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The Importance of the Philosophical Conversation

Atom Smasher

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I see a lot of posters lamenting how their girlfriend has gained weight, or is misbehaving in any number of ways. Perhaps she is flirting with other men; perhaps she is sloppy around her house; maybe she feels she has a "right" to speak disrespectfully to you when she is in a bad mood or PMS-ing.

There is a way to nip all of this in the bud and handle it all before it happens. It's what I call the "Philosophical Musing".

It's essential during those quiet times with her to verbally muse about your life and relationship philosophies. Let's say you're out on a nature trail and you stop for a rest. That's a perfect time to shift into "Muse Mode" and talk about your thoughts on relationships.

First, you start talking about relationships in general, then ease into people in relationships treating each other well and "taking care of each other". Then you ease into "I feel it's very important for both to stay in the best shape possible for each other." She will readily agree. Talk about all the other things that are important to you. "I've noticed some women speaking disrespectfully to their man. I'm glad we don't have that issue and that we care enough to never let that happen."

She's already feeling close to you in these quiet times, and she will readily agree with every reasonable thing you bring up. She will admire you for confiding with her (this is how she will see it), and will be in a very romantic frame of mind because you are "trusting" her with your innermost thoughts. Believe me, she will accept every reasonable thing you say. These things will grow strong roots in her.

She will love how "insightful" you are and that you're "deep". And believe me, in the future, she will toe the line in the future because you have revealed what is most important to you. In the process, it's good to say how great it is that you don't "need" her in your life, but that even better, you "want" her in your life. This lets her know that you can and will walk away if her behavior isn't up to your standards.

As with most principles regarding women, these tips lose something in writing them down, and they have to be nuanced in practice and molded to fit your own personality.

Think about how women communicate and respond. They understand covert communications because that's how they operate. Leverage that to your advantage. The philosophical musing is a nuclear weapon in establishing your dominance, increasing her respect for you, and letting her know in no uncertain terms, the parameters for the relationship. And while accomplishing all this, she is falling even more in love with you, as if that were possible! ;)

In this way you will be establishing how things are going to go in your relationship, in a covert way to you, but in a concrete way to her. Think of the word, "establish". That's your job if you want to have a successful relationship. Women crave a man who will establish the parameters because they crave a man who imposes his energy onto the relationship. Most men extract her energy from the relationship until the relationship is tapped out. You should be the energy that drives and gives momentum. She will gladly follow your lead.

Of course, this all must be accomplished EARLY in the relationship. Once she has her hooks into a bad behavior, it's already too late and you must resort to other more overt means to accomplish your purpose.
 

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LARaiders85

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Perhaps she is flirting with other men; perhaps she is sloppy around her house; maybe she feels she has a "right" to speak disrespectfully to you when she is in a bad mood or PMS-ing.
IMO nothing you do will stop this if it is her nature to do it. However, it doesn't hurt to let her know in EXACTLY the method you described what your values are for the purpose of making your own life more pleasant only as she attempts to mirror your expectations and values.
 

Roober

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It is a great way to set expectations. I tend to do this without even thinking about it.

To be effective...
1. You have to be clear in the message, not too subtle
2. It has to be a time when she is open to listening (i.e. not under the influence, not other people around, and no other activity going on)

For example, my main plate wakes up with me when I stay at her house (1-2 nights a week). I wake up at 4am, she hops right out of bed, makes me some breakfast and my lunch for the day. Just to reinforce, a couple weeks ago, I talked to her about failing relationships and because they change behaviors from when they first started dating. People care about a certain person, then get lazy.. Maybe it was a bit too subtle, but I definitely do this every so often.
 

Grewd

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Yes! This a thousand times. Being clear with expectations early on definitely makes it so much easier down the road.
 

Urbanyst

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Women will be who and what they are no matter what you do.

I think if you have to engage in deep complex planning and thought to make a woman like you or make relationship work, then its the wrong relationship and the wrong woman.
 
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BeExcellent

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Women will be who and what they are no matter what you do.

