So I was at a bar last night... all my buds and a chick (interested in her) who was hanging out with us for the 1st time. Anyhow, she asks ME to go play some vid game with her. At this point, I've kind of been ignoring her most of the night, and finally agreed after I was settled in. Just before we're about to play, she asks one of my better-looking buddy's to join us. I'm pretty accepting of myself but must admit that he does play on my (and I'm sure others) insecurities a wee bit. Well, low and behold she proceeds to flirt with him in front of me, and it got me thinking what was up. Anyone else encounter this move? Thoughts?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
the girl & the friend
- Thread starter mrmoe
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
T Money
Senior Don Juan
B!tch.
I'll bet you 100 bucks if you grabbed another chick and started dancing with her the one friend that was flirting with your friend would get jealous of that chick and try and steal you away from her.
yeah it's happened to me.
I'll bet you 100 bucks if you grabbed another chick and started dancing with her the one friend that was flirting with your friend would get jealous of that chick and try and steal you away from her.
yeah it's happened to me.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
You were her safety net. She wasn't trying to make you jealous; you simply weren't her target - this guy was. You were there to supply her some consolation attention in the event that the guy rejected her. Classic AW behavior.
Anything else you'd like to know?
Anything else you'd like to know?
Dergz
Don Juan
some classic attention-hoe behaviour right there, she used yu man, as a back up in case things didnt go according to plan. yu shulda done wat T Money said - hook up with a random chick.
anyways H2O under the bridge,at least now yu know wats up.
anyways H2O under the bridge,at least now yu know wats up.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
That's kind of what I figured, Rollo. I have to teach myself not to become a pawn like that in the future. Drives me bananas knowing I fell for it, but hey it's a lesson learned. Why would she have proceeded to flirt with me before that time (alot of deliberate body contact, etc.) then? This was not done in front of her target. I'd call her a tease but she really isn't that type.
She was working the group. She wanted to hook up with someone in the group but in her head she already ranked which guy she wanted the most (and you weren't it but you were used as a pawn).mrmoe said:
Other reasons could have been: Often it comes down to who has the bigger balls to do something and your friend stepped up to the challange. Your became submissive when the other guy came into the picture and instead of having a good time with the 2 of them, you became a frustrated chump and sulked and silently backed into the corner because in your head you already gave up.
No point of dwelling but plenty of time to learn your mistakes and correct them.mrmoe said:
Next time be a bit more aggressive. You want to hook up with a girl then take the charge, isolate her, run your game on her and get her number (This way you avoid her leading you to nowhere since you are in charge and you avoid competition from other guys). Also it is good to work on other areas such as confidence because you shouldn't compare yourself to other men but to your previous self.
DJD