*The* Fundamental Law of Sexual Attraction

[trent81]

Times have changed, feminine is in. Masculine will always be valuable but the more feminine you are the more they like you. It's just a fad, this too shall pass.

 

[Trader]

So, since a naturally masculine/feminine woman/man desires the more masculine role, for example, there isn't any disatisfaction on her or his part. It's when HE or SHE doesn't live up to HIS or HER natural needs in the balancing act that things get rough forcing the other person to compensate.

I guess I don't entirely agree with this premise in that yes I know men and women have different traits, people are unique, etc. But I still hold a view that women are naturally more submissive, whether they show it or not in their personality and in fact want a man who will out-dominate them.

So, I think it's dangerous to say that if things seem natural, meaning she naturally takes control and he doesn't, that it's okay and everyones happy.

I know one couple where clearly the wife rules (she is like barely a girl, 60% female, 40% male, and the man (40/60 male) is taking it up the butt. What is interesting is that, yes the wife is clearly *accomustomed* taking the lead all the time, but she *resents* it. Many times, she just blurts out her discomfort at her man's passiveness.

But when he tries to assert himself every once in a while, he gets totally shot down because she does not want to change the relationship dynamics.

completely disagree...

Your ego has basically taken over your life. And I've read articles in the dj Bible about killing the ego as is also preached in Buddhism. We are all the same. You are not special. You are not different.

It's actually very interesting you mention this because I know a bit about buddhism. The goal of buddhism is to escape the Maya, to escape sexuality. Buddhism views sexuality as evil. Why? What is sexuality? Sexuality is the differences between sexes, what makes a man a man, and what makes a girl a girl. And if you know anything about Buddhism, it is all about getting rid of duality (differences). This is why buddhism advocates the *killing* of the ego.

And Buddhism just proves my point. Buddhism says, to escape sexuality, you must kill your ego/individuality.

Well, then if you want to EMBRACE your sexuality, what do you do? The exact opposite, you must embrace your ego/individuality.

 

[Trader]

On a related note - have you noticed this particular phenomenon?

One of my female friends, she is about 75% female, 25% male based on my estimates, I know her pretty well. And she does feel attraction towards me (her two girlfriends have told me so privately) and she wants me to make a move to become bf/gf but on the other hand, she feels a bit insecure in dating me. I think cause she senses on a subconscious level, that she can't keep me (cause I'm more like 95% male, 5% female).

And I sensed this, so I actually told her straight up: 'You're afraid to date the really masculine men, because you're afraid you're not girl enough to keep him.'

And she just stared at me, and speechless, she couldn't even deny it.

She told me about 2 guys she's liked in the past. I have met them both, and both are, around the 70% male mark, a bit wimpy.

I have had a couple other similar experiences with other girls.

I feel like, even the girls who are like (70F/30M) feel some attraction to the hyper masculine male (95M/5F), but they somehow sense some discomfort in being with him, like she's not *girl* enough.

Oh and a while ago, I was seeing (casually) this beautiful girl, she was about 95F/5M. She was my classmate back in grad school, and before me, she had a bf. I knew that guy, and he was just like me - 95M/5F

I do not chalk it up to coincidence.

 

[Jitterbug]

I'm curious, how exactly do you measure or estimate something like 70%M, 30%F?

 

[Trader]

I'm curious, how exactly do you measure or estimate something like 70%M, 30%F?

That's a great question and let me preface this by saying it's an art, not a science.

Now let's start with rating men first.

Your level of masculinity, or %M is related to how much individuality you have.

The key is, the higher individuality you have, the more dominance you naturally exhibit. I found this out myself as I used to be extremely submissive and the major beta of the group. I found that as I developed my individuality, I started to dominate old social circles.

Be aware of the pecking order you are in, when you are in group settings. Are you the leader of a group? Do people follow your lead, and pay extra attention to what you say? Do people cater to you?

So you become aware of how you act and are perceived in many many different group situations, and you slowly get a good idea for how much % masculinity you have.