I think if you have to engage in deep complex planning and thought to make a woman like you or make relationship work, then its the wrong relationship and the wrong woman.
Actually this is only true to a point. A woman who is interested in you and invested in you will most assuredly adapt and mold to what her man wants. I never golfed until I dated a golfer, and I found I really enjoyed golf...etc.

The point @Atom Smasher is making is that by putting your expectations as a man into words you state your expectations for the relationship in an indirect way.

The expectations are individual to you as a man and do not change. Therefore it doesn't matter who the woman is.

And this has the advantage of engaging the woman. She will feel valued that you share in this way. It will feel like investment to her because frankly it is. If she is worth sharing your expectations with then she has some value and appeal to you.

Women like to know where the boundaries are. This is a mature means of expressing the boundaries and expectations in the context of leading the relationship. Men who do this set themselves up for success before an issue occurs and therefore avoid lots of problems before they develop.

Excellent thread.
 

Urbanyst

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Actually this is only true to a point. A woman who is interested in you and invested in you will most assuredly adapt and mold to what her man wants. I never golfed until I dated a golfer, and I found I really enjoyed golf...etc.

The point @Atom Smasher is making is that by putting your expectations as a man into words you state your expectations for the relationship in an indirect way.

The expectations are individual to you as a man and do not change. Therefore it doesn't matter who the woman is.

And this has the advantage of engaging the woman. She will feel valued that you share in this way. It will feel like investment to her because frankly it is. If she is worth sharing your expectations with then she has some value and appeal to you.

Women like to know where the boundaries are. This is a mature means of expressing the boundaries and expectations in the context of leading the relationship. Men who do this set themselves up for success before an issue occurs and therefore avoid lots of problems before they develop.

Excellent thread.
I just think people go off chemistry and natural compatibility. Which is why I think neither side should have to think too hard or deep to make it work. Same with all your friendships. They just work because you like and respect each other. No one has to act fake or study psychology. Its just a balanced give and take.

The way a man sets himself up for success is being high value, complete and not desperate. All the other stuff is fluff and PUA rhetoric.
 

Atom Smasher

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I think you may not fully appreciate the power and necessity of the art of Influence in this world. Influence is not manipulation. It is being clear and bold in letting others know who you are and where you stand. All of success in life hinges on the art of influence.

Going off chemistry and natural compatibility is allowing the energy of the relationship to carry you along until it depletes. A healthy relationship requires the male to apply his guidance and energy to the relationship. If he does, he gets what he wants, and the woman feels loved and satisfied. When a man just rides along on what he thinks is chemistry, the chemical reaction will dissipate and leave him sitting on the floor wondering what happened.

Every man should study and apply the art of influence. A man needs to be a force to be reckoned with in this world. To not gain understanding of the importance of the art is to be carried along like a leaf. This is the role of the woman, to surrender and be carried by the male energy, because in addition to his energy, she has determined she can trust him and that he has her best interest at heart.

The two are not equal, and never will be equal. The two have their own strengths and weaknesses. When a woman detects that a man absolutely feels the relationship is his responsibility, she knows that she has found the rarest of gems. She will gladly submit to this man and will give all of herself to him.
 

PeasantPlayer

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Philiosophical discussion is the foundation of growth and progress along side experience. No one has anything good to say lately its mostly EGO talk
 

ubercat

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Spot on. Only caution I'd sound for the younger guys is you don't stray onto red pill concepts. One is re-enforcing your standards - the other is blowing your cover and possibly coming across as manipulative or ant-women.
 
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BeExcellent

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Basically the philosophical conversation simply defines your world as a man and how others fit into that world.

A woman who likes you or loves you is going to understand loud & clear. She will tow the line & be grateful for your directing things in this way.

You must be genuine however. You can't go spouting stuff off and yet behave in an incongruent manner.
 

17 shots

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I do this all the time, I could never put it into words like OP did though, it was just something I figured out on my own. Lately I've been telling women that I love how Cardi B treats her man. Most women love Cardi B too, so it's easy to bring her up in conversation. For those who don't know, Cardi B spoils her husband all the time. For his last birthday she gave him like 500 thousand dollars cash
 
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