"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

The girl is "confused"

frank17

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 20, 2005
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Age
39
Hi to all,
There is this girl at work that I have being linking for a long time now.
We hang out and everything, I haven't kiss her though. When we go out we hold hands and sh1t.. but not kissed.
Anyway I have asked her out a few times.. but she says that she doesn't know what to do. She has told me that she likes me and that she has feelings for me but doesn't know what to do. I mean she doesn't know if to go out or not with me. I have known her for as long as 6 months now... and nothing has happen. I mean what do you guys think I should do? Because I asked her if she wanted to give me a no then to do so.. because I mean its better a no than being waiting. But I think she just doesn't want to ruin the chance that she has with me.

I even asked her that if she wanted we could just be friends.. but she said that what if one day she decides not just to be friends. So you know those are the things that confuse me.

What shoud I do? Next her...? Give her time to think? however I'm giving her time but I wanted to know if I should you know stop giving her as much attention as I give her now. Anyway I just want opinions and suggestions on this matter from those that have beign in this possition before.

If you ask me that if I like this girl.. I really do thats why I dodn't know what to do. Anyway I will appreciate if you take your time to give me a suggestion.. because it really sucks to be not knowing what to do.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Roobs

Don Juan
Joined
May 9, 2005
Messages
45
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Location
Australia
hmm.. if u guys hold hands n **** when u hang out together, she DOES like you to some degree. Just kiss her man, grab your balls and do it. wait till theres not 2 many people around, when ur sharing a "moment" together, and just do it-- you'll get the voice in your hear that says "hey, now would be a good time to try and kiss her" LISTEN TO THAT VOICE

there are 4 things that can happen after this:

1) she turns away when you try to kiss her (baaaad)
2) she doesent really kiss back (also bad)
3) she kisses you back (good)
4) she says GET THE F*&K OUT OF MY SIGHT, waits till you falls asleep and cuts your d*ick off and throws it out the window of a moving car (thanks fight club)

your chick could be different, but i had a girl tell me she was "confused" for a while, i did the wuss thing, got clingy tried to extract a yes or no, and got the LJBF.

my advice is just to chill, dont try to be "going out" with this chick... try and kiss her, if that goes well for ya one thing usually leads to another, just keep ur cool in every situation, and dont be pushing for a "yes we are going out/no we are not going out" that just takes all the fun out of the game
;)

And also, because she has been saying maybe, yes maybe not, im confused for so long (f&*king you around by my books) any other girls are fair game; flirt with other chicks when shes around if your not allready.

peace
 

Jerky Boi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2004
Messages
551
Reaction score
0
I know you're really confused right now but you really need to not push the yes/ no decision. You act like it's completely up to her if you two are together or not. You need to just grab your nuts and kiss her. Believe me, there's a lot you can find out about a girl when you kiss her. Let her know you're interested in her as a possible relationship, but above all, don't get your hopes up about her. Like he said, she might just be wussin' out on ya with the whole "confused" thing. I've had many girls give me that whole run-around and all that has came out of that is the old jlbf, not directly though. Just take it slow, go out with her some more, and then finally go for the kiss.
 

frank17

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 20, 2005
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Age
39
I totally understand that what I need to d is kiss her.. and I have had the opportunities to do so... but sh1t I just couldn't do it.
I'm a kinda shy guy.. So everytime that I have had the opportunity to do so I dodn't use it.
To tell you the truth is that I'm just scared you know... I haven't had a girlfriend before so thats my problem... I'm scare to ruin the chance that I have with this girl.
And having no girlfriend before means that I dodn't have experience... and she does. So theirs the problem.

Everytime that I think of doing something I get p*ussy out of doing because I think I will messed up and she will think that I'm a loser or something.
So thats about why I haven't had the balls to do anything.
 

Roobs

Don Juan
Joined
May 9, 2005
Messages
45
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Location
Australia
I think we all been there at one stage.

Man LOOSEN UP....if you just relax, and take everyhitng as it comes; almost indifferent to the situation--- you will be the only person who can controll if you are happy or not.

think about it, if you are in a situation where you would normally get upset about something-- you fail a class, someone gives you ****-- you are the one who is making yourself upset. if you make a concious decision not to let it phase you, you will be happier.

Apply this to the girl situation, and know THERE ARE 3 BILLION MORE FISH IN THE SEA.. you will get over your fear of "blowing your chances"

KNOW THAT YOU CAN WALK AWAY-- you should be calling the shots dude. you should be saying "hmm, i wonder if i should put any more time into this chick, considering she might just be an attention wh**e"

The longer you wait the more she will wonder where your balls are at. thats gonna be the only reason she thinks your a loser.

Based on what youve said-- this chick likes you. if you hadnt been a *****, you could have been in hers fro 6 months allready!!

if you dont kiss her i will
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Top