The honest-to-God solution to, "Problems with/questions about this girl/situation"...

[squirrels]

This is nothing new...but it needs to be said. I'm starting to think the solution to every "girl problem" that members on this forum post about can be solved simply by DATING ANOTHER WOMAN.

There's something that you lose when you're focused explicitly on one woman...you lose PERSPECTIVE. You have nothing to compare her to except the ABSENCE of women, so you place WAY, WAY too much importance on her.

Every time in my life I've been successfully dating one woman, I've been successfully dating three women. Every time I've only had one lead, I've overplayed the importance of that one lead and shot myself in the foot.

You don't need to be a man-***** dating 10 different ladies, but even having a second provides you with a much-needed perspective to compare your current girl to. Three is probably the PERFECT number...and you CAN have more...but then you need to start juggling them among all your other hobbies and pursuits.

To bastardize a quote from Robert Kiyosaki, author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad, "There are two types of girl problems...the problem of not having enough women and the problem of having too many women." He was talking about money, but the same principle applies. And the choice is up to you which you would like to have.

Everyone tells you, "Don't care. The person who cares the least wins." How can you realistically be expected to NOT care, though, if you truly believe that your sexual future hinges on success with this ONE woman? If you cannot see your options, you become dependent. You overanalyze and become risk-averse because you don't believe that you can fail and still eventually succeed...you think THIS is your ONE SHOT.

Even if you're MARRIED, you should still have a good awareness of the options available to you. You should have a good assessment over whether your woman is an emotional asset (provides you with good feelings) or an emotional liability (takes good feelings away from you) and be able to see the other options for investing your time and energy.

Rollo calls it "spinning plates". But the basic idea to grasp is that there are a TON of women out there, among them a ton of ATTRACTIVE women, and almost ALL of them like to be intimate with men. Any time you find yourself confused and unsure of yourself, worried about, "Am I doing the right thing to impress/win this girl?", remind yourself that there are PLENTY of women out there.

 

[Jariel]

I'm starting to think the solution to every "girl problem" that members on this forum post about can be solved simply by DATING ANOTHER WOMAN.

Isn't that just another way of saying "If at first you don't succeed...quit!"

Keeping options open is wise, but can also be a curse. If you keep relying on a safety net to catch you at the first sign of difficulty, you will never learn how to overcome those difficulties.

I posted in the DJ forum recently about my girlfriend wanting her own way. It wasn't that major, but I got a lot of suggestions to dump her and move on, when in reality I solved the problem by simply talking to her. I may have problems further down the road, but that's part of life - you can learn to overcome them or you can quit.

I do agree with parts of your post Squirrels, just not quite to the extreme suggested in the first paragraph.

 

[squirrels]

Isn't that just another way of saying "If at first you don't succeed...quit!"

Keeping options open is wise, but can also be a curse. If you keep relying on a safety net to catch you at the first sign of difficulty, you will never learn how to overcome those difficulties.

I posted in the DJ forum recently about my girlfriend wanting her own way. It wasn't that major, but I got a lot of suggestions to dump her and move on, when in reality I solved the problem by simply talking to her. I may have problems further down the road, but that's part of life - you can learn to overcome them or you can quit.

I do agree with parts of your post Squirrels, just not quite to the extreme suggested in the first paragraph.

Who said anything about QUITTING?

 

[Taviii]

I posted in the DJ forum recently about my girlfriend wanting her own way. It wasn't that major, but I got a lot of suggestions to dump her and move on, when in reality I solved the problem by simply talking to her. I may have problems further down the road, but that's part of life - you can learn to overcome them or you can quit.

Wanting her on way is a sure sign she has already put in a "category", maybe one named *not happy with*

As you said problems will arise down the road as it is hard to change this labels girls put on you, especially by talking. In my opinion action could be a better solution to the problem, as I'm sure you know talking isn't really our strongest point.



To the threads subject now:

Going from :

-dating multiple girls to know you have a lot of possibilities

to

-dating just one girl and being aware of the possibilities

is one of the most important proofs that you are on a DJ mindset. It shows confidence (let me try an analogy: not having money but being aware that you can easily make them is an important aspect of successful business leadership), you know that you are able to approach, date and fück women even though you have one girl (or none) at the moment.

That is in essence the secret of confidence.

 

[LAWYER]

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