"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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The future of Instant Messaging

diplomatic_lies

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I was doing a quick press release when I came across this article:

http://www.registerguard.com/news/2004/01/03/a1.messaging.0103.html

Summary: Older people are getting into instant messaging. New uses they've found include:

-Communicating via IM with the family in the same house
-Talking with co-workers
-Talking with people about difficult issues
-Wife and husband using it while in the same room


While instant messaging can be useful sometimes (ie. efficient corporate communication, talking with your cousins in another continent), I'm not sure I like the way its going.

Seems like people are getting waaaay too dependent on it.

Are we gonna whip out our laptops during a date and have a raunchy "Instant Messaging Session"? :p
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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It's nothing new, it's just an alternative to message rather than using their cell phone text messaging. Plus there's no charge for it.

Also, it's usually faster (more efficient) than email. Plus people may be concerned that their emails are being monitored at work. They're unaware that their IMs can be monitored too.
 

Vincent

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I still vow it's retarded to use it to chat with girls. You can't express yourself freely and communication is crippled.

I still use it to chat with my family since all my siblings live in other states and it's easier then calling. I'll also talk to my friends over it but just ones that I don't see face to face, ie ones in other states.
 

Bonhomme

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Spam IMs

I've recently noticed a spate of spam (hacker?) IMs, which I duly ignore, unless there's an accompanying email addy.

If there is an email address, I generally send an email saying: "You should be careful sending IMs to strangers, because they might be trying to hack on to your computer."
 

Joe The Homophobe

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the future of instant messaging should be having instant messaging dissapear as video chat are available for everyone.

you know, video chat with anyone in the world with the same ease of use as instant messaging, and tv quality video.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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NYC Dude

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It is understandable to use IM at work, but with your wife/husband while they're in the same room? That's just silly. It is an efficient way to communicate ideas, basically a cross between the telephone and e-mail, but it can't become a substitute for all modes of communication.
 
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