"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

The Greek's Approach Journal and Evolution

The Greek

Don Juan
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Stats: Student, early 20's, 6'1 230 lbs, black hair, caucasian, living in the UK

Quick Introduction: Have posted before, but not seriously. I've been reading this website for over a year now, but being newly single am making a fresh start now. I have taken out some negative things that were destroying my confidence with women (toxic friends, dating sites with low success ratios, ex gf's on MSN) I have improved my appearance through training, grooming and good clothing.

So for the first night of 'sarging' we went clubbing. I sent a text to a female friend of mine in case she might want to join us but she was busy. More on this later on*

First approach: older looking chick HB8-9 dancing on her own. I made an observational opener about her tatoos and was asking her about the rest of them. I touched the one on the small of her back, did some kino. I asked her for her age as I was genuinely curious, she said 39. I complimented her and joked that I didn't believe her and she was just saying it to blow me off. She insisted she wasn't and held my arm reassuringly.

She complained about this guy she was dating and said she didn't understand guys. She made a point of stressing she's not in a relationship with him but asked me what I thought of his behaviour. It turns out she works in the legal field, which I'm also involved in as a student. She turned to go to the bathroom after I made her laugh, so wanting to play it cool, I went back to my friends and watched my other friend try to pick up this set. When I noticed she'd come back, I saw her and her friends packing up. This was the chance for the number close, and I hesitated. There'd been some IOI's there but the massive age difference put me off. She even left quite affectionately with a hug and blew me a kiss. Oh well, next time.

Approach 2:

A 2 set HB 6 and HB 8 with 2 guys with'em. My friend wanted to approach them so I thought I'd engage the group and give him a chance to work, but he left straight away and I was left stuck there with some awkward conversation - they didn't speak much English, lol.

Approac 3:

In the upper bar I noticed a girl HB 7 who worked for security who was doing something to her shoe. I opened on that, but she wasn't very receptive throughout the convo. Turns out she's married to another security guard downstairs. I asked for a hug at the end just for the heck of it, but only got a handshake, lol

Approach 4:

We were all arguing about whether my friend's shirt matched his face (drunken banter, lol), so I opened a 2 set HB 5 HB7 with an opinion opener about his shirt. They didn't speak very good English either, they were Austrian. Turns out they're leaving town tomorrow. I kind of visibly lost interest in the convo after that, maybe I shouldn't have shown it but whatevs, haha.

Approach 5:

This group of American girls came up to us and said hi. Immediately one of them, a HB 7-8 was making strong eye contact with me and was being very touchy feely. I reciprocated with some kino but didn't want to appear too eager. I made some jokes and tried to keep in contact with the whole group as I had a strong sense that one of them was going to block me if I made a move on her. She may be going to Greece at the same time when I'm going back home for holidays, so I offered to hook her up with some tour guides and stuff that I know. All her friends were commenting on my peacock item (a certain novelty shirt under my designer jacket) For some reason one of her friend said I looked like a tool and tried a strong c8ckblock throughout, I just responded nonchalantly, so I decided to stop dancing and just number close her. I had to go look for my friend anyway, who was actually getting head in some corner of the club, LOL

So anyway, these are the 5 main approaches. Not great, I know, but it's the first time I went out with a goal in my mind and the most I've ever done with complete strangers. I will improve on all the areas I've spotted deficiencies in.

Will post more on a dillema with my female friend I mentioned later, and hopefully some more approaches within a few days.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

The Greek

Don Juan
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*

So I made a note in my FR earlier that I texted a HB 7 female college colleague about the fact me and the boys were going out. The interesting part comes in later, when I came home from the night, I checked my facebook because I had a message from another girl I'm talking to. I also check the news feed. It turns out that HB 7 is now single according to facebook- she's broken up with her BF.

I met this girl through a mutual friend a few months ago, and she's had a BF from the start. I was not forcibly friend zoned, rather, we have a legitimate friendship going, we've done activities together, joke around a lot/have good kino. We'd arranged to play cards this week with her and a friend of hers that I'm interested in and I think is interested in me since she brought up the card game to my HB7 friend- probably an excuse to see me again. Given our good friendship, the fact she had a BF and the fact the girl that introduced us had a one-itis for me, it'd have been a **** move to do anything. So I have not, so far, expressed any sexual interest apart from some eye contact and kino when we were dancing. She's shown a little bit too, but not exceeding my own.

