The flip-side of the single mommy - the single elder-care giver

[MatureDJ]

Caring for Older Relatives Is So Expensive That Even AARP’s Expert Filed for Bankruptcy

The unexpected costs can accumulate over time and overwhelm even the most experienced of the nation’s 53 million family caregivers.

www.wsj.com

Amy Goyer is AARP’s family and caregiving expert. She has written two books on the subject and has her own consulting business.

“I am a caregiving expert. How did I end up in bankruptcy?” she says.

Ms. Goyer depleted her savings and ended up relying on credit cards after being financially drained by costs related to caring for her parents. After more than a decade of caring for her mom, who had a stroke, and her dad, who had Alzheimer’s, Ms. Goyer filed for bankruptcy protection in 2019.

Ms. Goyer began her caregiving from a distance. Her parents lived in Phoenix. She lived in Alexandria, Va., and worked in Washington for the AARP. While her sisters pitched in, Ms. Goyer, who was single, childless and had a background in aging, managed their care and ultimately financed a large part of it.

She left her full-time position at AARP and started a consulting business, which gave her more flexibility to care for her parents but also meant added costs for things like health insurance.

She found a continuing-care community for her parents and moved into their house, taking over the mortgage and bills, while maintaining her Washington-area apartment to be close to her clients and boyfriend.

As her parents’ savings dwindled and their needs increased, Ms. Goyer assumed more expenses, relying on credit cards to buy equipment, like special folding wheelchairs, and pay veterinary bills for Mr. Jackson, a service dog that had become her dad’s constant companion and source of comfort. The air-conditioning units died and had to be replaced. She paid with credit cards.

Her boyfriend, Bill Carter, who lived in Alexandria, came out and helped with small house projects. On occasion, she borrowed money from him to get through the month. “I know it was very hard for her to ask for that kind of help,” says Mr. Carter. “She was trying so hard to keep everything going.”