The Friendzone

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

For all PUAs/DJs, the friendzone is what you want to avoid. It's bad because you always interpret the wrong messages and if you develop oneitis, she usually ends up playing you, whether she knows it or not.

A girl friend to you, is simply a person attached to you by feelings of affection or personal regard.

A friend is someone you spend a lot of your time with, whether alone or with others. A friend is someone you give too much attention to and they are grateful instead of attracted. A friend is someone who cares about you but has no desire to "be with you" and has other friends (both male or female) that she clearly places above you. It doesn't mean you aren't special to her, it just means you two won't work out.

A girlfriend to you is a person who you share a sexual or romantic relationship with.

There are so many things that could describe a lover, or a girlfriend. A girlfriend feels desire towards the mystery you create around you. A girlfriend feels confused about whether you love her or not when you apply the push and pull method. A girlfriend feels jealous and worried when you're talking to other girls and they seem interested in you. A girlfriend is someone you make feel special, someone you play with and someone you set the limits with, if she wants something she has to do something for you to get it. A girlfriend wants you and wants to be right next to you.

This all sums up to the typical determination of your chances:

Affection vs. Attraction

Affection: Attatchment and devotion. A loyal person who doesn't see you as better than others but is strictly moralistic on views towards you. The girl is affected, by your personality, probably too much kindness in there, and wants to be friends with you but doesn't see you sexually like someone she'd want to hop into bed with.

Attraction: A man (including his personality) whom draws, attracts, allures, or entices a woman. His personality traits and characteristic qualities provide pleasure, like an attractive feature. Girls stare at him with not just one feeling, but a whole mess of jumbled up emotions. So many questions, because he is mysterious and appears to be greater than other men, and in her eyes, a person close to perfection. Shes interested and wants to find out more.


Hope this helps some people.
-GWA

 

[NickSCFC2000]

I don't think I'd ever be just friends with a woman I found really attractive. It would depend if I was single or not, it's a bit undignified if you're single and doing it.

 

[Chicks Just Dig Me]

This is pretty good stuff there. You do a pretty good job in explaining stuff. What I'd like you to add is How one could avoid the friendzone or being a friend. Also, how can someone get removed from the friendzone. All right.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

This is pretty good stuff there. You do a pretty good job in explaining stuff. What I'd like you to add is How one could avoid the friendzone or being a friend. Also, how can someone get removed from the friendzone. All right.

To avoid, imitate the girlfriend and attraction part and do not imitate the girl-friend and affection part.

As for leaving the friendzone.. man, I've been thinking of that for a long time. Idk about that, I think you'd have to find out how to do it yourself to be able to explain it, but I'm pretty sure there is a way.

You really should avoid the FZ though.

 

[malenko]

I'm in a long distance relationship and have never met my girlfriend. It was extremely intense for about 6 months.

However, in a story that could easily be made into a compelling movie, things are amiss. It would take about 100 posts to explain everything so I'll just try to get to a point here.
She wants to be friends now (we were always tremendous friends throughout our extremely intense relationship) and doesn't wany any (always an emphasis on any) boyfriend in her life. She is always honest to me. I accepted the friends invitation for various reasons though still called her by her gf nickname. I think I may have become too wussy. However, there are also a ton of lvery difficult life problems that have caused this too. Perhaps some depression as well. She is frustrated at the "impossibility" of us not being able to be together.

How would I go about getting out of the friend zone when I suspect she honestly don't want to but feels she has to? When our communication is very limited and we can only communicate by words? Any reccomendations? I'll think about what I can do and see if it can work in the situation were in.

ltr to friend zone to ltr from long distance -- how do you do it? Should I sneak in little things that friends wouldn't say? Should I just go with friends and try to switch gears to lovers later when life problems are hopefully better? How do I manage to get out of this predicament witout appearing too desperate or needy?

 

[IsiMan84]

How can you be with someone you haven't met?

 

[malenko]

How can you be with someone you haven't met?

Well not physically. Someday though.
We met online and are from different countries
Does anyone have any advice?

 

[IsiMan84]

I can see being online friends, but I would have a hard time being in a relationship with somebody who I'm not even 100% sure they really are.

But I honestly don't think anybody's going to have the sort of advice you're specifically looking for. Seeing as you've never actually met her I'd almost have to assume you'd have the same sort of success as someone who's posted advice on how to game women online. But even then that's usually a short interaction because it's just setting you up to meet them later. In your case you're never going to meet her or go any further, which is why I believe you can only be friends.