The ghost of beta past...

[rhythmic]

I've managed to avoid going to weddings until now. Something about them just doesn't rub well with me, so I normally make other arrangements specifically to avoid them. Finally the time's come when I have to attend one!

There is gonna be a SMOKING hot girl there who I haven't seen for a good few years (8, 10 years maybe). I was a whiny *****-boy back then, unfortunately, so that impression is probably still with her (I used to tell her how beautiful she was, in the most pathetic way possible, etc).

A friend of mine (the bride, who coincidentally I got some action from a few years ago ) has a sense of humour and, knowing about how much I liked the girl years ago, has stitched me up nicely by organising for us to sit next to each other to eat. Damn it.

Cut to the chase: any good tips for correcting past mega-beta behavior? I'm not looking to make anything of it, I'm taking a break from putting effort in with them right now. But leaving a better impression this time would be excellent.

 

[TheGambino]

Just tell her how good your life is these days. You work on your carreer and enjoy life to the max. Ask a lot of questions about her and don't pedestalize (lmao ignore my spelling im dutch) her at all. Be open, laugh, and be interested in what she's doing. Make some funny c*ocky comments and if it clicks well and your vibing well go for the close man why not. Sort of invite her to your awesome life by asking her out for drinks and see how she reacts. Also don't focus on her all day, talk to other people also, other girls, be social and get back to her sometimes if you know what I mean.

I love weddings by the way, suit and tie, music, food, meeting new people its awesome brah!

Goodluck

 

[sylvester the cat]

Don't tell her anything. Keep your mouth shut and let her do all the talking.

 

[El Payaso]

Quite honestly, I wouldn't even talk to her at all. I would just ignore her. I was in your situation once but the occasion was my sister's birthday dinner. Her friend was a girl I used to crush on a long time ago and I acted beta as fvck.

She sat next to me but the only words I uttered to her was just hi when she greeted me. Other than that, I spent the evening socializing with other people and acted like she wasn't even in the room.

It must have gotten to her because the next day my sister said "Mary asked why you were ignoring her?"

 

[Thorninmyside]

Show her a changed man kicking ass at life and forgetting to give a **** who likes it or not.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Hey there! Great OP - I responded to this question by doing a podcast about it! Check it out, I use a story from my own life to give an example of how you can rile up interest in a previous crush (though, for the record, I do NOT recommend going after them - BUT, if you're going to try and do it anyway, I HAVE done it before and this details how it can be done):

SLW PODCAST #172: Can Your "New" Self Raise Interest in Old Crushes?

Hope this helps!

 

[zekko]

Quite honestly, I wouldn't even talk to her at all. I would just ignore her. I was in your situation once but the occasion was my sister's birthday dinner. Her friend was a girl I used to crush on a long time ago and I acted beta as fvck.

She say next to me but the only words I uttered to her was just hi when she greeted me. Other them that, I spent the evening socializing with other people and acted like she wasn't even in the room.

It must have gotten to get because the next day my sister said "Mary asked why you were ignoring her?"

I missed the part where you banged her.

 

[El Payaso]

I missed the part where you banged her.

I didn't want to because she had gotten ugly and looked like she had been around the block. I was also seeing another woman.

 

[El Payaso]

i disagree with this.

i wouldnt totally ignore because thats plain immature IMO.
in my mind, ignoring her = giving her more importance. she knows your ignoring her = sulking afc

when i find myself in this situation, i lay down some charm and always neg hit as subtle as possible and focus my attention on my date (If any) and others. the girl in question is insignificant and of the least concern. even if she tries to bait you in, aloof is the key

It might come off as immature but I just didn't care about or fancy the girl in any way at all which was why I didn't care for her presence. It seems like the OP still fancies his old crush though.

 

[PokerStar]

first thing i would say is "wow, you peaked in high school" lol jk.

luck = is when preparation meets opportunity.

flex your don juan muscles. dont be lazy. let us see what you got!!!!

 

[rhythmic]

I completely forgot the wedding was even happening (been doing 65 hour weeks and not paying attention to Facebook) so it's too close to the time to sort out a +1/date I'm happy with. On the plus side this leaves me a bit more freedom on the day, I don't like being tied to someone, and there'll be plenty of people I know there to bounce off.

Getting a new suit for this - I need a more "casual" suit anyway (I have 3 suits, all of them business-oriented). Should be looking sharp!

Harry, going to check out your link after work. Good to see you're still active here, I learned a lot from your site a couple of years ago!

I don't know about whether I "fancy" her, but she's at least an 8. I'm focusing on giving a good impression first and foremost, but I can't remember a time I've acted more pathetically than with this one. The inexperience of youth, eh?!

From looking at the replies so far... Seems I shouldn't be paying her too much attention and just have fun! Sounds like a good plan.