"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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The first time I actually had some fun at a club

Maxtro

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Last night I went to the Forum in Sunnyvale. My mission was to have fun, try to dance and maybe even talk to some girls. This would be my third time at a club. I always go alone and I have never danced or talked to girls in my past outings. I arrived at about 10:30 and there were only a few people in the club and the dance floor was empty. So I decided to make myself known, went to the dance floor and began to get down, I was the only one there. Just kidding ;) I waited at the edge for a while until more people showed up. When it was sufficiently populated, I thought to myself F it I’m going to dance. I went to an area with a little room and I actually did it. It was pretty easy to fallow the music but if I tired to add any semi-complex steps my rhythm was shot. I eventually wound up next to a group of three really hot girls. I was doing my thing while they were doing they’re, grinding off each other. I wanted to dance with them but I didn’t know how to approach. It was too loud to talk to them so I just stayed in my area and watched them for about 5 minutes. I left to explore other areas and right after I left the girls took off. I think they wanted me to dance with them but I couldn’t tell when I was there.

So I’m exploring the club and I notice that all the tables and couches are taped off for VIP’s. So no sitting conversations tonight, I was disappointed. I start to get really thirsty so I go to the bar and squeeze in next to a HB. A couple of minutes later I say Hi and we have a very brief conversation. I order my drink and pay with my credit card, when I sign the receipt I notice the cost. $8.00! Dang, I had no idea it would be so much. I won’t buy a drink again until I have some real money. I finish my drink and I’m feeling bouncy but I’m still to nervous to approach girls, I just didn’t know how to start.

I return to the main dance floor the DJ starts talking and I’m thinking, “I know that voice.” He announces himself and its Saint John from Wild 949 and he’s got Greg Lopez in the mix. I climb on the stage to get a better look and John’s just a normal guy. I thought he would be a super freak, flashy gay guy but he looked normal. It’s a real trip seeing somebody you always hear on the radio on real life.

The music starts again and I start dancing by myself looking for girls. At this point I’m just happy dancing next to girls. So I find a group and dance next to them then one of them says, “Get in the center” I’m like “Huh”? “Come on get in the middle” she replies. So I’m in the middle with like four girls around me. I’m dancing in circles totally clueless. I focus on each girl for about 30 sec and go to the next. One of the girls seems to like me so she gets closer to she tells me to dance with her. She turns her back to me. I tell her I don’t know how to dance she tells me to just feel the rhythm. She then starts grinding her ass against my crouch and I quickly get hard. She doesn’t seem to care and we keep dancing. At this point I want to start touching her but I don’t know how or where to touch. I think I end up putting my hands on her front thighs. She quickly takes my hands off; I think they were too close to her crotch. Shortly after her friends start to take off she says, “Thank you” and leaves.

I stayed till the club closed about two hours later but that was the high point of my night. I didn’t talk to or dance with any girls again. I had accomplished all of my goals and had fun. Not as much fun as I would have liked but I did enjoy myself at some points.

I also learned a few things. First I can’t count on girls inviting me to dance. I got really lucky that time. While I did place myself in the same situation several times the rest of the night no girls invited me over. Now I know that I need to do the approaching and start dancing with them, I’m just not sure how. I also need to learn how to grind and where I can and can’t put my hands on her. I need like a grind practice dummy :p I know have much to learn but as long as I keep making progress, its all good. I’m going out again next week. That time it will be my goal to dance with several girls throughout the night. I’m not worried about closing at this point. Its all about fun.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Ol'BlueEyes

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this post got me thinking

I go out alone all the time. It's nice to not be alone in being alone. :D
Next time you find yourself dancing close with chicks, do what I do: touch her with just the tips of your fingers, and trail them up and down her sides. Most of them are ticklish and will let you know. This'll work best after you've established some rapport.
BTW, is there anything sexier on a woman than the skin on her midriff? It's SOOOOO soft. :D
 

Ol'BlueEyes

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whoops, realized something

Sorry...I guess my tip was for dancing with one chick. I've never danced with four (nice going!).
Good to see you're having fun, which should be your goal anyway. If I go out trying to mack, I'm almost always disappointed. If I'm just there to have a good time, it takes the pressure off.
 

Maxtro

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Thanks Blue.

So just go up to a girl and touch her to get her attention. I need to get used to the whole touching other people thing. Now that I think about it I was touched by so many people last night. One girl even used my shoulder to get down off the stage without even talking to me. Like a moron I didn't say anything back. But now I know its ok to touch anybody as long as its not overtly sexual, at first.

As for a group of girls dancing in a circle, I've been doing some reading and it seems the best way to start dancing with them is to just get into the center. Or as you said to touch one of them and get her attention.

I'm still trying to figure out how to grind properly.
 

Maxtro

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Yeah you helped a bit Brak86 ;)

I really wish I had all this info last night. I probobly would have ended up dancing with more than just one girl and could have closed some of them.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Spiter

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I got nothing on going to a club alone cuz I've never done it, but damn it does feel sweet grinding up on girls doesn't it? Usually I'm with a bro and we'll spot two hotties dancing together, go up to them together and just start dancing like a group of four and then when the time is right we each move in for some close dancing with them, eventually grinding.

Just remember they're all there to have fun, and if you have confidence in your looks they won't resist you dancing with them, they WANT you to dance with them! It's more fun for them too to have a guy dancing with them. Even if you're not too confident in your looks, having confidence in yourself is a turn-on to them too, just don't be ****y about it.

I'd love to hear some more stories on people having success at clubs alone because I'd like to try it sometime, but for now I'm going to keep with bringing a homie or two.
 
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