"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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The future of Instant Messaging

diplomatic_lies

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I was doing a quick press release when I came across this article:

http://www.registerguard.com/news/2004/01/03/a1.messaging.0103.html

Summary: Older people are getting into instant messaging. New uses they've found include:

-Communicating via IM with the family in the same house
-Talking with co-workers
-Talking with people about difficult issues
-Wife and husband using it while in the same room


While instant messaging can be useful sometimes (ie. efficient corporate communication, talking with your cousins in another continent), I'm not sure I like the way its going.

Seems like people are getting waaaay too dependent on it.

Are we gonna whip out our laptops during a date and have a raunchy "Instant Messaging Session"? :p
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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It's nothing new, it's just an alternative to message rather than using their cell phone text messaging. Plus there's no charge for it.

Also, it's usually faster (more efficient) than email. Plus people may be concerned that their emails are being monitored at work. They're unaware that their IMs can be monitored too.
 

Vincent

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I still vow it's retarded to use it to chat with girls. You can't express yourself freely and communication is crippled.

I still use it to chat with my family since all my siblings live in other states and it's easier then calling. I'll also talk to my friends over it but just ones that I don't see face to face, ie ones in other states.
 

Bonhomme

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Spam IMs

I've recently noticed a spate of spam (hacker?) IMs, which I duly ignore, unless there's an accompanying email addy.

If there is an email address, I generally send an email saying: "You should be careful sending IMs to strangers, because they might be trying to hack on to your computer."
 

Joe The Homophobe

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the future of instant messaging should be having instant messaging dissapear as video chat are available for everyone.

you know, video chat with anyone in the world with the same ease of use as instant messaging, and tv quality video.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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NYC Dude

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It is understandable to use IM at work, but with your wife/husband while they're in the same room? That's just silly. It is an efficient way to communicate ideas, basically a cross between the telephone and e-mail, but it can't become a substitute for all modes of communication.
 
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