"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The "I'm Busy" excuse
- Thread starter FiveFive
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Demonicale
Senior Don Juan
I'll update this thread tomorrow sometime and let everyone know how it goes haha.
FiveFive
I'm busy can mean a whole of things. Yes, generally it means you have pvssy where your **** should be so I'm not giving you the time of day.
Alec Baldwin said it best ... ABC Always Be Closing
right now you're not even worth a cup of coffee to her and we all know coffee is for closers.
Right now she's tossing up a shyte test and an objection.
To pass the test you need to circumvent her objection and get her to realize you have value.
You know she's interested? The hell you do... she's telling you not once but twice she's busy. Once is troubling enough, twice is a huge hint that she's not interested. You want to go forward with this girl you're gonna need to show some serious cajones and take her down 4 or 5 pegs, before she's even gonna even think about getting down with you.
Demonscale,
The only time you can use I like you alot is in the following way.
I like you a lot but those shoes look like something a clown would wear. Did I miss the circus again?
I wouldn't recommend using this type of line on a woman unless she's a HB 9+ and only if she's got a HB9+ attitude.
As for your flaker since you work with her well I would jsut ignore her be polite and leave it alone. In non-work possibilities you could bust badly but with sexual harassment laws being as they are it's better to keep your job than bust her and fail and get fired for sexual harassment.
"look here's the thing...i like you alot...but what's the point if everytime we say we're going to meet you cancel or change it or whatever..you either want to or not..maybe you should think about that for awhile?"...and then i'll walk off."
Eliminate look here's the thing from this. Eliminate I like you alot. You're being too considerate and not ****y nor funny and that's why she's not giving you the time date.
Hoever, if you really want to practice your game then ...
1)Don't get pissed -You have the chance to not be AFC by saying something ingenious. You can use this as a testing ground. This girl is gone anyway so say something to the effect of ....
If you looking for a chump he's left the building but I hear there's a man going who is going to be at (insert local watering hole/club here) at (insert time here) on (insert day here)
Then you go and expect her not to be there, habve a great time and work on your game some more. If she shows up then step 1 worked... if not, which is more than likely the next time you see her you say ...
Damn I had a blast on (insert day you went) and right at (the time you mentioned before) I met this gorgeous woman at (local watering hole). Amazing how I just know these things, huh? Then just walk away.
That's a lengthy opertation but that's the type of creativity you need to get around women with I'm busy crap. Most of the time it isn't worth it and you need to next her. However you can always take it as an opportunity to work on your game. If she's gone she's gone so practing doesn't hurt as long as you don't get fired.
Bottomline is that if you get I'm busy with no counter offer then you need up your game as it isn't effective enough to procure a date.
I'm busy can mean a whole of things. Yes, generally it means you have pvssy where your **** should be so I'm not giving you the time of day.
Alec Baldwin said it best ... ABC Always Be Closing
right now you're not even worth a cup of coffee to her and we all know coffee is for closers.
Right now she's tossing up a shyte test and an objection.
To pass the test you need to circumvent her objection and get her to realize you have value.
You know she's interested? The hell you do... she's telling you not once but twice she's busy. Once is troubling enough, twice is a huge hint that she's not interested. You want to go forward with this girl you're gonna need to show some serious cajones and take her down 4 or 5 pegs, before she's even gonna even think about getting down with you.
Demonscale,
The only time you can use I like you alot is in the following way.
I like you a lot but those shoes look like something a clown would wear. Did I miss the circus again?
I wouldn't recommend using this type of line on a woman unless she's a HB 9+ and only if she's got a HB9+ attitude.
As for your flaker since you work with her well I would jsut ignore her be polite and leave it alone. In non-work possibilities you could bust badly but with sexual harassment laws being as they are it's better to keep your job than bust her and fail and get fired for sexual harassment.
"look here's the thing...i like you alot...but what's the point if everytime we say we're going to meet you cancel or change it or whatever..you either want to or not..maybe you should think about that for awhile?"...and then i'll walk off."
Eliminate look here's the thing from this. Eliminate I like you alot. You're being too considerate and not ****y nor funny and that's why she's not giving you the time date.