Let me give you one example. I was in this group setting, and this guy was trying to criticize me, because I was dominating the social interaction as usual, and I just looked him straight in the eye, he looked down and stopped and mumbled something to himself. I put him back in his place. Everyone knew what had just happened - he tried to challenge the Alpha and got shot down.

If you have 95%M, in almost any group setting, you are pretty much the alpha male of the group. I think you get the idea.

My %M is pretty high - but I have gotten totally *owned* before by guys who were like 99%M. In fact, there was this major Alpha Wall Street hotshot, yes I definitely could tell, I was submissive to him, when I was in his presence. You do not mess with him.

So let's say you've figured out based on countless social interactions, you're like 90%M. Well then if you meet a guy and after hanging out for a while, you are dominate over him, well then obviously he is less than 90%M.

Once you've established your general % masculinity, it's pretty easy to identify how feminine girls are. If you're 90M/10F, and you are constantly interacting with a girl who is say 60F/40M, you will keep getting into conflicts with her - it's like you 2 are butting heads - there is friction.

My one friend is 60M/40F, and his wife is really dominant for a girl, 60F/40M. they get along perfectly, but I keep butting heads with his wife - we just don't click.

After interacting with a girl for a while, I can easily tell if she is hyper-feminine (90F/10F) - it is like a oasis in the desert. We just click. She is passive enough to handle my aggressiveness.

An easy way to figure out how feminine a girl is, look to see how opinionated she is. You can just tell by how a girl talks, is she hyper-assertive, or not?

 

[02hero]

Surely all of this alpha male bs is situational?

You could be the alpha of a group sitting in a bar with some friends. Take that alpha out of his comfort zone. For an extreme example, let's say drop him into a war zone, he could then become an instant beta.

You could be the feminine beta guy, but if the rest of the group are all pussies too, the beta could be the alpha of the group. The situation plays a large part in all of these alpha/beta shenanigans. I'm not entirely convinced by it all.

 

[jeffthechef]

and yes i know a lot more about buddhism..not "just a bit"

And basically you're doing the opposite of what it's advising...you never embrace the ego...it leads you to the path of attachment...

AND THANKS FOR DODGING THE REST OF MY POST...i love how you only chose the part you THOUGHT you could attack


Basically, your post sounds like a bunch of unnecessary technique bull****. I'll give you some Bruce Lee..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDW6vkuqGLg

Stop making all these damn fingers...you're analyzing the hell out of the situation..

Well...If your post helps someone here, great.

 

[zekko]

I'm curious, how exactly do you measure or estimate something like 70%M, 30%F?

Part of this is in your interests, what you like.
Football, boxing, beer, dogs, hot rods, stuff like that = masculine.
Dancing, crocheting, cats, shopping, things of that ilk = feminine.

It's okay, even desirable, to have some feminine interests, but you are expected to have more masculine interests or you may come off as a prissy boy.

 

[jophil28]

Part of this is in your interests, what you like.
Football, boxing, beer, dogs, hot rods, stuff like that = masculine.
Dancing, crocheting, cats, shopping, things of that ilk = feminine.

It's okay, even desirable, to have some feminine interests, but you are expected to have more masculine interests or you may come off as a prissy boy.

Here is a great example of conventional 'feminine' behavior overlaid on a strong masculine base .
Go to Youtube and enter " Riccardo Yulia samba"

 

[radiodude]

Here's my interests, just cause I'm curious about mine-

1)Computers- Masculine
2)radio (the business, technical stuff)-Masculine
3)Disk Golf-Masculine
4)Hiking-exploring- Masculine
5)Business development (making money)-Masculine
6)Politics-Masculine
7)Food (not cooking it, just eating) Masculine
8)Gaming-Masculine
9)Lawn care, landscaping-Masculine
10)I'd love to get into hunting, but have only done it once.-Masculine
11)Somewhat into soccer-Masculine
12)I like nice cars and keeping a car in good shape but I don't really enjoy
them as a hobby. -Masculine
13) Beer-Masculine
14) History/War-Masculine
15) Music-Either/Often Feminine?
16) Maps
17) Shopping for stuff I like, electronics, toys, etc.(I don't like traditional
shopping)-Masculine
18) Being creative- Feminine
19) Guns are cool, even though I don't own alot.

