"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

The hell with self-improvement

KillingTime

Senior Don Juan
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I was looking through pics and something just hit me, and i need to talk about it because something isn't working for me and needs to change

Im 20, 4-5 years ago:
I was scrawny, had terrible acne, had a "crazier" looking haircut (5-6 inches on top, buzzed on the sides, just let it hang down) and just wore jeans and band t-shirts everyday.

Fast forward, now:
I have a generic short haircut, wear nothing but designer clothes, in general ive really cleaned up my image from "punk" to "classy/conservative"

The result?
Maybe it's just the pics but I think I looked TONS better back then than I do now.
I remember I used to get chicks left and right, even at 15 I was being offered sex.
Now, I feel I look like crap... technically speaking ive improved myself but I feel im looking more like Bill Cosby everyday lol.

What's the deal? Why did "self-improvement" make me look worse?
I looked better, felt better and got tons more women with my ripped up jeans and piercings than I do now with my little bootcut jeans and Abercrombie shirts.

The whole self-improvement thing definately backfired on me, maybe it's because I lost sight of who I really was and am just trying to be something Im not now, maybe it shows....maybe the high-class look just doesn't work for everyone?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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FunnyCide

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You may have improved your appreance but you lost what was really important...confidence. You were probabaly confortable back then being yourself and talked to women with out over thinking now you started to doubt yourself.

I think everyone goes through this I remember highschool wasn't about trying to pickup women it was just about talking with them and having fun which made everything a lot easier. Now the game has changed so we must change with it.

Also women have changed in this time the bad hair cut and worn out t shirt was okay in high school when the girls thought that was cool to wear a led zep shirt but now you'll just look ike your stuck in your teens.

just a thought...
 

Levex

Master Don Juan
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At age 20, if you still wear ripped up jeans and look like a hobo, no self-respecting girl will look at you twice.

I agree though that bodybuilding and muscles are overrated, as for clothes you just have to find a style that makes you look your age, while accenting your good features.
 

Luveno

Master Don Juan
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Self-Improvement does NOT equal assimilation into a particular stereotype.

So you used to dress like a punk and you felt great about the world. Why did you change your appearance into something that you weren't happy with?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
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I think you missed the 'self' part in self improvement. You've changed your appearance but do you only identify yourself by what you wear?

Start considering what you can do to improve yourself internally, improving not how you look but how you feel about yourself. It's already been mentioned the importance of self confidence, that's a good place to start.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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muttley

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2005
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Originally posted by KillingTime
I was looking through pics and something just hit me, and i need to talk about it because something isn't working for me and needs to change

Im 20, 4-5 years ago:
I was scrawny, had terrible acne, had a "crazier" looking haircut (5-6 inches on top, buzzed on the sides, just let it hang down) and just wore jeans and band t-shirts everyday.

Fast forward, now:
I have a generic short haircut, wear nothing but designer clothes, in general ive really cleaned up my image from "punk" to "classy/conservative"

The result?
Maybe it's just the pics but I think I looked TONS better back then than I do now.
I remember I used to get chicks left and right, even at 15 I was being offered sex.
Now, I feel I look like crap... technically speaking ive improved myself but I feel im looking more like Bill Cosby everyday lol.

What's the deal? Why did "self-improvement" make me look worse?
I looked better, felt better and got tons more women with my ripped up jeans and piercings than I do now with my little bootcut jeans and Abercrombie shirts.

The whole self-improvement thing definately backfired on me, maybe it's because I lost sight of who I really was and am just trying to be something Im not now, maybe it shows....maybe the high-class look just doesn't work for everyone?


im 24 now, when i was 17-19 i was skinnier than now, had a little more acne and wasnt very broad or built or anything. My dress sense has improved since then and i look WAY better than i did then. Ive gone up alot of notches in the looks department ( have been complimented like never before :D ) since then BUT i had waaaaaaay more girls back then too. Theres no doubt about it. The simple explanation was that i was VERY confident. I had a "yeh im crazy and dont give a fvck" attitude with every thing. I was one wild as they come person.

When i hit 20, every thing went downhill because i started university. I lost my confidence along the line somewhere, ( i now know how it occured ) and hit rock bottom for about 4 more yrs. Thank god i realised where i was going wrong and lateley have been feeling like the Terminators bigger stronger brother lol. i FEEL INVINCIBLE!. i AM INVINCEABLE.

I have 2 girls that are interested in me , ones about hb7.5 and one about hb6, hb7.5 is looking frustrated because ive turned the tables on her and im enjoying the chase ;) , hb6 im not to bothered about.

All i gotta say is , confidence is a powerful thing.

peace.
 
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