the iceman - look at the eyes

[joekerr31]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z_Dm8IkyOlQ&mode=related&search=

richard kuklinski was a hitman for the mob. by all accounts a pure bred sociopath.

yet even knowing this, see how easy it is to just be captivated by him talking.

and the reason he's so captivating is his tone of voice, but more specifically, look at his eyes. he doesn't have even the slightest sense of insecurity or self doubt.

its really odd to be using a serial killer as an example ... but... there is something to be learned by this.

the ability to look someone dead in the eye, without flinching, is in my opinion one of the most powerful forces in human nature.

it will defuse a fight, it will make a woman wet, it will make you interesting to others even if you say very little, etc.

now im not suggesting people become sociopaths. but i did want to mention that i think the most powerful reflection of who you are is your eyes - and when you move your gaze away from people you are in essence displaying a degree of insecurity over who you are.

btw, 1:55 into the video is fascinating. he's got charm even though he's a nut case.

 

[KontrollerX]

Sociopaths aren't crazy/insane/nut cases.

They just lack emotions and conscience and fear.

Thats how they can do all the horrible things that they do.

They are a different kind of human with the way their brains are wired.

Its impossible for someone like Richard Kuklinski to ever be brave with his stare or anything that he has done because he had no fear to overcome to carry out his actions.

As for eye contact its certainly a powerful thing but it has to be used in the correct way or you just come off as creepy.

Sociopaths it should be noted are masters at mimicking emotions, empathy and all the signals that normal people use naturally every day.

Richard likely observed his surroundings saw people behaving in ways that worked to get what they wanted and then went in his room alone for hours staring into the mirror practicing those charming facial expressions he saw normal people using.

 

[STR8UP]

I saw the interview with this guy and I agree with you completely. I'm fascinated by serial killers, btw.

Understanding eye contact and other non verbal communication is absolutely gold when learning better ways to interact with (and especially influence) other people.

I tell you straight up- this is one of my biggest drawbacks when it comes to dealing with people.

I think it comes from my days of hellish social anxiety when something as simple as talking on the telephone would send me into fight or flight mode.

Medication helped me tremendously, and I am now much better than I was in social situations, but I still catch myself looking away, darting eyes, bad body language, etc.

Since I have become conscious of it I have observed the times when I came out guns blazing, strong eye contact and good body language when I first meet a woman, they treat me like an ENTIRELY different person, and more often than not if I go into the introduction with this charisma I can instantly recognize attraction.

So yea, I'm totally with you. If you can manage to learn how to express yourself through your eyes, you've got a good chunk of the battle won.

 

[STR8UP]

Ever watch David Blaine?

Pay attention to the intense eye contact and watch how women respond to it.

Dude could probably pick up more women than all of us on this board combined, even without the fame.