I'm not really into football, basketball, baseball.

I guess I'm not your traditional hyper masculine 'dude' but at the same time I don't really enjoy feminine things.

I came up with 89% Masculine, 11% Feminine.

However, does this involve social personality traits too? Obviously here I only did interests.

 

[Trader]

Surely all of this alpha male bs is situational?

You could be the alpha of a group sitting in a bar with some friends. Take that alpha out of his comfort zone. For an extreme example, let's say drop him into a war zone, he could then become an instant beta.

You could be the feminine beta guy, but if the rest of the group are all pussies too, the beta could be the alpha of the group. The situation plays a large part in all of these alpha/beta shenanigans. I'm not entirely convinced by it all.

Of course. I have experienced this myself - being the Alpha of one group and being Beta in another group.

It is situational. Which is why I said you should observe yourself in group dynamics ACROSS as many different situations and people as you can to get a better guage of yourself.

 

[Trader]

and yes i know a lot more about buddhism..not "just a bit"

And basically you're doing the opposite of what it's advising...you never embrace the ego...it leads you to the path of attachment...

AND THANKS FOR DODGING THE REST OF MY POST...i love how you only chose the part you THOUGHT you could attack


Basically, your post sounds like a bunch of unnecessary technique bull****. I'll give you some Bruce Lee..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDW6vkuqGLg

Stop making all these damn fingers...you're analyzing the hell out of the situation..

Well...If your post helps someone here, great.

You seem to be very *attached* to my posts.

No one is *attacking* anything - why so serious?

You really need to improve your reading comprehension skills. I said that if you are trying to seek spiritual development (i.e. being a monk) then you need to kill your ego and escape the Maya (sexuality).

I have no such desires and thus I will embrace my sexuality and my ego.

I do not need to address the rest of your post, because the main issue of contention is: should one embrace the ego or not. That is the key point of debate.

 

[slaog]

I'm always telling my GF to 'remember who the boss is'. She loves that as do all hetrosexual women. So, even when you meet strong personalities you always need to let them know that to you they're just little girls.

 

[Jitterbug]

Being creative is feminine? Since when?

HALO 3 and FALLOUT 3 are built from creativity and made by men. If a woman made HALO the game would be about a boredline gay shopaholic who gives aliens space makeovers, plays with puppies and eats chocolate...

Not to mention that in the history of mankind, nearly everything was invented by men. Who are the leading artists and musicians in any field you can think of? Mostly men.

15) Music-Either/Often Feminine?

How is that feminine when every music genre was created by men?

Having said that, most arts can't be categorized as purely masculine or feminine. Arts are where the two genders meet half way and each plays their own role. Take dancing for example. The man leads and sets the frame for the dance. The woman follows and enriches the moves with her beauty & grace.

 

[Trader]

Here's my interests, just cause I'm curious about mine-

1)Computers- Masculine
2)radio (the business, technical stuff)-Masculine
3)Disk Golf-Masculine
4)Hiking-exploring- Masculine
5)Business development (making money)-Masculine
6)Politics-Masculine
7)Food (not cooking it, just eating) Masculine
8)Gaming-Masculine
9)Lawn care, landscaping-Masculine
10)I'd love to get into hunting, but have only done it once.-Masculine
11)Somewhat into soccer-Masculine
12)I like nice cars and keeping a car in good shape but I don't really enjoy
them as a hobby. -Masculine
13) Beer-Masculine
14) History/War-Masculine
15) Music-Either/Often Feminine?
16) Maps
17) Shopping for stuff I like, electronics, toys, etc.(I don't like traditional
shopping)-Masculine
18) Being creative- Feminine
19) Guns are cool, even though I don't own alot.

I'm not really into football, basketball, baseball.

I guess I'm not your traditional hyper masculine 'dude' but at the same time I don't really enjoy feminine things.

