The Guide To The First Date.

Survivor

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Blitz, I agree that waiting x amount of days just to follow some rule is a seemingly insecure thing to do.....

....But that's exactly why beginners should do it.

I wrote a tip about this a while ago. The time spent waiting could be time spent finding other things to do except obesses over one girl. When a beginner waits say, 5-6 days, that rule is there to help remind him that he does have a life outside of his desperation for this one girl. Yes, he'll miss out on alot of potential hookups, but thats irrelevant. The true purpose of the rule is the newbie's development into a more attractive person.

" Wait x days before calling." is more of developmental tool than a rule. Once a beginner gains more self-assurance, he can drop the rule and call whenever he wants.
 
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Eternal

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Due to the chance of this being deleted due to time, Matrix has requested me to bump this for it to stay in the High School bible. Thank you.
 

TTAG

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what a great post!

this is some good stuff, definitely bible material here.

I just had one question i could not figure out - how do you come across as a lover rather than a provider?
 

Grey Fox

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The Lover Versus the Provider.

The lover and the provider....

Make no mistake both are providers in a certain sense. The provider in the traditional role is sense as the provider sustanance, they ensure all a persons material needs are meet. Their needs are not reciprocated because as the provider it is assumed they are able to meet their own needs. The lover is different, they provide for the emotional needs of the one they care for. But the lover's efforts are reciprocated, because the emotion they give, the love, sparks something in his women to give that love back, to share it.

.....But enough philosphical wax, you need a pratical way to figure out wheither your women sees you as a provider or a lover.

You see you can't tell if your a lover or provider from a few dates, because traditionally the man ends up fronting the cost for those outings. Time will only tell, this is why you shouldn't do anything real expensive until you are exclusive or she puts out.(That way at least you get something out of it. Remember guys some hook-ups are just that hook-ups, we always don't want a relationship, we just wanna get our rocks off.) So let me toss you some indicators that your a provider:

She says she likes going out to nice restruants and prefers that to just chilling with you and getting dinner in for a change.

She'll mention what other guys try to do for her. She's acting just like a poker player here, she trying to get you to raise the stakes for the other players (the guys) so they have to out bid each other (buy her stuff).

She never calls, emails, and doesn't want to talk long, unless you have something to offer(An expensive date, concert tickets, ect.)

She pushes to have a first week aniversary and drops hints about buying "nice" gifts for each other.

Thats just a couple, now all women have a tendancy deep down to expect a man to lavish them with gifts, just like their fathers when they bought them that new barbie or horse riding lessons.
Some women figure out they can't expect the same level of attention from men that their daddies gave. Others, well to them your are an avatar of their father, you are imbued with the same qualities that he posses. So the best techinque I know to ensure that you know whether your women sees you as a provider or lover is this:

When giving gifts start off small, and inexpensive. Cards and a flower for a special occasion. As you time goes on if notice she is chaffing for 100 dollar pieces of jewelry when you've only been dating for 3 weeks. Let her go.

-Grey Fox
 

Kourt

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PeeGee

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11. Kissing. No need to kiss on the first date, unless you make some serious headway. If she tries to kiss you, turn your head and let her kiss your check.(This is if you want to play a little game to up her interest level. This work great on HB's who will be left wondering why you didn't let her kiss you when every other guy would be jumping at the chance. They start to question their femine prowess, and the next time you kiss them for real they will feel its something special that your gracing them with.)


--

I've had a roommate literally go berzerk over this happening. The guy she spent the whole night at the bar with turned his head when she went for a kiss. For the next two hours she was ranting about being a lesbian and all this nonsense (and this is a HB7 at least).

The following week the guy came over because she invited him for a home-cooked dinner. The next morning I stumbled into the bathroom to find a coloured condom in the toilet.

So I've seen first hand how effective this is, though I doubt it was intentional :D
 

B-Lemond

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Just a few things I'd like to clear up:

Everyone knows that the dates are supposed to be fun !

What's more fun a dinner or an action date (bowling, go-karting, etc.)?

Exactly...




About the whole 3-day rule debate as well as weither you should bring flowers or not, the answer does not lie in a rule .

The answer lies on being Different in an attractive way.

If everyone is doing the 3-day thing, then you don't do the 3-day rule. If everyone is bringing flowers, then you don't bring flowers and vice versa.

Be DIFFERENT in an ATTRACTIVE way.
 

THE_ADDMAN

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INDIFFERENCE gentlemen!

call when YOU want. it doesnt matter when you call, but *how* you call

if you call and say "hi... umm.. this is ADDMAN... I really had fun talking to you last week..."
then it wont matter if its 1 day or 6 days

if u call the day after u get her number
"hey lady, whats shakin, I'm just bout to head out, free up ur plans cuz I'm not busy tonight"

indifferent, cool, confident.

one of the basic rules of persuasion (originally said by the man Rick H. himself) is that if you do anything with enough authority, you'll get away with it. if she isnt "attracted" enough to kiss, make a joke bout how if she'd do something for you, she might even earn a kiss. who knows, she may dig you, and you may just be reading the signals wrong...

now that being said, dont be a doof. if shes scowling and rocking in her chair pleading with her eyes for someone to sweep her away from you, dont lunge at her with your lips. use your intuition, and rock her world :cool:

best of luck, gentlemen
 

cervantesscthree

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Addman's got it on point. But from my experience over here in the UK and dealing with girls around my age (21) I (or my older cousin more like) found waiting to call DOESN'T help. Not days anyway. Eventually we tried something which we thought was AFC and called them the next day . . . It worked magic. Flake rates reduced. We discovered that this sort of early contact was what the girls were conditioned too, and because we were alpha and/or don juan in our approach and so on, not contacting her for several days gave the impression that we had loads of other options and didn't have genuine interest in her besides her being another number to our collection. In other words, the girls saw no way in being able to keep us if she lost our attention within hours of meeting her. It took us YEARS to figure out why we were getting so many flakes, and ever since then, (texting straight after first meeting and calling them the next day) the first dates and so on have been coming like magic.

