We've all been there. Great relationship with a girl and the misery wants company friend chimes in and polutes your girls brain. This has happened multiple times to me and wrecked some very serious relationships (11 years, 6 years, now 1 year). Ultimately the friend always wins only to disown her friend because she has just found the most dreamy man in the world. This is about to happen again. Anybody got any advice on how to cut this one off at the pass?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
The Friend
- Thread starter clifford
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You just found the answer in reverse. If you become that Dreamy man of her's then she will eventually disown her bitter friend for good and you will win.clifford said:
You are right that if her friend doesn't like you, she is going to make it difficult for you but ultimatley its up to your woman to make that final decision. If that occurs often then maybe you are doing something to lower her interest level's which causes her friend to help her make that final decision.
Women don't listen to logic but listen more to their emotions. You can be a bad human being and have your woman entire family and friends tell her to leave you but if you are good to her and she loves you then she won't. It happens all the time.
DJD
Why not become friends with her friend? OR actually be a great guy who she wouldn't want to leave.
I serisouly don't see why you need to ask this question. All the girls i've been with have never got rid of me because their mate tried to wreck things... well actually the one did, but that friend had feelings for me... long and boring story. Fact is if your a great guy she'll not want to lose you and will do anything to keep you. If she gets rid of you it's not just down to her mate, but more something that YOU did.
And if the friend continues to be a problem just talk with that friend, solve the problem in a polite way so you can be friends with them. I'd do that but that's because i've been through the making enemies days and it got tiring. It never hurts to have more friends.
I serisouly don't see why you need to ask this question. All the girls i've been with have never got rid of me because their mate tried to wreck things... well actually the one did, but that friend had feelings for me... long and boring story. Fact is if your a great guy she'll not want to lose you and will do anything to keep you. If she gets rid of you it's not just down to her mate, but more something that YOU did.
And if the friend continues to be a problem just talk with that friend, solve the problem in a polite way so you can be friends with them. I'd do that but that's because i've been through the making enemies days and it got tiring. It never hurts to have more friends.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
I'm sorry, did you say 11 year relationship? Get the fvck outta here! I'll be married 10 years in July and I can tell you there's no way in hell I would ever permit even the opportunity for something like what you're describing to happen.
Clifford, I think its best if you require your GF to disclose to you anything negative which is said by any of her friends or relatives about you. From that point on they become your enemy. You do not tolerate them. You eliminate them from contact with your GF if they persist. So its their best friend, well if they keep it up and you do nothing you will lose anyway.
Sure you can try to butter up the pest if you think it might work but some of these people just like to meddle and treating them nicely just encourages them. Its a question of your standing ultimately, if the best friend gets priority over you, you will always be in a weak position.
Sure you can try to butter up the pest if you think it might work but some of these people just like to meddle and treating them nicely just encourages them. Its a question of your standing ultimately, if the best friend gets priority over you, you will always be in a weak position.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
i don't think he's deluding himself, he's just not seeing the full picture.
We all know that a woman's friends have an effect on how she views her guy, either positive or negative. He just needs to make sure he's actually doing something good so that his girl will only quickly think over anything negative and then remind herself on how good he really is. And then of course deal with the friend.
We all know that a woman's friends have an effect on how she views her guy, either positive or negative. He just needs to make sure he's actually doing something good so that his girl will only quickly think over anything negative and then remind herself on how good he really is. And then of course deal with the friend.