Hoever, if you really want to practice your game then ...
1)Don't get pissed -You have the chance to not be AFC by saying something ingenious. You can use this as a testing ground. This girl is gone anyway so say something to the effect of ....
If you looking for a chump he's left the building but I hear there's a man going who is going to be at (insert local watering hole/club here) at (insert time here) on (insert day here)
Then you go and expect her not to be there, habve a great time and work on your game some more. If she shows up then step 1 worked... if not, which is more than likely the next time you see her you say ...
Damn I had a blast on (insert day you went) and right at (the time you mentioned before) I met this gorgeous woman at (local watering hole). Amazing how I just know these things, huh? Then just walk away.
That's a lengthy opertation but that's the type of creativity you need to get around women with I'm busy crap. Most of the time it isn't worth it and you need to next her. However you can always take it as an opportunity to work on your game. If she's gone she's gone so practing doesn't hurt as long as you don't get fired.
Bottomline is that if you get I'm busy with no counter offer then you need up your game as it isn't effective enough to procure a date.
MisterMcGee
Master Don Juan
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- 825
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I chill and flirt with some girls but I wouldnt date them - thank god they dont make the moves cause I'd probably do the same "lets just be friends" stuff that girls do.Demonicale said:I don't get it, whatever game she is playing it stops today...if i see her tomorrow i'm just going to be distant as i've lost all intrest in her now.
As far as i'm concerned she had her chance with me, and it could've been great..but it's not meant to be so i'll move on
This girl prob thinks you're cool but isn't really into you. Don't be angry at her, she's just being a woman and some guys (moi) are guilty of the whole 'keep some girls around to boost your ego' thing. Don't condemn her for this.
In my situation, if she wants to be buds and still talks and approaches me and stuff, then I'll probably have to make it clear to her and I asked her out cause im interested in dating, not being friends.
Of course you don't wait for a response, you just walk away because you don't care for a girl's immediate response to anything. Don't be outcome dependant, just stick to your guns. If you wanna just be friends with the girl then go ahead. In my situation though, I don't really want to be friendly with the girl, it'd be boring for me. The chase has been fun for me, but settling for being friends just reeks of boredom. I see her as more than a friend, so I'm going to be honest with her and myself if she doesn't understand that.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Igetit!
Moderator
Oh,so the games stop today. Says who? You? You're going to be the one to stop them? You plan on standing up and being a man and putting an end to the nonsense? Well why now? Why did you put up with all this trash from her for as long as you have? If you had took this stance with her for the get-go,my guess is that she'd straightened up a long time ago instead of taking you on this wild goose chase.Demonicale said:
Dude,don't do this. Don't start acting all cold and distant with her. Being cold and distant is a reaction to being hurt. And you can't be hurt unless the thing that hurt you is important to you,or is something that you care about. If you go all cold on her,she'll know it's because you were hurt,which means that she meant something to you.,which means an ego boost for her. In her mind,she'll be like,"Wow,this guy was really into me". Just be normal around her.....but DON'T suggest another date with her. Don't even bring up the subject of you two dating. And if she brings it up,it she suggest you two possibly getting together.....then you flake.Demonicale said:
You pull out the "I'm busy" card. If she insist,and you're still interested in her,then you reluctantly agree to it. After begrudgingly agreeing with her,then tell her straight out DIRECTLY that if she doesn't show up to the date,then don't bother try to get together with you again,and MEAN IT. And make sure she knows you mean it through your tonality,voice pitch,and the specific words you use.
If you do have to end everything with her because of her flakiness,do it from a position of strength and power,not from being angry or hurt.
MisterMcGee
Master Don Juan
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Yeah dont be distant and do the push/pull thing, its not time for that crap cause she'll spin it her own way and you dont have time to play games like that.
Don't be distant in hopes that she'll start approaching you. the girl in my situation DID start approaching me a lot at work, being playful with me out of nowhere, asking me random questions, and so forth. She wasnt into me, though. Are you telling me all the girls you approach to chat with and be playful around are girl you'd date? I do that with girls I wouldn't date simply because it's fun and playful and that's it.
Don't condemn her for making you "one of those guys she has fun talking to" because there's nothing wrong with that.