I am not quite sure how to proceed now; we still have the arranged card game with this girl and her HB 7 friend from work. It is not like I am desperate and am turning for the first available girl; I have lots of plates spinning ATM, I just find the bond of friendship we have to be very playful and attractive and maybe turning it into something more might be good. I realise that this could risk the friendship, so I'm not exactly set on what to do.

So now I am wondering. Should I even mention the fact I saw she's single now? (Maybe a light hearted neg llike: "So, I hear you've been breaking hearts again, tut tut") Should I make a move on her friend and gauge her reaction to that? Or should I go directly for her with some kino escalation. Or should I just continue doing my own thing with other girls (well obv I will do that anyway, but should I not do anything else?) and hope she notices the preselection and shows some IOI's? Would not mind opinions. :crackup:
 

The Greek

Don Juan
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Yeah I don't mind being rebound, but I'll do my best to avoid LJBF. So you reckon openly flirting with her friend can make her show her interest?

Things I plan to work on this week: Make at least 2 day game approaches in addition to the usual night game.

Work on holding eye contact when a girl's staring, then approach them. (Cajun)
 

The Greek

Don Juan
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So for a lil' updated on the HB8 I # closed on friday, we were due to go for a drink today and if I liked her maybe more; we'd made the plans tentatively so I IM'ed her when I saw her online on fb this morning when I was in university on my laptop

me: Stop obsessing!
her: hahah I'm not, I just leave facebook on a lot
me: Likely story. So let's meet outside XXXX tonight at 8? (we said tonight, right?)
her: [long pause] yeah the thing is I kinda promised my friends who're coming into town we'd have a drink, so I'd feel bad to ditch them.

me: Aight, that's cool.

her: we gonna go to XXX I could call you with our plans and we could meet up?

me: Nah got an early seminar so don't fancy going out too late. I'll be in touch about rescheduling.

her: Ok, sorry! Let me know!

Anyway some thoughts

Even though she offered an alternative, I didn't wanna meet a group of them. That just seemed like an invitation for LJBF - I got a lot of female friends already and don't wanna spend money to go out unless I'm gonna sarge.

Will give her one more chance for a date at some point next week or week after next, but I'm not holding my breath over this plate!
 

The Greek

Don Juan
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So it's time for another update. I've not been able to make progress due to exams and some practical things, but did go out this friday "in the zone". Me and my friends and one of their GF's went to a small club. They were mostly ****blocking me by laughing at me as I approached and pointing at random girls and asking me to go pick them up, which screwed up at least one approach where the girl insisted that I give her my number instead of a number close.

However there are some positives. My approach anxiety seems to be -gone- at least for night game. I started the night off by just walking up to a set of 4 hot chicks and making small talk. I was chatting to this HB9 but her friends were wandering around and I could tell she wanted to join them when she suggested that I go beat up my friends for not helping me out, haha. So I just hugged her and exited.

Then I approached a 2 set that didn't go too well, my friends were sort of looking at me and laughing to the point where the girls asked what they were doing. I had to give on of themy number as she wasn't interested in an exchange.

The third set was this girl who was sitting on her own, I go up to her ask her why she's sitting alone and make some small talk. She didn't speak English too well, but her friend, a HB8 sat down alongside us. The first target girl kind of wandered off so I got to talk to her alone.

HB8:You smell really good what is that.
Me: Haha, your friend said that too. It's CK's Obsession for Men.
HB8: Hah, Rawr *she makes biting motion or something* that's really nice.
Me:*shrug and smile* Yeah, I know.
HB8: So how old are you?
Me: 23
HB8: Aww he's a baby *she says that to her friend who wandered off just after*
Anyway that's followed by some small talk/rapport. Turns out she's 29 and living with a family as an au pair.

Me: So, if a kid's been naughty, would you spank them?
Hb8: No, I never would. My mom taught me *blah blah*
Me: That's cool. I should get back to my friends, I've left them alone-
Hb8: *interrupting* oh, no, I understand, of course, go
Me: But we should exchange numbers first, is that ok?
Hb8: *gives me a surprised look* Oh, yeah, sure.