I came up with 89% Masculine, 11% Feminine.

However, does this involve social personality traits too? Obviously here I only did interests.

Your interests are not what makes you masculine per se.

Think about how many muscle men are whipped.

What makes you masculine is your mindset.

 

[jophil28]

Here's my interests, just cause I'm curious about mine-


11)Somewhat into soccer-Masculine

Soccer ?
A doubtful inclusion. You ever hear that Beckman guy talk ?.

 

[Jitterbug]

Soccer ?
A doubtful inclusion. You ever hear that Beckman guy talk ?.

You're a rugby guy eh, Uncle Jophil? Rugby is just about the most homoerotic sports in the world - and AFL a close second. A bunch of guys groping & rolling around with each other on the field, butt-fingering each other, showering together afterwards and having group sex - 12 guys to 1 girl. Seriously!

At least soccer players don't grope each other and they like women.

 

[jophil28]

:rock: :rock:

You're a rugby guy eh, Uncle Jophil? Rugby is just about the most homoerotic sports in the world - and AFL a close second. A bunch of guys groping & rolling around with each other on the field, butt-fingering each other, showering together afterwards and having group sex - 12 guys to 1 girl. Seriously!

At least soccer players don't grope each other and they like women.

Nah, I'm indifferent to football. Bunch of meatheads with alcohol problems and too much money.

I prefer individual, close contact sports, like Tango....

 

[jeffthechef]

You seem to be very *attached* to my posts.

No one is *attacking* anything - why so serious?

You really need to improve your reading comprehension skills. I said that if you are trying to seek spiritual development (i.e. being a monk) then you need to kill your ego and escape the Maya (sexuality).

I have no such desires and thus I will embrace my sexuality and my ego.

I do not need to address the rest of your post, because the main issue of contention is: should one embrace the ego or not. That is the key point of debate.

how does attacking make me attached?..and how does it make me serious? Are you simply a *****?

This isn't a debate..I dont debate with dip****s.

 

[The Message Boy]

Trader, interesting, I disagree with this post as well. Let's debate.

Trader says,

So 3 years ago - I finally told myself: 'Enough is enough. I want the really feminine girls - those are the ones I want. Well then I must become masculine. And how do I do that?'

Smh at the theories that go out on this board. This entire "what's masculine"/"what's not" is really dumb to me lol and doesn't really reflect reality.

MASCULINE just like FEMININE has changed it's definitive definitions over time as CULTURE and SOCIETY has changed.

The Male roles and the Female roles have changed over time.

If you are not having success with women, I doubt that it's because you aren't MASCULINE ENOUGH.

If you are not having success with women, I would think it's more related to you not being a good communicator.

Being a good communicator is MORE related to understaning the culture and people you are interacting with (so that you fit in while also putting your own spin on it so you stand out).

Just like the tips and techniques and SS stuff is stupid, the entire MASCULINE **** is stupid and is just another "fad" or "theory" to get guys who REFUSE to just go out and LIVE to hold onto.

Trader says,

What is masculinity exactly?

Trader, again, the answer to this is in the EYES of the beholder. Some people TODAY say that a guy that paints his nails, is more metro-sexual, and more woman-acting is MASCULINE because he also has CONFIDENCE, others will say he's not, DEPENDS on who you ask. I can tell you though, depending on where that guy is, he can and does get laid all over the place.

To back up the point I said earlier, it's all about the culture and social dynamics where that metro-sexual is located.

If he goes to the HOOD, he most likely will NOT be seen as cool or masculine because the social dynamics there are DIFFERENT. He also most likely will NOT be successful with women there.

But if he goes more into the city-life that metro-sexual is more likely to fit in, be seen as cool, and in return, also be successful with women.

Not a hard fasted rule, but at least is more lined up with reality than your theories.

Trader says,

Individuality is the main component of masculinity. Individuality is what gets you the feminine girls.

Your definition of masculinity is YOUR definition and NOT a universal rule. To take it further, I just think you are keyboard jockeying and posting crap from Pook posts that have no relevance to anything.