomes exorbitant.
4- Beyond Game
I feel that there is however one more stage. A stage that transcends game. This is where validation from women is no longer required (this has already been explored by many, most notably Neil Strauss at the end of "the game") and where self-efficacy (self confidence) & self-respect have been achieved. I hate to sound cheesy but is where one truly learns to love oneself. This I believe is the final outcome and although most of us pine for natural game it is the transcendence of “game” where happiness truly lies. As Neil Strauss said "
Oh the Irony
My Grandma could probably save us all a lot of time and explain that the one thing all women find attractive is confidence or to be more concise self-esteem. Although we wish to be Casanova it is that wish that ironically prevents us from becoming him. This can be undercut without having to go through the outer game – inner game circus that takes so much time. What we think we want will not make us happy, at least not quickly. If we skip to the end by promoting healthy self-esteem it should indirectly fulfil our needs. It is likely to lead to hot b**ches but that can never be the motive. The best thing is to undercut this and go straight to the end. Normal people learn from their mistakes, great people learn from the mistakes from others. As Neil Strauss said "To win the game was to leave it".
The Inverse Universe of pick up
I see a great flaw in the logic. The outer actions that are caused by internal behaviour are being copied first, then this behaviour is being mimicked which is caused in turn from convictions about oneself which is the final stage of the pick up growth. It is like having a three story building with a leak on each floor but instead of fixing the roof the pick-up community has decided patch up the first floor then the second and then the roof.
I see only way to undercut this and that is to love yourself and build self-esteem above all else. I’m not saying pick up doesn’t work but I feel we are doing it the wrong way round. If we build confidence first and then learn to understand women it will lead to much healthier and more prosperous relationships.