I think the surprise was probably either because I didn't really escalate to a sexual frame with her (most likely) or because she thought I was blowing her off at first. I saw her later on the dancefloor and smacked her a$$ while walking past, haha, it was too tempting. She looked a bit shocked at that and waved her finger disapprovingly. Will be interesting to see if anything comes of this number close.

After this I approached a girl that was eyeballing me hardcore. She had a BF and was trying to hide so that he wouldn't see her dancing w/me. She gave a lot of indicators of disinterest but then her BF left and she was staring at me with my friends and smiling ALL the time. So I approached her, had her grind on me a little and then tried to number close. She was giving me her life story then and I got bored. Her English wasn't too good either, so I sort of spun her around to grind on me and then lightly pushed her away and waved goodbye, haha. She was really surprised and wanted me to come back but I was sick of her c0ckteasing, we then left.

I'm more happy with my demeanour than any of the results. I can physically see improvements, and even my friends who were laughing at me said I've gotten a lot better.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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The Greek

Don Juan
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I've also done some day game approaches. A really good one with a tragic ending was when I was approached this HB8 at the bus stop. We were waiting for ages, so I smiled at her and said that the bus is probably not coming because of the traffic around the football match which just finished.

Me: So where are you from, I can sense an accent.
HB8: *smiles* You have to guess
Me: Ooh, I like games. Is it Ukraine?
HB8: *laughs* blah blah no
Me: blah blah more guessing
Turns out she's from Lithuania but sees herself as Russian.
Me: and where do you think I'm from then.
HB8: Hmm *grinning* Romania?
Me: Haha, no what's wrong with you. Think of sun, beaches, culture
HB8: blah blah Hmm.. it's not Greece is it,
Me: Why is it not Greece, haha you're not very good at this.
*the bus comes, we get on, talking about where we live. She says she really thought I was British and compliments me on my accent*
I'm close to getting to my stop so I ask her if she wants to make some new friends in London. She says yeah, so I reach for my phone and remember the battery's DEAD. There's like 10 seconds so I kind of panic as I try to think of how to close. Unfortunately this kind of threw me off. It was about to be my first succesful cold approach of a hot girl. I ended up just saying goodbye and
getting off.

Pros: Never before have I been able to do this so effortlessly.
Cons: Bad little twist of fate. Will not make the same mistake a third time. (something similar happened on a train a month ago)
 

The Greek

Don Juan
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So some updates; RL is interrupting with the game but interesting developments. The HB8 nanny I allude to two posts back texted me an hour before our date

HB: Hey so sorry to do this to you but I just got invited to a club with my friends and I really wanna go, if you want to come you're more than welcome otherwise I have to cancel tonight.

Me: Nah that's aight, enjoy.

I gave that particular one a week off for that bytch move and then gave her a call. Get a text back "Whoever you are, please leave me alone!!!" Haha. Guess that stung her a bit. Maybe I could have handled it better but I'm kind of sick of this dates-turning-into-social gatherings trend that's happened a few times, from now on I'll just ignore any chick that does this.
 

The Greek

Don Juan
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Also last week I ended up going clubbing.. alone. Friends cancelled but I figured I'd go and work on my game. Made a few approaches, got a few numbers. I have made massive progress in terms of approach anxiety at least, it's the most casual thing in the world to me nowadays.

First one was an HB8 walking in to one of the bars and sitting down by herself next to the two guys that were by me. One of them is urging the other to make a move. I say to his friend "Tell him to make a move or I will." haha

So he doesn't and I do.

Me: Hey, so why are you sitting here by yourself, did your friends leave you haha.
HB8: Oh, no, my feet hurt. [smiling]
Me: Oh, okay, I thought you looked depressed so thought I'd come and cheer you up.
So I kept going from there with a confident and funny frame. Built a little rapport. She was laughing a lot but I had a gut instinct that she wasn't too interested. Body language etc. I number closed and then the guys who were sitting next to us were like "That was good man, blah blah"

My suspicions turned out to be true when she didn't respond to my text message a couple of days after or my phonecall, haha. Bad result but I'm beginning to get a good grasp of interest level and am starting to instinctively know if a girl is up for it or not. Of course I'll usually assume the sale and have confidence, but I still like this intuition.
 
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