So I was at a bar last night... all my buds and a chick (interested in her) who was hanging out with us for the 1st time. Anyhow, she asks ME to go play some vid game with her. At this point, I've kind of been ignoring her most of the night, and finally agreed after I was settled in. Just before we're about to play, she asks one of my better-looking buddy's to join us. I'm pretty accepting of myself but must admit that he does play on my (and I'm sure others) insecurities a wee bit. Well, low and behold she proceeds to flirt with him in front of me, and it got me thinking what was up. Anyone else encounter this move? Thoughts?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
the girl & the friend
- Thread starter mrmoe
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
T Money
Senior Don Juan
B!tch.
I'll bet you 100 bucks if you grabbed another chick and started dancing with her the one friend that was flirting with your friend would get jealous of that chick and try and steal you away from her.
yeah it's happened to me.
I'll bet you 100 bucks if you grabbed another chick and started dancing with her the one friend that was flirting with your friend would get jealous of that chick and try and steal you away from her.
yeah it's happened to me.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
You were her safety net. She wasn't trying to make you jealous; you simply weren't her target - this guy was. You were there to supply her some consolation attention in the event that the guy rejected her. Classic AW behavior.
Anything else you'd like to know?
Anything else you'd like to know?
Dergz
Don Juan
some classic attention-hoe behaviour right there, she used yu man, as a back up in case things didnt go according to plan. yu shulda done wat T Money said - hook up with a random chick.
anyways H2O under the bridge,at least now yu know wats up.
anyways H2O under the bridge,at least now yu know wats up.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
That's kind of what I figured, Rollo. I have to teach myself not to become a pawn like that in the future. Drives me bananas knowing I fell for it, but hey it's a lesson learned. Why would she have proceeded to flirt with me before that time (alot of deliberate body contact, etc.) then? This was not done in front of her target. I'd call her a tease but she really isn't that type.
She was working the group. She wanted to hook up with someone in the group but in her head she already ranked which guy she wanted the most (and you weren't it but you were used as a pawn).mrmoe said:
Other reasons could have been: Often it comes down to who has the bigger balls to do something and your friend stepped up to the challange. Your became submissive when the other guy came into the picture and instead of having a good time with the 2 of them, you became a frustrated chump and sulked and silently backed into the corner because in your head you already gave up.
No point of dwelling but plenty of time to learn your mistakes and correct them.mrmoe said:
Next time be a bit more aggressive. You want to hook up with a girl then take the charge, isolate her, run your game on her and get her number (This way you avoid her leading you to nowhere since you are in charge and you avoid competition from other guys). Also it is good to work on other areas such as confidence because you shouldn't compare yourself to other men but to your previous self.
DJD