Don't give her an ultimatum statement like "if you dont wanna go out, then fine". She didn't do anything wrong. Don't be blunt or act as if it's such a big deal, cause it's not. You wanted to date her, she didn't want to date you. That's the reality, no biggie.
Options:
1) be distant and wait for her to initiate contact with you, which she probably will, but it wont mean anything cause she wants to simply see if you are cool w/ just being buds
2) keep asking her out like you dont notice she's flaking. It's confident but frustrating for her and wont lead to anything. You also look retarded.
3) keep being cool w/ her as if you hadn't ever asked her out. The girl in my situation was trying to do this, so it's likely your girl will too. I personally see this as 'folding your cards' and 'playing by her hand'.
4) Make yourself clear. how to do this is up to you
Don't be distant in hopes that she'll start approaching you. the girl in my situation DID start approaching me a lot at work, being playful with me out of nowhere, asking me random questions, and so forth. She wasnt into me, though. Are you telling me all the girls you approach to chat with and be playful around are girl you'd date? I do that with girls I wouldn't date simply because it's fun and playful and that's it.
Don't condemn her for making you "one of those guys she has fun talking to" because there's nothing wrong with that.
Don't give her an ultimatum statement like "if you dont wanna go out, then fine". She didn't do anything wrong. Don't be blunt or act as if it's such a big deal, cause it's not. You wanted to date her, she didn't want to date you. That's the reality, no biggie.
Options:
1) be distant and wait for her to initiate contact with you, which she probably will, but it wont mean anything cause she wants to simply see if you are cool w/ just being buds
2) keep asking her out like you dont notice she's flaking. It's confident but frustrating for her and wont lead to anything. You also look retarded.
3) keep being cool w/ her as if you hadn't ever asked her out. The girl in my situation was trying to do this, so it's likely your girl will too. I personally see this as 'folding your cards' and 'playing by her hand'.
4) Make yourself clear. how to do this is up to you
suavesuave
Senior Don Juan
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well at least its better than she never picks up the call.
Sometimes its not an axcuse, they actually are very busy. But if they have no interest in you, they won't make time off their busy schedule. However, if she does like you she will make every effort to see you.
I have a gf that is busy a lot. But I can tell that she makes every effort to see me whenever she has time.
I have a gf that is busy a lot. But I can tell that she makes every effort to see me whenever she has time.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Demonicale
Senior Don Juan
UPDATE
She did come into mywork place today but i was in the restroom so she did'nt see me.I think i'm going to play it cool and treat it as if it's no big deal or anything to me.
On another note, i rejoined a gym i used to belong to...it gives me something more to focus my attention on rather than girls all the time..making me look less desperate?...lol
She did come into mywork place today but i was in the restroom so she did'nt see me.I think i'm going to play it cool and treat it as if it's no big deal or anything to me.
On another note, i rejoined a gym i used to belong to...it gives me something more to focus my attention on rather than girls all the time..making me look less desperate?...lol
She hasn't really made an effort to try to talk to me or set up another date. I'm nexting this girl. I wasted my time asking her out TWICE, and was actually thinking of asking her a third time because she told me to call her some other time. I'm not an AFC and do not act desperate or needy when I'm around her. I flirt a lot and use a lot of kino but I guess she really ain't into to me "that" way. When I did ask her out those two times she seemed really excited that I was asking her but she already made plans. She's a really nice girl but I think if she was at all interested she would have at least told me another day we could have maybe set something up. She didn't so I'm nexting her and moving onto my other prospects.
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
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what you believe is irelivent.. the fact and reality is that she is leting you know her interest level is low and she has other more important things to do than you... the word busy is very critical since it lets you know she is doing alot of people but not you..FiveFive said:
when you try to make plans with a girl defuse this by suggest that you know you are both very busy people but you should hang out some time to take a break for all the stress..
Luke Skywalker
Banned
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Try it a third time. Three strikes and you are out rule. Most things out there go on a three strikes basis and intuitively she knows if she says she's busy a third time you'll move on as it would be too obvious to both of you that she's dodging the issue. I'd say to give it a third try before dismissing her.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.