Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The Game and Self-Esteem

Mantra

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I am very much of the belief that our beliefs create our reality, our experience of the world. Therefore, if I for example consistently go around telling myself that I am a disaster at cold approaches, then that is what I will be. If I say to myself that I feel more and more abundance in my life, then that will also be my experience. Note, though, that there may well be a lag effect here. Things don't change overnight, but will gradually permeate your consciousness and world. To change your beliefs does however require a bit of self-analysis and work.

As to the question "to game or not to game?"....well that's a tricky one. If one is using for example a funny opener and a few playfull things that one has learnt, and seductive talk, in an interaction, then that's great. I think that we need to ask ourselves seriously though "how much am I trying to paper over low self-esteem with material?".

If the honest answer is "not at all" then keep following the path you are on and using what you've learnt. If the answer is "a lot!" then the best course of action is to take measures to fix your self-image, and inner game before trying to compensate with loads of outer routines etc.

There are books and courses in self esteem all over the the place, and doing some of the exercises Anthony Robbins talks about can also be a great help.

One thing is certain.....if you use loads of game but have no congruent sense of personal power under it, you will fall at the first hurdle, especially with well balanced, intelligent women. A scent of desperation will permeate your interactions.

Build your inner world, absorb and model great mythical heroes and inspirational figures, literature, art, get close to nature, create goals and plans to reach them, learn to meditate (a purely masculine activity, becoming "the witness", according to David Deida), cut down on porn and masturbation, challenge yourself....and watch your identity blossom. Your inner strength will then carry you forward and outer success will follow.

As you become stronger you will allow more and more of yourself to shine through in your interactions which gives you a glow and charisma which are very attractive.

Build you self-esteem and outstrip the field.....today is the day to start!
 
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Bvbidd

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So.. your telling us to develop a psychotic condition in order to increase how self-esteem and get women?

Posts like this is why this place is really good at getting weird ass creepy shut-in nerds to become weird ass creepy nerds hitting on women.

Let's just please all live in the real world and not build our own.

It's really hard to belive guys that talk about reading and modelling mythical heroes, meditating, and watching your identity blossom actually get women AT ALL. It sounds a lot more like nerds trying to find a reason to keep living.

Guys that do get women wouldn't give a **** about any of that, and just try to have fun and have a life.
 

Skilla_Staz

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Build your inner world, absorb and model great mythical heroes, literature, art, get close to nature, create goals and plans to reach them, learn to meditate (a purely masculine activity, becoming "the witness", according to David Deida), cut down on porn and masturbation, challenge yourself....and watch your identity blossom. Your inner strength will then carry you forward and outer success will follow.
Mythical Heroes Thing - You'll seem like a nerd if she finds out.
Literature - Being well read is always a plus, just don't throw it in her face
Art - Same with literature
Close to Nature - Can be enjoyable, even if she doesn't care
Goal - ALways do this
Meditation - Can be useful, relaxing, I don't know if its a "purely masculine activity though, seems in the middle to me.
Less Porn - I guess it sounds alright. Might be hard for some guys, but I've been getting bored with it lately anyways.

The rest of that stuff sounded like some self help schmuck trying to convince me to buy a book.

Simply put, be as balanced as you can be.
 

Mantra

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Why are you even worried about seeming like a nerd to girls, Skilla-Staz? And BvBidd, I can guarantee you that I am out in the field a great deal. I have moderately good success, and am one of the best approachers my buddies know. Just thought I'd enlighten you about the situation.
 

Deadly_Ripped

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Seriously, introspection and finding solitary activities with which to better my own self-view have been as integral in my path to maturity/confidence/success with women as have the tips I find on this website.

Personally, I lift weights, have a bonsai tree, played the piano before I got carpal tunnel, and I am intensely involved in my college major (biochemistry). These things change my focus from any one thing like girls, or studying, or whatever's on my mind. Weight lifting has increased my self confidence 100 fold, even though I'm a hardgainer. You can wear a mask of confidence and smoothness, but eventually it'll fall and you'll feel like a little dog left out in arctic winter. A solid inner sense of self is central to contentment and happiness, and no amount of getting laid will fill the lack of said central being.
 

Mantra

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Deadly Ripped, what can I say?
A man of substance! Good to hear you've got your life together in many areas and appreciate a life of awareness.
 

Mr. Mystery II

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Good post.

I think the problem others have had with it is the "wordiness" of it. A communication truth: The more that is said, the less is understood.

I hear what your saying, don't rely on tricks, focus on yourself. I whole-heartedly agree with you.

But...

There comes a point when people become to focused on perfection and fail to live in the moment and miss out on alot of spontenaity (sp?) in life. I know, I've been on both sides of that fence and I feel I'm just recently starting to find a balance between the two. You want to be goal oriented and have other things going on in life outside of getting girls, but you don't want to be too rediculously structured either, keep a bit of uncertainess to your life or you will miss out on TONS!

Bottom line, you gotta love yourself and take it easy.

Mr. Mystery
 

Gubby

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If you really believe something... how can you know if it's true or not? You see things which go with your idea as self-evident and things which go against it as a mystery.

But then the same goes for not believing something, believing something else etc. Who can tell you what reality is? So you should really give up on the idea that you believe the "truth" and start thinking of your beliefs as tools you can use to achieve what you want. You can potentially believe anything. What beliefs can you use to achieve your goals? Which hinder you?

Richard Bandler (therapist) said, "I don't try to make people see the truth. I just replace their delusions with more useful ones."
 

Gubby

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Bvbidd said:
So.. your telling us to develop a psychotic condition in order to increase how self-esteem and get women?

Posts like this is why this place is really good at getting weird ass creepy shut-in nerds to become weird ass creepy nerds hitting on women.

Let's just please all live in the real world and not build our own.

It's really hard to belive guys that talk about reading and modelling mythical heroes, meditating, and watching your identity blossom actually get women AT ALL. It sounds a lot more like nerds trying to find a reason to keep living.

Guys that do get women wouldn't give a **** about any of that, and just try to have fun and have a life.
Gotta dig this negativity.:rolleyes:

What would YOU know about any of these activities? It's obvious you've never done them because you're scared if being labelled a nerd.

Napoleon himself prescribed his greatness to reading and rereading, constantly, the biographies and accounts of great men like Caesar. By your measure this guy was the biggest nerd on the face of this earth.

A guy who is secure with himself does whatever he likes, because he knows he's an awesoome guy no matter what. And yes, these rare guys do nerdy things a good deal more than the average person. If a guy like you called him on it, he'd say, "yeah, so?" And he'd get respect because of this attitude.

Do what you want, don't listen to others who don't like it, and stop *****ing at people who do things you don't like. That is what it's like to be confident.
 

Dante3214

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Oh my GOD!


Quit bashing this guy's post!


I love it, I like to glorify myself in fantasy terms because it's what I'm comfortable doing, and I'll do whatever the fvck I want!


Meditation helped me sleep... and helped me concentrate... and helped me not kill myself.



Good Post.
 
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