Here are a few things that a record of social psychological research has to say about power...
1. Definition of 'power' - Most definitions focus on the ability of one person (A) to get another person (B) to do something that he or she would not otherwise do. This is sort of the offensive or assertive 'face' of power. Another 'face' is a protective or defensive one - which is basically the power to avoid unpleasant or undesirable things. In the DJ context, it's the ability to control things and not be controlled; to get what you want and not get what you don't want from her; the ability to have your way.
2. French and Raven's bases of power (these bases are not mutually exclusive):
A) Legitimate Power = power assigned by virtue of one's formal position, status, or authority. Social/professional/public status would be a good example... a man with a high position in society certainly has power, and women are certainly attracted to that type of power.
B) Reward Power = basically what it sounds like - the ability to provide pleasant experiences or consequences to others. In the DJ context, it's the ability you have to make her feel good about herself, satisfy her sexually, etc. and to provide or at least contribute toward more tangible economic positives (e.g., houses, cars, shoes!]
C) Coercive Power = the ability to get others to sacrifice or overide their own will in service to your own; also, it often includes the power to punish by taking away or withholding desired things or to punish by providing negative things. This type of power often operates by virtue of the 'price to pay' that a target person will suffer by not complying with or yielding to the desires of the focal person (i.e., the one who is exercising power).
D) Expert power = the ability to influence others that is derived from the specialized knowledge, skill, or ability that one possesses. Even a person of lower formal position (B) can exert power of those of higher position or status (A) in situations in which the valued qualities of the lower person are in high demand (i.e., when a dependency for one or more of the attributes of B exists).
E) Referent Power = in many respects, this is the ability to influence others that is derived from one's individual personality or social persona; think personal power or charisma. It also could include things like character, integrity, and the respect and esteem of others. Likewise, this is why being famous, even if not rich or whatever, carries some measure of power. The same could be said for being physically attractive - it is a source of power when it is highly valued by another person.
*** So, what is the DJ to do with this knowledge?
>>1. Legitimate Power - Know that increasing your (perceived) social status - whether it be actual (now) or potential (in the future) - can up your power with women, and sometimes this can be framed in better ways than others. For example, instead of saying (A) "I'm a college student", one might state that he is (B) "in my last year of study at the university of ___ and will be entering the field of ____ next year". Both are true, but B is a much better presentation of the facts than is A (and it also demonstrates a more definite plan and some ambition - important qualities to women)
>>2. Reward Power - some subtlety is important here, as is a good measure of restraint to avoid the impression that one is too eager to impress or serve her, but... providing positive things for her (now and then) is important. Just don't get carried away with it, and especially ensure that she doesn't come to take it for granted from you (which can be the kiss of death). It can be as simple as a compliment or as involved as a well-orchestrated evening of romance. In either case, you want to keep her off balance a bit so that the positive reinforcements that you provide are not too predictable. Mix it up a little. Don't be afraid to withhold it from time to time. Make her work for it. I say again - never be taken for granted. She gets rewarded when YOU decide to do so, it's not up to her. This gives you power.
>>3. Coercive Power - This type of power basically involves 'drawing some lines with her' about what is and is not acceptable to you. She should know that there is a 'price to pay' if she is bratty, *****y, flirtatious with other men, or whatever. Women are very good at using this on men - I suggest that you turn the tables on them to provide a taste of their own medicine. I don't mean sulking or pouting like some women do, but demonstrating a mature sense of disapproval and disappointment about her actions (or lack thereof). Basically, you let her know that you will not take her sh*t, and if she tries to do so, there is a price to pay. In most cases (especially with single men), a woman needs to know that you have 'walk away' power and are not afraid to use it if necessary. Less extreme - and quite effective - is simply withholding affection (or even worse - attention!) from her for some period of time.
>>4. Expert Power - Be damn good or unusually talented at something. It doesn't really have to be something that creates wealth or fame, but it needs to be something that she will hold in positive regard. It can be sex, romance, intellectual pursuits, your profession, etc. Whatever it is, this type of skill or ability uniqueness helps to differentiate you from 'the pack' in some way that is positive and that draws her to you. Even if you are not famous, or are not even involved in your skill/ability area as professional, the fact that you are a really good at something can be a source of attraction for her if she highly values the areas in which you excel.
>>5. Referent Power - as opposed to expert power, which refers essentially to 'what' you are or 'what' you can do, referent power basically refers to 'who' you are - your personality, internal character/qualities, and public persona. Ideally, you would obviously like for her to find all of these to be attractive and intriguing. It also helps if others also hold you in positive regard on these attributes (i.e., there is social proof/validation of them). Many, many things are associated with this source of power; among them are: integrity/ethics, modesty/humility (or at least a lack of conceit/arrogance), politeness/manners, classiness, kindness toward and consideration of others, decisiveness, firmness of convictions, secure sense of self/maturity, etc.
*** A Great book on this subject that has a LOT to say about power (and the implications it has for the DJ type of philosophy) is the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene.