By the way this was mainly form day game, but it's still more effective on night game if you haven't managed to sleep with her on the same night. I only noticed the waiting a few days working on HB8s+ nearing 10 seven, but for 7s, waiting days to call isn't doing it. This could change as I get older I don't know, but for now it's the way that works for me.
 

GrowingPains

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glass half full

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I'm glad someone dug this post out. My curiosity arises with a new question, on this old topic. Does anyone think anything needs updated on this thread?

It's been here a modern full generation...

One that I am especially interested in, The First Kiss. Is this still a thing on the end of first dates?
Even in the times this post was started, I noticed controversy among women as to whether it was appropriate, or not...

What say YOU?
 

Espi

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Strictly my opinion here:

If she doesn't kiss me by the end of the 1st date, there's a very slim chance I'll ever initiate contact with her again.

My time and attention are limited. I've got no problem immediately shifting my focus on other girls.
 

sh-rewd

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Strictly my opinion here:

If she doesn't kiss me by the end of the 1st date, there's a very slim chance I'll ever initiate contact with her again.

My time and attention are limited. I've got no problem immediately shifting my focus on other girls.
I'm new to the game, but I think if you don't go for the kiss on the first date (obviously you need to ratchet up the heat during the date for this to make sense, she needs to be into you. If she isn't you ****ed up.) you are communicating weakness and a lack of confidence. If she doesn't kiss you back or you get the cheek move on.
 

Espi

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I'm new to the game, but I think if you don't go for the kiss on the first date (obviously you need to ratchet up the heat during the date for this to make sense, she needs to be into you. If she isn't you ****ed up.) you are communicating weakness and a lack of confidence. If she doesn't kiss you back or you get the cheek move on.
Advice:

When they turn their cheek, kiss it ("peck") then kiss her OTHER cheek as well. Then say, "Goodnight" in your most seductive calm way.

In 2019 I always EXPECT a kiss by the end of the 1st date and 9 out of 10 times I get something.

But, in 2019 I'm ok with short kisses ("pecks") and cheekturners even. By date 2, I REQUIRE the kind of kiss that makes her panties melt. I've had several great sexual encounters with women who didn't kiss on the first date.
 
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Juanto

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About the transition from 1st date to 2nd, how do you go about it? Do you set it up the day after the 1st date, do you wait 2/3 days before reaching her again? How do you do it?
 
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Espi

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Read this:

One common problem with cold approach pickup (and dating in general) is that you are automatically penalized for being a stranger. You can go out and have a great date with a girl, only to have all the attraction evaporate in a few days as you exchange text messages, trying to plan another date.

The fact that you aren't someone that she sees regularly in her daily life means that it will be VERY difficult for her to feel any type of connection to you until you sleep with her. However, if you attempt to "forge" a connection by texting her continually, you will likely be punished for showing too much eagerness. It's a catch 22; this is why most traditional "dating" models don't lead to relationships.

The best strategy is to mimic the communication strategies of high valued men and prey on her need for validation. This is what it means to be a "challenge." Since the chemistry from your first date will be forgotten in days, the only way to get her interest level up is going to be to plant the seed that you aren't sure about her yet and have other prospects.

This means to avoid giving her any closure following the first date. Don't make plans for a second date on the first one, don't text her to make sure she got in ok at the end of the night, and don't text her the next day to thank her for a nice time. Wait at least a couple of days, unless she contacts you first...and even then, show restraint. Her need for validation is going to be the key to getting her out with you again, so you need to make her feel that tension and uncertainty.

When you DO ask her out again, keep it short and sweet- don't try too hard to be witty and keep these dates SIMPLE. A man valued by many women will NOT bend over backwards trying to impress a girl he just met. Trying to impress her will send her running at this stage in the game.

In the event that she can not make the day you suggest and doesn't offer an alternate day, say nothing. Either wait for her to text you again, or wait a week and contact her.

If she cancels the second date abruptly, say nothing.

The common thread in these responses is to treat disinterest with amplified disinterest- meaning that you won't even offer her closure by saying, "sure, that ok." This is the only way you can demonstrate value in these situations.

I hate game playing, and it's a shame that two people that like each other can't just go out and be transparent with one another. Unfortunately, part of building a connection with a woman lies in having her feel insecure about your feelings towards her -- in the early stages, anyway. If you've had a string of (seemingly) great first dates, only to have the girl disappear afterwards, it is because you failed to leave room for doubt. You will have much better luck if you disappear for a bit immediately following the first date.
 
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